Update

Wow, I really suck at this lately.

Not much has been going on in the Fox casa as of late, but a few things have happened that merit mentioning.

Christmas happened. Mine was good. A little bittersweet because Mr. Wonderful and I couldn't make it down to St. George like we had hoped, but I spent the day with him and his family so it was nice. Mr. Wonderful even did a few of my family's traditions with me (A Christmas Story on TBS all day-he even started quoting lines by the end of it-SCORE!, and opening presents through the day), so that was really nice. Plus we'll be headed down there for the weekend on the 18. 

I have two more nights (Thursday and Friday-weather permitting) up at This is the Place for Candlelight Christmas. I'm so glad I was able to be a part of this again. It really helps get me into the right frame of mind for Christmas, plus it's so fun to dress up and share my talents with others. I LOVE to watch people's faces light up when they see us come up the street. We even had a few people at off site performances stop us and tell us they had come up and their kids couldn't stop talking about us, or that they were already planning to come but couldn't wait to see us in the park. I'm not going to lie; knowing how loved this group is makes all the rehearsals, driving back and forth, and wig-wearing SO worth it.

Let's see...anything else. Oh, I was cast as Shelby in "Steel Magnolias" last week. No biggie. I KID. It's a HUGE deal!! I am so so excited to work with Midvale, Steph, Casey, and her pro team. Plus I get to play a role I have dreamed about playing since I was 17, so that in and of itself is pretty dang cool. We start rehearsing next week and we run February 22-March 2, 2013. I pick up my script tonight and I can't wait to start.

Well, that's it kiddoes. Hope you had a fun, family filled holiday, and if I don't see you before then I hope you have a safe and fun New Year! (Mr. Wonderful works til 11:00 that night, so if anyone wants to let me tag along on their evening let me know.) :)

skirting the issue

So apparently there has been a lot of brouhaha on the interwebs about women wearing skirts/dresses to church. Apparently there’s even some sort of protest scheduled for this Sunday.  I am glad to see that I am not the only one who thinks this is completely ridiculous. I am so bothered with people who need to make everything into a political statement—especially things like this where it’s OBVIOUS they are so insecure about something they have resorted to grasping at straws for something to take issue with. 

There are many reasons I love and am so thankful for my mother, but one of the biggest is that she taught me to love and accept EVERYONE. I remember one Sunday morning-I could only have been 5 or 6, and we were on our way to church. I remember seeing one of the less-active families headed that way too, and I noticed the little girl was wearing a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. I asked my mom why she wasn’t in a dress, and she replied, “it doesn’t matter to Heavenly Father what you wear to church. It matters more to Him that you’re there.” Twenty-six years later and that lesson has still held true for me.

For me women wearing dresses to church isn’t a sign of submissiveness, but rather respect. Respect because you wear the nicest things you own when you go to worship. Dresses are the nicest thing I own, so that’s what I wear. Not because I feel I am being oppressed and unequal to my male counterparts. It makes me sad that there are women in the church who feel this way. Men and women in the church have their own roles to play, they are both divine and necessary in their own right, and I have never once felt that one was more important than the other. It is only when both are working in harmony that everything works as it should. If anything I have felt more honored by the men in the Church because I am a woman. Men and women will never be ‘equal’ because they are not the same, and it is infuriating to me that some women will choose to use something as sacred as personal worship to propel their own political agenda fueled by their own insecurity.

Now if a woman chooses to wear pants to church because that is what she is most comfortable in? I say more power to her. If you are so pre-occupied about how uncomfortable you are in what you’re wearing that you lose sight of the real reason you’re there, then you’re better off not going in my opinion. Do I think less of women who choose to wear pants? Nope. I’m just glad they’re there.

I just wish people would stop. Stop wanting what others have. Stop the hatred, and anger, and discord. Stop trying to be something they aren’t and instead revel in what they ARE. I am a divine daughter of my Heavenly Father, and I know that He holds women in the highest regard. I am trusted with bearing and raising His children. One day I can be a QUEEN. That is pretty cool and not the least bit oppressive in my opinion. Because we’re different we have been given different responsibilities-neither is more important than the other, and that’s just fine by me.

People may think I’m brain-washed or a Stepford wife for saying this. I assure you this isn’t the case. I merely have never felt oppressed or wronged by my role as a woman in the Church and I am HAPPY with the role I have been given. So, I will be wearing a dress to church this Sunday. Not because I feel I HAVE to, but because I WANT to. I hope what you wear to worship is what you WANT to be in and it allows you to feel close to your Heavenly Father and His spirit (or whatever you believe in). Because that’s all that matters.

Even fashion-forward girl power Carrie wore a dress to church...just sayin'.

hair today...gone tomorrow

I've been debating cutting my hair for a while. Like a LONG while. The last six months or so have not been the best, and the last few weeks were the last straw. It was time for a change and a little positive energy. I had been growing it out with the intention to donate but I had originally planned to grow it to my waist so I had a little more wiggle room. Last week I started seriously considering cutting my hair, and although I had my reservations (change is scary!) the thought stayed persistent and wouldn't go away. In my experience when the thought won't go away it's because it needs to happen, so I scoured the interwebs to find something that I liked. I found this:

LOVE.

I then had the following conversation with my good friend Karalee:

Followed with this picture:

Yeah I'm rad when it comes to explaining what I want. Lucky for me Karalee is amazing.

Kar came over on Saturday and after about 30 minutes of making sure we were on the same page we set to work. I'm not going to lie. I was nervous. So nervous that I told her to just cut it without warning me so I couldn't change my mind. She put it in four pony  tails and got to work. Two hours, one color job, and eleven inches later this is what I got:

I'm still getting used to styling short hair, and my neck is SUPER itchy where my hair is rubbing it, but other than that I LOVE it. Aside from a few 'mehs' from silly boys everyone loves it too! I've even been told I look younger-which is good-but I'm worried now I look TOO young!

