choke

Picture if you will a cute brunette with a voice like an angel (her words, not mine-but you bet I won't let her forget it cause it makes me so happy!).

One bright and sunny October day she ventured down to a little building called the Delta Center (at least that's what it was called then-you might recognize it now as the ESA.) to sing a song. Not just any song, mind you. It was an audition to sing the National Anthem for our local team, the Utah Jazz (back when they didn't suck.). She was nervous, but ready. Then she stood on her red 'X' in the middle of the arena floor and began to sing to the crowd. It was awesome. Tone-perfect. Pitch-spot on. Projection-impeccable. She filled with pride as the swells of her music filled the arena. Then the unthinkable happened. "O'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly gleaming---" then nothing. Silence. Her mind had drawn a complete blank. The one song she had known pretty much her entire life flew right out of her head. Even with the helpful calls of the next line from the other auditioners it was done. She couldn't get out of there fast enough-and proved it by nearly falling flat on her face running up the stairs to get the hell out of there.

Flash forward to the following year. She had been thinking about this day almost daily since the previous year, convinced that she must redeem herself and prove that the previous year was a fluke. So as she drove to the Delta Center she was nervous-worrying all the while that maybe this wasn't the best idea and that she should go across the street to the Gateway and see a movie instead. But she was determined. She HAD to show herself that she could do this-she had been to dozens of auditions-this one wasn't any different and she was going to RULE. Fortunately the auditions had been moved from the arena to a much smaller conference room. It was full, but not packed. As she took her seat on the back row waiting for her number to be called she could feel the paranoia coming back. As she fought off the urge to run she reminded herself she had this, she had been practicing all week in preparation, and she was READY. Finally it was her turn. She didn't start as confidently this time as she had the last, but it wasn't horrible. She started to relax and get into singing the song. Then it happened again. "O'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly gleaming---" then nothing. Again? Really? Once again she thanked the judges (and quietly apologized for wasting their time) and left.

Afterwards she decided the two botched attempts was a sign she should never sing the National Anthem in public again. And she hasn't. For almost seven years she has not sung the National Anthem as a soloist.

Well folks, all of that is about to change. In just over three hours this cute little brunette is about to tempt fate again. I've been trying to keep my cool, but I'm not going to lie. I'm kind-of (ok, REALLY) nervous. Will I choke yet again and live up to the legacy I've created for myself? Or will I FINALLY get rid of my performer's block and do this dang song justice? We'll all know soon enough...

**UPDATE** I was calm, cool, collected, and  I remembered all the words-to be honest--I nailed it. I will be singing the National Anthem not once, at least twice, possibly three times during the Babe Ruth Little League World Series in August. (And after the crappy crap-tastic show I had last night I needed a little good news.)

mili vanilli ain't got nothin on me

I have a confession to make.

I haven't been as good at learning the music in my current show. (Shameless plug: All Shook Up! opens THIS Friday! Click here for details.) Now in my defense I know MOST of the harmonies, MOST of the words, and I know when I'm supposed to sing said most words...but between blink-and-you'll-miss-it music rehearsals, an UNHEARD OF super strong alto section that ROCKS, but sucks for me, the struggling second-read: harmonizing therefore more difficult soprano, ZERO spare time, and no access to a piano to try and pick out my notes in said zero spare time I had just been fudging it-or what us thespians like to call-fudging it. This is the worst prepared I have ever been, but aside from being more solid on the words there's not a whole lot I can do on notes---unless I develop perfect pitch magically overnight. I HAD just planned to continue fudging it.

Last night that all changed. My dear, sweet bosom friend informed me I will be wearing a microphone for a bulk of the show. To which my reply was "you know I'm just in the chorus, right?" Apparently I have one of the better voices in the cast (REALLY? Like I didn't know that already. I kid, I KID!) and they have spares, so we're going to help add volume to the choral numbers...I haven't been mic-ed in a show since 2008...oi. Oh, and remember said notes I know most of the time? Well I've been known to go mute on the ones I'm unsure of as to not be the sore thumb. Yeah, that's pretty much impossible now...

So wish me luck as I now spend the next four days cramming more music into my already over-filled, over-worked, and over-tired brain.

On the plus side you now have an even BETTER reason to come see the show. It's called your friend Miss Kristen, the mic-ed train wreck. ;)

day twenty-eight

My favorite movie? That's a loaded question. I worked at a movie theater from the summer I graduated High School until 2001, and then at Hollywood Video until 2006. So I've seen a lot of movies. Some good, some bad, some excellent. Whenever anyone asks me what my favorite movie is one of these titles pop into my head:

Mr. Holland's Opus. This movie has been my favorite for as long as I can remember. I was a band student and I'm lucky enough to have had my own Mr. Holland-this is probably why I love this movie so much.
BUT-if you haven't seen it. GO. WATCH IT. It is probably one of the most moving stories I've ever seen. Makes you wonder how many lives you've impacted just by being YOU.

Moulin Rouge. I wasn't too interested in it the first time I saw a trailer, but then I went to see it. Oh. My. Word.
The music, the colors, the story, the passion. Wow. I. love. this. movie. If you enjoy musical theater, a good love story, Baz Luhrmann (good rule of thumb-if you didn't like Romeo+Juliet or Strictly Ballroom you won't like this one), retoolings of favorite pop culture songs, and an evil maharajah this movie is for you. Plus you can't go wrong with Nicole Kidman and the Singing Jedi.

day eleven-fifteen

So I fully admit that I'm a slacker...but I have a good excuse. I have been in St. George visiting my awesome family the last few days and honestly...keeping up with the blog was the least of my worries. But here I am, picking up where I left off. I give you days eleven through fifteen for your reading enjoyment:

DAY 11:

My makeup bag. To be honest I have FOUR of these babies-but it's because I do theatre and the others are filled with theatre make-up. This is my main bag-the one that I count on every day to make me pretty. :) I wish I could be one of those women who can go without makeup, but being as I was "one of the lucky ones" who suffered from severe acne during my adolescent and into my adult years I have a hard time going anywhere without it on because I know what my skin looks like underneath.

Mattifier, Powder foundation, blush, eyeshadow primer, eyeshadow, liner, mascara, eyelash curler, concealer, lip balm, stain, and gloss, and bobby pins.

 DAY 12:

I don't have any skyline shots of my lovely SLC valley so I relied on Google:

Salt Lake really is beautiful-when there's no inversion. Or snow. Or snow AND inversion...

DAY 13:
 I am a music girl-there's not much I don't like, and my taste changes all the time. Except three artists are always in my top five:

 Brad Paisley. I have loved Brad since I first heard "The fishing song" and I still love him today. I try to see him every time he comes in concert. He is just such a talented songwriter and guitar player. Plus I'll admit, I have a little bit of a crush on him. He is a man's man yet I just love that on almost every album he writes a song for his wife--what girl WOULDN'T love that!

My favorite band is a toss-up between Maroon 5 and Bowling For Soup. They are on opposite ends of the music spectrum-one is a brooding, sexy as hell band with local ties (I used to know James Valentine's sister)- the other is a Texas-bred hometown boy band who doesn't take themselves at all seriously.

Not to mention the fact they wrote the theme song as well as having recurring cameos on one of my favorite shows: Phineas and Ferb.

DAY 14:

I watch a lot of shows on TV, but recently there are two I watch religiously:

Glee. No self-respecting choir nerd and theatre geek can honestly say they don't like glee.
The music is great, and after some hiccup-filled story lines in the beginning of season 2 they've really hit their stride again. I just love this show, and it makes my day. :)

Being Human. Mr. Wonderful got me hooked on this show. I was skeptical about the US re-tooling after watching the BBC version and HATING it. But I was pleasantly surprised. You are rooting for these "monster" characters trying to be well...human. The season is over, but I'm there once it starts again!

DAY 15:

I never leave the house without my phone and keys. I feel naked without either...



day eight

This is the song I have running through my head today:

down with the sickness

So I have been sick. For a LONG TIME. Two weeks to be specific. I'm usually a pretty healthy person and I get sick MAYBE once a year, so the fact I've already been sick twice in as many months is a new (and obnoxious) trend. I'm pretty sure I can attribute this development to the petri dish otherwise known as community theater...Merry Christmas to me!


Normally I just wait it out but my patience is running VERY thin this time. After a week of my cough not letting up I went to the Dr. It turned out to be...drum roll please...BRONCHITIS. I've never had anything more serious than a cold and I've got bronchitis? (Turns out I may be genetically predispositioned since my dad gets it all the time...ugh) Normally it wouldn't be such a big deal except I have a cough from hell that has rendered me songless.
I never realized how much I needed singing in my life until I couldn't do it anymore. I have been quite the grouch as of late because I have no outlet. Everything I have tried helps, but it just isn't the same. I am now on day 16 of no song. The cough is letting up, and it can't come any faster. Aside from having no outlet I'm tired of being treated like the social leper-especially since the inversion has only made things worse. People don't care that you're under a doctor's care, on a monster dose of antibiotics, Codeine cough syrup, a daytime cough prescription, and exercising proper hygeine. All they see is you're contaminated, STAY HOME!! As much as I would like to, that's pretty much impossible.
Here's hoping the inversion and my cough clear out post haste. This sucks.

What's your outlet and how would you manage if it was abruptly taken away from you?

10 things I hate about you...

Ok, not really. I just couldn't come up with a more clever title.

I was tagged through proxy to list ten things that make me happy. Since I have been quite the Debbie Downer as of late it will benefit me I think to list things that make me happy. In an effort to stretch myself I’m going to forgo the “Thanksgiving Table” happies-Gospel, family, friends, and loved ones- as my friend Emmalee called it and list some little known (and not so little known things that make me happy.) So here they are in no particular order:

<!--[if !supportLists]-->1. <!--[endif]-->Most Wonderful Man (MWM): Ok, so he’s my number one, but I promise the rest will be in NPO. It’s funny how when you lose something so wonderful you’re convinced you’ll never find anything that compares to that wonderful again. Then you do. MWM is that wonderful I never thought I would have again. He makes me happy every single day. He is everything I want, could hope for, or need, and he compliments my crazy personality so well. He is my best friend and is always so supportive of everything I do-no matter how hair brained or crazy he thinks it is. He is patient with my moodiness and is always trying to make me happy. Just seeing him smile at my craziness is enough to make any terrible day bearable. I definitely don’t deserve him but I sure am happy he chose me!!