I'll be mailing my pony off to Locks of Love later this week. I hope whoever gets my hair loves it as much as I did!

mind your own business

"So, when are you and Mr. Wonderful getting married?"

I know people mean well and when I'm asked this it comes from a place of love (for the most part), but I'm so sick of it I'm ready to start punching people in the face. Here's why:

A: If I had an announcement to make I'd make it.

B: IT'S NONE OF YOUR FREAKING BUSINESS

C: It's a humiliating question to answer and I'm tired of acting like it doesn't bother me and you're not the ZILLIONTH tactless person to pass judgement and unwanted advice on a situation you know NOTHING about.

Suffice it to say if there's ever an announcement to make I'll make it. In the mean time keep your rude, tactless, and inappropriate questions and comments to yourself. If you choose to be a jerk and ask anyway, consider yourself warned.

revisited

I have never been one for revisiting the past. I find for me it’s hard to move forward if I do, so although I often look back on things fondly I rarely go back and revisit it. I have never gone to a High School reunion; I rarely shed tears when a show comes to a close, and I am always trying to live my life the best I can and make wonderful memories for myself, but always keep moving forward. I have also found the few times I have allowed myself to revisit the past it has left me wishing I had just left well enough alone and not marred the memories I did have.  

Wednesday night was the first time I was actually glad to revisit something. About a month ago Steph emailed us and let us know that the South Valley Theater Association asked all the arts councils in the valley to do a reprisal of one of their shows from the year for a benefit concert, and she wanted to know if the Wonderettes would be interested in getting back together for this one night event.
After making sure I schedule was open (thanks to rehearsals for this) I said yes to revisiting Missy and singing with the Wonderettes again. As skeptical as I was at first-it had been almost three months since we'd closed--I'm so glad my schedule allowed me to do this. It was only a 10-minute set, and the tech aspect was more than a little rough, but it was so much fun being on stage with the girls singing our songs again, and I was so glad friends who hadn't been able to see the show initially were able to come get a taste of this adorable production. I had completely forgotten how much I love Missy and doing this show. She is in my top three roles and I wouldn't hesitate at the opportunity to play Missy again. Thanks to the SVTA for putting this together!

Be Marvelous!

Together again! (Suzy, Cindy Lou, Betty Jean, and Missy-The Marvelous Wonderettes!)

like-minded

When did having your own opinion become a bad thing? And when did it become ok for people to trash yours when they don’t line up to what they themselves believe to be correct? People’s politics, religious views, clothing choices, movie tastes, what sports you watch and teams you root for, music preferences, and even whether you prefer an iPhone or an Android are subject to ridicule if it strays from what is considered ‘the norm’. Who defines what is ‘the norm’ anyway?

One of the ‘norms’ that bothers me the most is the battle of the Beatles. If you are not a rabid fan somehow you are not human or something equally ridiculous. Let me go on the record and state that although I enjoy their music they are not my favorite, and in my opinion they didn’t revolutionize anything. They merely made popular what other artists like the Beach Boys and Elvis were already doing. Yesterday I shared a video on Facebook and stated that although I’m not a fan, I love this particular song. I immediately had a friend attack me and call me a loser because I am not a member of the Beatles fan club. What I WANTED to do was go on the defensive and retaliate to the personal attack I felt was being thrown at me. Instead I tried to take the high road (which I may have failed at) and stated I feel I am an individual because I don't merely go along with the crowd because it is the ‘cool’ thing to do. The person then attacked me (or so I felt) again by saying people can say that about Disneyland. Not wanting to get into an ever bigger, more pointless argument that would do nothing but tick me off I decided to let it go.

My question to you, dear blog readers is this. Why do people think bullying people with different views is ok? I enjoy a good debate and the opportunity to share my point of view with other people, and I may get passionate (which may sound angry but it’s me just wanting to be heard and have my point of view respected), but I would NEVER attack someone personally and resort to bullying, name calling, and mud flinging for what they believed, so why do people think it's ok to do it to me? Are they that insecure with their own beliefs that they are afraid a differing point of view will cause them to come toppling down? What ever happened to live and let live? Maybe this is the wrong approach to take, but at the end of the day I am only worried about the choices that affect me directly and what I will have to stand accountable for before the Lord. Will He care that I was a rabid Beatles or Disneyland fan? I doubt it. Will He care how I treated the people who didn’t share my beliefs? You betcha. So here’s my proposition-fitting because it is anti-bully month and all: you worry about you and I’ll worry about me, and anything we don’t see eye to eye on we’ll respect each other’s right to our views and just agree to disagree, yes? Ok, good. 

*and for the record I DID talk to this particular friend rather than just passive-aggressively posting here.

advent

I have wanted an advent calendar for YEARS. My mother the sewing goddess made a reusable one 20+ years ago and it was always the highlight of Christmas. My siblings and I would always fight over whose turn it was to pull the lovingly hand-embroidered felt pieces each day (candy advents are for suckas.) :). I still ache a little each year knowing my mom is now in St George having all the fun!

Today I did some searching and after looking at scores of ideas-including an ADORABLE nativity one that I loved but worried it was just TOO ambitious-and found this:

Cute huh? Of course I'll tweak it a little and make it my own (mostly because there's no pattern so I'm doing it from scratch), but I also love the buttons--among other things.