<!--[if !supportLists]-->2. <!--[endif]-->Music: Music is the essence of my being. Just being able to listen to it, make it, feel it is enough to make ANYONE happy. My musicals make me ESPECIALLY happy-because where else can you break into song and not only everyone knows the words, but it has the power to make two people fall in love in a matter of minutes? Now that’s something happy. Being able to know music, appreciate music, and most importantly SING music makes me the happiest girl in the world.

<!--[if !supportLists]-->3. <!--[endif]-->Food: Not only does this have the ability to sustain life, but it brings people together and makes them happy. Even when the food is terrible you can still manage to laugh about it and have a good time. What else can do that? Honestly. The only thing that makes me happier than eating food is making food for the people I love and watching it make them happy in turn. I am so happy that my mother taught us how to cook and not to be afraid trying new things. Because of that I love searching for new recipes, making menus, going shopping, and trying new things. Plus it doesn’t hurt I’m pretty dang good at it if I do say so myself. :)

<!--[if !supportLists]-->4. <!--[endif]-->Being on stage: I have very few regrets, and most of those have stemmed from denying myself new opportunities. Being on stage at every opportunity is one of them. I didn’t discover my love for the spotlight until I was a Senior in High School and 90% of my schedule was filled with music and drama classes. It doesn’t matter if I’m singing in a choir, helping behind the scenes, or acting- I’m usually my happiest on stage. I don’t have big dreams of becoming a star, but what a wonderful outlet! Where else do you have the opportunity to do things you wouldn’t normally do-make out with a complete stranger, strip, or fight over a man (all of which I’ve done, BTW), and not feel the least bit guilty about it? Being on stage is such a great outlet for me, and although it was late in coming I sure am happy I found it.

<!--[if !supportLists]-->5. <!--[endif]-->Choice reality shows: Before you judge me let me say that I HATE the dog eat dog elimination reality shows. I’m into the feel good ones that chronicle more than stalk. I’m such a chick. I LOVE Say Yes to the Dress, Cake Boss, Man vs. Food, Dirty Jobs, Deadliest Catch, Little People, Big World, all the “feel good” reality shows that don’t make you want to throw things at the tv. Except Mary on Cake Boss. She’s a royal bitch, that one.

<!--[if !supportLists]-->6. <!--[endif]-->A car that works: This is a blessing just as much as something that makes me happy. I’ve had a car that wasn’t reliable so now I have one that is I appreciate it that much more. Being able to get where you need to be when you need to be there, and not having to count on anyone else to get you there is enough to make anyone happy. :)

<!--[if !supportLists]-->7. <!--[endif]-->Seattle, WA: It’s funny how a place that I’ve only been twice in my life can make me so happy-especially a place that rains 50 weeks a year. There’s just something about the atmosphere, the community, and the Farmer’s Market that calls to me. It’s enough to make me over look the rain. I love that place.

<!--[if !supportLists]-->8. <!--[endif]-->Disneyland: For those of you who know me well you know that I couldn’t write one of these and NOT include Disneyland! People make fun of me because I have never had the desire to travel abroad. I had the option of taking a Mexican cruise or going to Disneyland. I chose Disneyland. No joke. Aside from when I’m with Most Wonderful Man I’m happiest when I’m here. Many a memory has been made here and I can’t get enough of all the fun little details that are in the park-hidden Mickeys, Club 33, and the attention to detail in general just makes me happy. We want the Redhead! We want the Redhead!

<!--[if !supportLists]-->9. <!--[endif]-->Blog-Stalking: Since I put so much effort into mine and hope that people will read it, I HAVE to do the same for others. I typically only read the blogs of people I know-and let’s be honest-if I happen to stumble across a blog from someone I knew in High School, you BET I’m reading it. If this makes me crazy, oh well. I just love to read various blogs from friends and family. I also love reading the different writing styles that are unique to each author. Keeping in touch with loved ones is certainly enough to make ANYONE happy.

<!--[if !supportLists]-->10. <!--[endif]-->Blogging: Believe it or not I really do enjoy keeping you all posted-plus let’s face it-we’re all a little narcissist and LOVE the opportunity to talk about ourselves and not be judged as a result.

I have never been the best at journal-keeping-this fact made obvious by my three-month break between posts-but what a great way to post standpoints, feelings, as well as the standard here’s what’s happening in my boring life post. Awesome. Simply awesome.

Well this is my list. I hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I’m stealing yet another idea from Emmalee and will be posting a Confessional. Hopefully every week,but we all know that’s not going to happen. Peace out.