Well, here goes. I'm headed to the fabric store tonight.We'll see in a week or so if I've bitten off more than I can chew, because the sewing gene definitely skipped a generation with me...

priesthood blessings

Why is it the simplest things are the hardest to ask for? For me it's Priesthood blessings. Maybe it's because my dad has never been active in the Church and my brothers fell away as they got older so I have never had a Melchizedek Priesthood holder in my home. I always relied on my grandfather, my mom's brothers, and my Uncle Gregg for Priesthood blessings, and then it was usually for the 'big stuff' because getting one was usually a bit of a production-them taking time from their families to drive out to our house, and us having to wait until they got there. I'm sure they never minded coming out, but I always remember feeling guilty because they were going to all this trouble for me. I never received a father's blessing at the beginning of a new school year, I never got one when I was sick (unless I was really REALLY sick-and then we called the aforementioned Priesthood holders), I didn't have one the night before I had my wisdom teeth out, and I have never been able to receive one when I just felt I needed a little extra...something. Because of the production I remember it being growing up I've never felt that I have had that power at my disposal so I have trouble utilizing it. Please don't mistake this for anything more than me sharing a fact of my life with you-I am not playing the martyr, I love my dad and my brothers more than anything, and I wouldn't trade them for ANYTHING. That being said it was hard not having the Priesthood in my home growing up, and it makes it even harder to ask for it now I'm grown.

I know that there are plenty of Priesthood holders in my life who would be happy to give me a blessing, but I feel weird asking- mostly thanks to a 'well-meaning' bishop who made me feel guilty during my teenage years because I would ask the men in my ward (usually my friend's dads whom I knew and trusted) because I was taking them away from their families. Now that I'm grown and still single, most of the men I know are married and I feel even worse asking-and even worry that it is inappropriate of me to do so. I don't know who my Home Teachers are and I have NEVER been comfortable asking complete strangers for help, let alone something as personal as a blessing. Mr. Wonderful is a Melchizedek Priesthood holder, but all I will say is he is working on some stuff and leave it at that.

The reason I'm bringing this up-aside from the fact I've been thinking about this forever-is yesterday I received some not so great news. I'm not dying, and I am not sick, and it's not horrible, but it's not great news, either. I don't want to share it here (I am happy to tell you privately), but I am more broken than I had originally thought and hoped, and I am feeling very scared, worried, and very very alone. I want a blessing now, but because of my sillyness I can't bring myself to ask anyone-not even Mr. Wonderful's dad because I'm afraid of being a burden. I know that you can't use the Priesthood on yourself and in order for it to bless you you have it to use it to bless, serve, and help others, but I am so worried about being anyone's burden it keeps me from asking, and then I feel like I am when I do. I know it's ridiculous, but because I only got them for the 'big things' growing up I'm not used to asking for them whenever I feel like I need it-or even when I know I do.

I'm just so glad that Mr. Wonderful has the Priesthood and he will be able to use it in our home-and I am even happier that he will be able to bless and lead our family in a way my dad was not able to. 

répondez s'il vous plaît

When did it become ok to NOT RSVP? Seriously, HUGE pet peeve of mine. I understand there is some confusion about it-I'll admit I'm guilty of not RSVP-ing when I know I won't be there (which I am trying to be better at), but I NEVER don't RSVP and then show up.

As a hostess it makes it hard to plan-especially when I have family in town that I wasn't planning on being here when I sent out invites so now I need add them as well as try and figure out what the final number will REALLY be...ugh. With all the technology we have it's so EASY now to say 'yes' or 'no'-and in a prompt manner. I don't need anything fancy, send me a frickin text for all I care. I don't know why I even bother.

I get people are busy, and things happen, but seriously. I shouldn't have to to baby sit you and bug you about RSVP-ing, we're all adults here. If you want to come say yes-and promptly-did you know Emily Post says you are obligated to respond in 2-3 days after receiving an invite? It's true. I sent these out a month ago and am still waiting for people, so now I get to make those obnoxious/embarrassing calls of "hey, I sent this out a month ago, now we're two days away, I need to give the restaurant a final number, are you coming or not?"

Seriously folks. RSVP to your host/ess and save them the pain of tracking everything down. They've got enough on their plate.

word vomit

I'm pretty good at thinking before I speak...usually.

Unless it involves a certain man and a certain life event that is well on its way but has yet to occur. (No I'm not delusional, I promise. I'm not going to share why for the interwebs though.) When that subject comes up I'm about as capable of keeping my filter intact as well...nothing.

Seriously what is my deal? I can go from decent, loving girl to ungrateful spoiled brat in a matter of nano seconds. The fact that I am well aware of what I'm doing and still incapable of keeping my mouth shut is particularly disturbing. Especially because no matter what anyone says NO ONE deserves having to put up with that. I know it's terrible and unacceptable because not only am I ashamed of my abhorrent behavior I'm absolutely humiliated to admit this. WHY am I admitting this publicly again? 

How do you keep your filter in tact? I'm failing miserably and if Mr Wonderful knew what was good for him he'd simply say 'sayonara' rather than put up with this nonsense.  Because I will be the first to admit it is complete nonsense.

and the winner is...

Thanks to everyone for participating in my Perfectly Posh giveaway...all three of you ;). I knew there was no way I could choose and keep it fair so I entered your names into a Random Line Picker and let the computer choose for me. It picked...

Sonia Maughan!

Congrats Sonia, and I'll be contacting you soon with info to claim your prize. 

Thanks so much for participating everyone! Sonia let me know how you like your Perfectly Posh Oh, Peaches Fabulous Sugar Lip Scrub!

perfectly posh giveaway

About a month ago I was visiting a friend's facebook page and I learned she was going to be trying and reviewing some products for a friend. I'm always down for trying new things so I volunteered too.

Naturally I'm about a month behind because I was wrapping up "Wonderettes" and then I just wanted to be lazy. Monday night I finally decided there's no day like today and made it happen.

First things first. Who is Perfectly Posh? They are a local company that started in 2011. They specialize in body products that do not contain parabens, paraffin, lanolin, soy, gluten, or SLS. Everything is 100% made in the USA, and their products are spa grade without the spa price tag-no one item in their catalog is over $22. All of their employees are independent consultants who own their own businesses.

My rep Melissa was great to work with and fast with the shipping. She sent me a bottle of  Hottie Patottie (gelee body wash in vanilla brown sugar-it reminds me a lot of the Brown Sugar and Fig line from Bath and Body Works), and a facial in a bag-sample sizes of Gender Bender charcoal D-Tox soap, Stripper detox mask, Sugar Fix sugar scrub, and Lemon Rice body slather.

First impressions

When I got the box I tore it open-I was so excited to see the products. When I opened the box I was a little concerned because the scent was REALLY strong-very perfume-y. I pinpointed the source (I think) to the Gender Bender soap, and I was worried. Two reasons: A: because I know a few of you deal with allergies and/or asthma, and this would send you into over drive, and B: with a name like 'Gender Bender' I thought it would have a more generic scent to entice the male populace. Most guys I know want to smell like men-not like their ladies. I'm hoping the fact it was cut off the main bar into a sample size is what made it more potent than what it is normally. It was closing weekend for 'Wonderettes' and I wasn't able to use it immediately, so I set the box aside for later.

Before I get to my second impression I think I should give you a little background about my skin so you understand my expectations going in. I have always had oily skin that is very acne-prone. I have tried pretty much every over the counter, prescription cream, department store, mail-order product there is. None of them worked.

 I was always told I would 'grow out of it', and I hoped this was true, but instead of getting better as I aged, it got worse. A lot worse. In 2005 I started to develop severe cystic (or nodular) acne. (It's gross, so I'll let you search it if you want to.) Not only was it painful, but it severely scarred my face and self-esteem. In 2007 after trying every 'remedy' I was given I went to the dermatologist and he promptly put me on Accutane. I don't care about the naysayers or what anyone says about this drug or how dangerous it is. Yes it can be dangerous, but under a doctor's care it's the best treatment available and it was a godsend for me. For those of you lucky enough to have good skin this confession may seem a bit melodramatic. The best comparison I can make in regards to the damage acne causes is being overweight. You're treated differently, judged, stared at, forced to endure 'helpful' remarks from loved ones (and complete strangers), and feel like less than a human being. The only difference is weight can be lost. There is no 'cure' for acne. Even Accutane is only a treatment and there is always a chance I can develop it again in the future.

I haven't taken a dose of Accutane since September 2007, but there is one side-effect I will probably always deal with. My skin is now terribly sensitive (how's that for a contradiction? Oily skin that's also sensitive?). Although I'm open to trying new products I have to be careful so I don't irritate my skin. Also because of my experience I tend to be skeptical when skin products claim amazing benefits. Aside from Accutane I have never experienced the results a lot of skin products promise, and because of that I go into trying new products as a skeptic because I know there is no such thing as a "miracle cure". However, I do believe there are a few products out there that really do help and give you results when you use them regularly, and I am always looking for more products to add to this list. I also know that one use isn't going to show just what a product can do, but I do believe it will give you a pretty good idea of what you're in for if you choose to commit.

That's all I have to say about that. Now on to why we're here. Flash forward two-ish weeks:

The first step in any facial is to clean your face. The scent on the Gender Bender soap wasn't quite as strong as it had been initially-I'm almost positive now it was so strong before because it had been cut. Once I worked it into a lather it had no scent, and even without SLS it had a nice, rich lather that cleaned my oily OILY skin well. Even my mascara didn't stand a chance (don't get it in your eyes though-it hurt like a mother effer. Ooops). My skin did feel a little tight afterwards, but it wasn't bad at all. *NOTE:* I smelled it again last night after I got home from work-the scent had died significantly after that initial use. I also used it again to wash my face for bed and my skin didn't feel nearly as tight afterwards as it had the night before-maybe my initial tightness was just my skin being weird because I was using a new product.

Next up was the Stripper detox mask. I LOVE this product and will be purchasing some with my next paycheck. The scent is wonderful, light, and just all-around awesome. I can't pinpoint it to a specific scent, but it has vanilla in it, and it's light and perfect. It's thick but not cakey, goes on smoothly and evenly (if you've ever used a clay mask you know the pain in the butt cakey-ness I'm referring to), and you don't need a ton to cover your face. I still have enough left in my little .3 oz sample for one more application. The tingling sensation is a little intense, but being the weirdo I am I enjoyed it. But that's not the best part about this mask. When I put it on I was fully prepared to make no facial expressions for the next 15 minutes. Then the coolest thing happened when I decided to try a little experiment. It was COMPLETELY dry, yet I could still move my face and there was NO flaking or pieces of the mask coming off. It cracked a little, and I looked like the tanorexic Jersey mom, but I would have been a little worried if it hadn't. There's definitely no eating cheetos like Jennifer Garner in 13 Going on 30 with this product.

I'm also in love with this product is because it came off SO easily. In fact I started to doubt if there was clay in it because there was no drama getting it off. There was no scrubbing. No chipping away, no jumping in the shower to use the water pressure to get it off. I just used a washcloth and some warm water. I did have to rinse the wash cloth a few times, but it was definitely the quickest, easiest removal of ANY mask I've ever used. I love it, and I hope I only love it more with continued usage.

Next up was the Sugar Fix sugar scrub. Like the Gender Bender soap it was REALLY perfumy, but unlike the Gender Bender soap it stayed that way, and I didn't like the scent (or the fact it gave me a headache) at all. On the plus side like everything else a little went a long way and it spread really easily. Because the scrub is sugar it dissolved with the water (I don't like ANY sugar scrub for this reason, but they are more gentle than traditional exfoliants so I get why some people love them). It made washing it off a breeze, but I didn't get to exfoliate as long as I wanted because the sugar was dissolved. The scrub also added moisture without feeling oily or greasy which I also really liked. It had a tingle element that I LOVED-only you won't feel it until after you dry your face. It was really cool, and aside from the super strong scent I really liked this product, but I have to be honest-I like my clarisonic brush and Mary Kay Microdermabrasion better for exfoliation.

Lastly was the Lemon Rice body butter. It has lemongrass in it so I liked it right away. It wasn't overly scented, very light, and again a little went a long way. I REALLY like this product. Given my oily skin I was worried about putting a 'body butter' on my face, but it claims to be non-comedogenic, and it wasn't greasy at all-unlike like other body butters I've used. It absorbed quickly into my skin, and didn't feel sticky or oily. The true test for a moisturizer for me is how oily my face is the following morning. Surprisingly it wasn't nearly as bad as I had expected. I'm very particular about the facial moisturizers I use so I won't use it on my face again, but I did love it as an all-over body lotion and will be purchasing this with the Stripper mask.

I've used the body wash  for two mornings and I really like it. A nice lather, didn't need a lot, and just enough scent to keep me smelling pretty all day-it's 3:00 and it's still lingering on my skin, but in no way overpowering.

Over all I was really impressed with the products from Perfectly Posh, and my face looked and felt great. The only major downfall for me was how heavily scented some of their products are. I would much rather use something that isn't fragrant enough versus something that's TOO fragrant.

Ok, now for the fun part. The giveaway. The contest will go until next Wednesday August 22. I'll let my computer randomly draw a winner and I'll announce the winner here on Friday August 24. Here's how you enter-and you have to complete ALL steps for an entry, and one entry per person please.

-Go to Melissa's Perfectly Posh Facebook page and 'like' it. (I liked her almost a month ago and I've had maybe three updates-your friends will spam you more than she does.)
-Visit her website and familiarize yourself with all the products Perfectly Posh has to offer, and pick your favorite.
-Come back here and tell me in the comments what product you would like to try if you win! If you don't have a blogger account go to MY Facebook page and comment on the post that links you here.

Good luck!

marvelous wonderettes by the numbers

Weeks of rehearsing: 6

Songs learned: 28

Lines memorized: 120

"That's the Queen of your dreams!" cue lines: 4

Performances: 8

Full costume/hair/makeup changes: 2

Inches of hair teasing done a night: 2-3

Inches that will need to be cut off hair thanks to teasing: at least 3

Years we time warped: 10

Times we embarrassed Mr. Lee: at least two a night

Nights in the Bowery: 3

Average temperature during performance: 90

Pounds lost: 8

Average hours of sleep a night: 5

Friends who supported us: dozens

Bouquets received: 3

Hugs given: dozens

Bites from my half-eaten sandwiches I got Stephanie to take: 2 

Thank you cards made: 10

Weeks I'll be vacuuming up glitter from the cast gifts: 6

Weeks of vocal rest: 4

Memories made: too many to count 

Thank you to everyone who came out to support us. This was such a fun show-hard, but fun. I will miss it terribly, but I'm ready to have my life back and to enjoy the rest of my summer!

choke

Picture if you will a cute brunette with a voice like an angel (her words, not mine-but you bet I won't let her forget it cause it makes me so happy!).

One bright and sunny October day she ventured down to a little building called the Delta Center (at least that's what it was called then-you might recognize it now as the ESA.) to sing a song. Not just any song, mind you. It was an audition to sing the National Anthem for our local team, the Utah Jazz (back when they didn't suck.). She was nervous, but ready. Then she stood on her red 'X' in the middle of the arena floor and began to sing to the crowd. It was awesome. Tone-perfect. Pitch-spot on. Projection-impeccable. She filled with pride as the swells of her music filled the arena. Then the unthinkable happened. "O'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly gleaming---" then nothing. Silence. Her mind had drawn a complete blank. The one song she had known pretty much her entire life flew right out of her head. Even with the helpful calls of the next line from the other auditioners it was done. She couldn't get out of there fast enough-and proved it by nearly falling flat on her face running up the stairs to get the hell out of there.

Flash forward to the following year. She had been thinking about this day almost daily since the previous year, convinced that she must redeem herself and prove that the previous year was a fluke. So as she drove to the Delta Center she was nervous-worrying all the while that maybe this wasn't the best idea and that she should go across the street to the Gateway and see a movie instead. But she was determined. She HAD to show herself that she could do this-she had been to dozens of auditions-this one wasn't any different and she was going to RULE. Fortunately the auditions had been moved from the arena to a much smaller conference room. It was full, but not packed. As she took her seat on the back row waiting for her number to be called she could feel the paranoia coming back. As she fought off the urge to run she reminded herself she had this, she had been practicing all week in preparation, and she was READY. Finally it was her turn. She didn't start as confidently this time as she had the last, but it wasn't horrible. She started to relax and get into singing the song. Then it happened again. "O'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly gleaming---" then nothing. Again? Really? Once again she thanked the judges (and quietly apologized for wasting their time) and left.

Afterwards she decided the two botched attempts was a sign she should never sing the National Anthem in public again. And she hasn't. For almost seven years she has not sung the National Anthem as a soloist.

Well folks, all of that is about to change. In just over three hours this cute little brunette is about to tempt fate again. I've been trying to keep my cool, but I'm not going to lie. I'm kind-of (ok, REALLY) nervous. Will I choke yet again and live up to the legacy I've created for myself? Or will I FINALLY get rid of my performer's block and do this dang song justice? We'll all know soon enough...

**UPDATE** I was calm, cool, collected, and  I remembered all the words-to be honest--I nailed it. I will be singing the National Anthem not once, at least twice, possibly three times during the Babe Ruth Little League World Series in August. (And after the crappy crap-tastic show I had last night I needed a little good news.)

everyone is born good

Last night at the show my dear, wonderful, darling Stephanie and I were talking. The Marvelous Wonderettes is at the Midvale amphitheater, and although it's a lovely venue like anywhere else it gets it's share of turd-heads. Well, we were talking about four adorable boys who looked like turd-heads but turned out to be the sweetest (and most helpful) boys around. It was then that Steph told me that all people are born good, they have to learn to be bad, and shared a great story.

Stephanie has a friend. Her name is Peggy. Her son's name is Jack. And Jack read a story about...wait. I'll just cut and paste Peggy's story-she tells it better than I ever could:

"Jack came home from school a few weeks ago talking about a book he'd read about a girl in Florida who raised enough money to buy bullet proof resistant vests for all of the K9 dogs in the state. He thought this was awesome and wanted me to call our friend who works for a neighboring police department to find out if their dog needs a vest and if so, he wants to sell sno-cones in front of our house to raise money. I was so touched that he would want to do that! He said, "They keep us safe, Mom. So we need to keep them safe too!" Then he decided that he would call his endeavor "Sno-Cones for Safety." Who is this kid? Love him! So we contacted our friend who got permission from the Chief and we are going to do this! The dog DOES have a vest, but they can always use money for training, food, etc. so we're going forward. If you would like to make a donation to Jack's "Sno-Cones for Safety" campaign email me your info at jackjacksmom@gmail.com and I'll tell you how you can donate if you're too far away to stop by for a sno cone. So every Thursday (Thoughtful Thursday), we'll be selling Sno Cones to raise money for Delta, their K9."

Seriously, how great is this sweet little boy? Of course I immediately went to her donate icon and donated $5.00. How can you say no? These K-9's work just as hard as their human partners, (and become members of their partners families) so they should be kept safe too!

Please go to Peggy's blog, read the story, and if you have a heart donate to this sweet boy's worthwhile cause. And then spread the word. Every little bit helps-let's help Jack raise more than his $300 goal!! 

til death do us part-or just til i'm bored?

I am a firm believer in marriage. I believe that if you choose to make a commitment to one person (civilly or eternally), you are choosing to make it work, no matter what, no matter how much harder it is than you thought. No matter what. It infuriates me when people talk about how  they view their marriages as disposable, and the second they are bored or the flame burns out it's done for them and they have no problems walking away. When I hear them say this I am equally saddened and enraged. With rare few exceptions there is NOTHING you can't work out and no flame that can be re-kindled as long as both parties are willing to work towards it.

I know a few of you who are divorced. I also know a few people who are still married who shouldn't be. With that being said I understand you can't save a marriage on your own, and there are some things that are deal breakers. I am not saying that all people who are divorced didn't do everything they could before choosing that path. I understand fully that you can't fix something if both people aren't equally committed to it, or things like abuse, adultery, or addiction sometimes make it impossible-and even dangerous-to stay. I am not talking about you. I am talking about the people who care so little about their marriage they are willing to throw in the towel before they've even begun the fight and see if there's anything WORTH saving, or simply because they're bored. 

 Spare me the condescending 'well you're not married so you don't know' crap. Yes, I'm not married. But Mr. Wonderful and I have been together five years. Before that I was with Superman Lover for five years too. I am no stranger to a committed long term relationship, and as far as I'm concerned the only thing that makes Mr. Wonderful and I any different from any other married couple is a piece of paper and the fact we don't live under the same roof. We have a good relationship, but it is far from perfect. We have been together long enough we have seen the ugly truths most people don't see until after they're married. We fight, and we've butted heads many times on how we'll raise our kids, where we'll live, how we'll spend our money, and much more. There have been numerous occasions that I have asked myself why the hell I'm with this man. I'm sure he has thought the same about me. The flame has burned both white hot and flickered down to almost nothing, but at the end of the day he is my partner. We will be with each other the rest of our lives and into the Eternities together. As crazy as we make each other, we love each other and want what we have to work-we are committed to making it work.

I can still remember how I felt the first time he kissed me all those years ago. I can still remember the 'newlywed' stage in our relationship and how excited I still am to see him after work. It's all those times that remind me of why I'm still here and why I want to stay. I just don't understand why some people have no problem walking away-especially after they've stood before each other, their families and loved ones, and GOD and promised to everyone they would love, honor, and cherish in good times and bad, in sickness and health, yadda yadda yadda, and then built lives, homes, started families with each other, just to throw it away because it got too hard and you don't want to try anymore. I guess if you say you're bored or done those void everything, yes?

I'm sorry if I offended anyone, that was NOT my intent. I'm just so sick of people who don't take their marriages seriously and view them on the same level as their garbage.

Oy. I'll get off my soap box now.

sometimes you just wanna scream

I'm LDS (Mormon). Am I as good/ or as active a Member as I need to be? Nope. I have my vices like everyone else, and I am constantly falling flat on my face. I understand that us 'Mormons' are a strange people-hell I was RAISED Mormon and I still think we're a bunch of weirdos. What I don't understand how people can be so heartless, disrespectful, and cruel. Working where I do I'm in the minority (for some reason Members shy away from foodservice-maybe it's the booze), and most time it's not a problem-just some occasional ignorance. Sometimes I run into people who are just jerks. It infuriates me to have to sit and listen to people poke fun and say what I don't believe isn't true. Or how they take delight in tormenting the missionaries that have been sent to them by people they know. I get the Church isn't for everyone, and I get that there are people who don't want the Gospel in their lives. It makes me sad, but that's the great thing about agency; we all have the choice to accept or reject the Gospel, and my only job is to respect their choice and keep loving them. Apparently some people struggle with that more than I do...

Is it really that hard to be NICE and RESPECTFUL of what someone else believes? I'm not Baptist or Jehovah's Witness, but I would NEVER be mean or disrespectful towards someone who loves their beliefs enough that they want to approach a complete stranger and share them.

Because I was at my desk and I have to maintain a level of professionalism and the fact I'm not very good at rational thought where ignorant people are concerned there wasn't much I could do, but I did do my best to defend my beliefs. I honestly have never had this problem. Most people are respectful towards me and what I believe and I've never wanted to punch someone in the face like I did my co-worker. 

I know I could have done something more, but I don't know what. Now I just feel like a turd because I sat there like a dope.

excuse me, but that's my seat

One of the reasons I love Facebook is it's pretty much the ultimate form of people-watching. I find it especially fascinating to see what REALLY pushes people's buttons. Sometimes I feel the fire in my belly flare when someone says something against things I'm passionate about, and other times I feel a kinship and an affirmation of why I'm friends with someone I see eye-to-eye with. Usually I find myself laughing at how fired up most people get about the LAMEST things. Today's controversy? Assigned seating in movie theaters. No joke. Had a friend post this as her status this morning:

"Assigned seats in movie theaters?! No. That is not going to work for me." 

Some of the comments that followed were hilarious-and surprisingly passionate for such a simple subject. I even heard someone was un-friended due to their views on the matter.

My first thought was "Really? I think it's a fantastic idea." 

Now before any of you get your knickers in a twist and start sending me hate mail for my opinion let me paint you a picture: 

It's circa 2005. You have been waiting with baited breath to see the midnight showing of Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith (don't judge me-I liked Episode 2 and 3) since the moment your friend got the tickets on pre-sale weeks ago. You rush home from work to gather the things you'll need to keep yourself busy for the next five hours while you wait in line. (No, we didn't camp out. We're hard core, but not THAT hard core.) Anyway, you get to the Jordan Commons around 7:30 or so and the line on the North Pavilion is already forming in the maze of dividers, but you can still see the doors so you're not worried. You spend the evening playing games and showing off your newly-acquired engagement ring (that may or may not be the reason this movie holds a spot in my heart-I got engaged that night before getting in line). Excitement starts to build around 10 o'clock because you know in just 30 minutes the doors will open and you're in primo line placement for a decent, if not AWESOME seat. 

Then at 10:45 it happens. The 3-4 people you have been making pleasantries with all evening let FIFTEEN people join their group ahead of you. No biggie, it's only 15 seats. Your little group of six still has a hope of sitting together and avoiding the dreaded first five rows. Eleven o'clock finally arrives and it's time to go in. There's a bum-rush once you got past the doormen, but you're finally inside. 

What do you see upon entering the theater? Those 15+ people who cut in front of you in line are now spreading blankets, jackets, purses, and anything else they can use to 'reserve' the primo rows in the center of the theater for heaven knows how many MORE people.
Needless to say you are pissed. You'd been waiting in line since 7, you'd played by the rules, and these jerk-faces were going to come in at the eleventh-hour (literally) and scoop up all the good seats? Well, folks, it happened. If I remember correctly our group ended up being split, and Superman Lover and I were banned to the back corner, fuming all the while. 

This was not the first time this would happen to me. I remember it happening for viewings of Harry Potter 3, 4, and 5, Spiderman 3, Superman Returns, and most of the X-Men movies.  To say it jaded me towards movie-going was an understatement. When Larry H. Miller's theaters started assigned seating I was all for it and drove the ten extra minutes it took to go there as the Jordan Landing right by my house had not yet jumped on the bandwagon. 

When Mr. Wonderful and I started dating he and I could never see movies together opening weekend because I hated waiting in line and being herded like cattle only to be jipped once I got inside, and for some reason he loved being an enforcer and keeping the bum-rushers at bay. Plus he prefers the Jordan Landing over LHM's theaters-but that is a blog for another day.

The Landing has since implemented reserved seating on their 'blockbuster' movies, and after a little resistance Mr. Wonderful now loves that we don't have to be to the theater hours in advance to fight for mediocre seats. I love it because I'm not having to have my personal bubble violated being herded like cattle or waiting in line for nothing. 

What say you? Yay or nay on reserved seating? 

overwhelmed

Have any of you had an experience that although you're excited to be having you reach a point where you stop and think to yourself

"What the hell did I get myself into? I'm an IDIOT!"

Yeah, so there right about now.

busy pants

I'm always a little taken aback when people tell me I keep myself busy. I'm not like Riss or Meg and have to schedule my time out months in advance *wink wink*. I'm usually available for last-minute things, and my schedule is relatively open, but after a little reflection I realized I am a pretty busy girl-just in different ways:

-I helped Sparky coordinate (well I made food platters) coronation for one of the MANY things he's involved in.
-I attended my first Pride this weekend. It was fun to have a new experience and to see so many of my friends!
-Since my friends are so great at supporting me I've been trying to support them more, too! (Hedwig, Chicago, Seussical, and Pirates! Of Penzance?, and a stop by the Canyon Inn to catch Channel Z are next on the list)
-A quick (and I mean quick) flight to St George for my Lexi bug's first birthday, then right back home that night so I could do a show the next day.
-Trying to keep going to tap, but rehearsals have taken over there, too...
-Mr Wonderful is still working swing shift (YUCK), so we try and see each other as much as we can during the week-usually involves odd hours and runs to the gas station for a cherry coke and twenty minutes to fill each other in on our days. We try to make Saturdays our day, but sometimes my business gets in the way...
-I have been cast in THREE shows in the last six months, and they have all been pretty substantial roles-oh, you know about Spitfire, the massive undertaking that was Blithe Spirit, but not the third? That is because I was just cast as Missy in the 'Marvelous Wonderettes' this last weekend with my old friends Meg and Melody, and new friend Paige. We started rehearsals yesterday, we totally rock, I love the pro team, the script is so cute and funny, and it's lots of good old school 'bubble gum' music from the 1950's and 1960's that I am having a BALL learning. We open in July, and I am SO EXCITED to finally (Oh, I didn't tell you I've auditioned for this show every time I've seen a posting for it and never been cast until now? Well I have.) be a part of this show. Stay tuned-details to follow!

Cindy Lou (Melody), Missy (me), Suzie (Meg), and Betty Jean (Paige)

So all of this coupled with the fact Mr Wonderful has been cleaning my kitchen lately more than I care to admit I guess I DO keep myself pretty busy after all...

love, love, love

Sometimes you forget just how blessed you are and it takes a monumental pile of crap to remind you that it's not as bad as you think. The last few weeks have been a monumental pile of crap and today I am overwhelmed with love for a few people. So much so I have to put it out there lest I continue to feel ungrateful for not putting it out there.

I know I say it all the time, but Mr. Wonderful more than earns his blog name. I don't know how he does it, but he balances my random craziness with his steady, even keel. He reminds me that life doesn't always need to be taken so seriously, that it's ok to act like a little kid now and then, and that his taste in things isn't as bad as I think. He is caring and considerate and knows when to step up and pick up the slack. He does so quietly without looking for recognition. He does it merely because he loves me. He supports my passions-even when I know going to the theatre isn't his favorite thing. He will humor me when I volunteer us to pose for friends who are trying to build their photography portfolios. He is quick to recognize what I need and be that man for me-the hands to lift me up, the shoulder to cry on, or the person who sits quietly next to me while I vent. Is our relationship perfect? No. But he is perfect for me and I am so grateful for him. I thank my lucky stars for whatever I did that made HF see fit to send him to me by making our paths cross again. He is such a wonderful man, and I am so happy I get to call him mine.

I don't know how I lived 26 years without Sparky in my life. He is the yin to my yang, the Blanche to my Rose, the Carrie to my Charlotte. Meeting him was truly kismet and I thank my lucky stars I can call him one of my very best friends. He is the person who not only convinced me to think outside the box and audition for a straight play instead of my standard musical, but also that I could do it. We are so alike it's almost scary, and he is my go-to person for all things 'chicky'-much to Mr. Wonderful's relief. We can go on a week-long vacation together and come out the back side still loving each other as much as we did when we left, we talk about anything and everything, we aren't afraid to call each other on our respective crap, and even if we go months without talking (it's happened), we pick up right where we left off like nothing has changed.

Almost two years ago I met Stephen. We've spent these two years as acquaintances, following each other on Facebook and our blogs, but I have been so blessed in getting to know him better after playing opposite him for these last few months. Stephen is handsome and kind, caring, supportive and witty, extremely talented, eloquent and uber smart (I frequently feel inferior to his knowledge), and funny as hell. I figured he was, being as he's in an improv troupe and all, but WOW. All I do is laugh when he's around. He has a soft side he tries so hard to hide with cynicism, but once you can get past that and see the real Stephen there is so much more to him. He has helped me so much in the past 8 weeks-he has been my cheerleader, my support, a great ego-booster, and above all my friend. I am SO grateful for him and the fact that I can now call him a friend instead of just an acquaintance.

Around the same time I met Stephen I met Justina. She is the sweetest, kindest, most genuine person I know. She will quite literally drop everything she is doing, drive out to the Magna library, and run lines with you for an hour even if you haven't seen her in ages merely because you needed her to. She is so supportive (and has come to see Blithe two-or is it three? times), funny, talented, and so full of Christ-like love for everyone. I'm sure there's not a mean or hateful bone in her body, I admire her immensely, and wish I was more like her. I just love her guts.

Theatre families are an interesting dynamic. Sometimes you hate them, and sometimes you really hit it off with them. My cast mates in 'Blithe' have made this one of the best theatre experiences I've ever had. Yes it's been hard, stressful, and there were times I didn't think I would be ready in time. But we were, and it has been amazing working with so many wonderful people. As ready as I am to move onto the next adventure I am sad for this weekend and knowing I won't be able to see these wonderful people as regularly as I am now.

When I met Karalee I was a 20-something and she was fresh out of High School. Now I'm a 30-something and she's fresh out of cosmetology school with a sweeter than sweet husband. I am so grateful that our paths crossed again, not only because she does my hair for me but also because I genuinely look forward to seeing her. I love talking to her and she is another one of those people I can go forever without seeing and we still manage to pick up where we left off. Kar is kind and compassionate, patient, and long-suffering. In short I wish I was more like her.

The list goes on and on, and I hate making public declarations like this because I always worry someone will be hurt because I haven't mentioned them. If you're reading this rest assured I am grateful for you. These are just the people who have been on my mind the most lately and I couldn't NOT say something about them. (And thanks for letting me steal photos off your Facebook pages everyone.) :)