whoops!

Because I suck, and thought 30 cards would be PLENTY. (Yeah, it wasn't even close). This is my first year doing this for two so I get a pass, right?

Please accept this electronic card along with our wishes for a joyous holiday season and a safe, and Happy New Year!!

weird

WARNING: I say 'weird' a lot in this post. Like A LOT. And there may or may not be a monster photo dump at the end as well. Consider yourselves warned.

I’m still working on ‘the post’. It will be at least another 3-4 weeks before we have our photos and video, and honestly once I got my dress on I only remember maybe 30 minutes of the whole night. It's not even a continuous 30 minutes at that-more like random flashes so I’m hoping the pictures and video will help jar my memory. Until then you get this other thing I’ve been mulling over since the wedding.

As of today Mr. Wonderful and I have been married for two whole weeks. The thing I get asked the most is “how’s married life?” My reply? Weird. Married life is a lot of things-but weird tops the list for me. Now don’t get me wrong. I am not unhappy or complaining. I love Mr. Wonderful more than anything and I am so happy he chose me to share this adventure with, but it’s still weird. A good weird, but weird nonetheless.

It’s weird to be Kristen Newman…Mrs. Newman…Sister Newman. It’s weird that the Seinfeld reference I thought was so funny when we first met (‘Hello, Newman’) is now one of the most annoying things ever. It’s weird to know I’m done looking for my Eternal Companion-Mr Wonderful is my guy, forever and ever. It’s weird to have him come home and snuggle up next to me every night rather than call me on his way home from work as I’m falling asleep. It’s weird to be budgeting money and sharing the expenses with him after I’ve been doing it by myself for so long. It’s weird learning how to sleep on a side vs the middle of the bed (the act of ‘star fishing’ makes sharing a bed with ANYONE problematic). Although he had seen me not looking pretty before the wedding it’s weird for him to see me with the sleep in my eyes, morning breath, grumpy ‘just leave me alone and let me wake up in peace’ demeanor, and bangs that stick straight up (no joke) when I very first wake up--every single day. It’s weird living with someone after ten years of being alone and getting used to each other’s quirks. It’s weird that all it took was a 20 minute ceremony for sex to be ok (and encouraged) after 33 years of waiting. It’s weird that I have a whole new family that loves and accepts me and it’s weird how I instantly loved them back. It’s weird to go grocery shopping for two and to make food and know that half to two-thirds of it is not going to go bad before it gets eaten. It’s weird to be buying milk twice a week. It’s weird to not be stressed all the time about dating, getting engaged, or planning a wedding and constantly being on the brink of a melt-down. It’s weird how easily we transitioned from ‘dating’ to ‘married’-especially Mr. Wonderful. He is like a duck in water. It really has been an awesome thing to watch, marriage totally suits him.  It’s weird how jarring it is to go from planning a wedding to being married and how quickly everyone’s lives go back to normal after you’ve been running at Mach speeds for so long (this change happens quite literally overnight). It’s weird that it’s not all about me and my wants and needs anymore; and it’s weird to constantly remind myself ‘I’ is now an ‘us’, and there is another person to consider when I make decisions because they don’t just affect me anymore. There’s an us here now.

So yes, being married is weird. But it’s also pretty fantastic. Although all the things I mentioned are weird, they’re pretty freaking awesome, too. I just wish people would have told me how weird it would be, and that this surreal, weird feeling is completely normal!! I also wish I had taken the people who DID say this to me seriously. Now I will reiterate it for you to ignore like I did:

Marriage is fantastic. But it’s weird. And an adjustment-even when you’ve been together as long as Mr. Wonderful and I. I’m learning no couple is exempt from this, but that’s ok! It’s an adjustment looking at your new signature and realizing that you’re still you (just new and improved), or remembering the hand turning the key in the lock at 11:30 at night is supposed to be there so there’s no need for your pulse to quicken and your adrenaline to race.

So yes, it’s weird. They don’t call it a major life change for nothing. And you know what I’m learning? It’s ok for it to be weird. There’s nothing wrong with me because it’ll be weird for the next little bit. I had 33 years to get where I was before, and no matter how wonderful and right this change is it’s going to take more than two weeks for me to get used to where I’m going next. And you know what? That gets to be ok. Good thing I have a pretty awesome, supportive, amazing, loving man by my side. That helps a lot with the weirdness, too. This marriage thing was a pretty good idea, after all. I highly recommend it. Oh, and as promised here's the photo dump to get you by--thanks to the fantastically talented Nancy for taking them!

With daddy. Look at those lashes!!

LB2 was in a car accident (he's ok!) and was in the hospital so he was unable to attend. I am SO grateful for modern technology and friends with iPads so we could Facetime him in!!

Waving to LB2 on the iPad during the ceremony.

                                                        

You bet there's a zombie on this!

Mr Wonderful wanted cupcakes, so he got cupcakes.

I don't know what this is...

I'm sorry Megan. I LOVE this picture and your "wow this is heavy face" too much!

Dancing with my daddy.

My handsome Groom dancing with my momma

I have silly nieces

My beautiful niece who wanted nothing more than to dance with me all night. She even called last night to ask when I was getting married again. Once is enough for me, baby girl.

Being scary with my nieces.

Yep. She's gorgeous. And my friend. Lucky!!

this is halloween

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays, but you wouldn't guess it by looking at me this year. Since I was busy planning a wedding (which I will blog about soon-once I can remember stuffs-unless you don't care to read all about it--do you care to read about it?) taking care of my costume was demoted to the bottom of the list. I cut a batman logo out of felt, stitched it to a black T-shirt, dug out an old Witch cape, threw on a batman mask from a Happy Meal, and called it good enough. Because of my lack of effort I felt a little like What's Her Face. Oh well. The wedding seemed to be pretty rad so I think it was a fair trade.

I totally nailed the Blue Steel...

You know you have been busy when your favorite part of your costume is the fabulous shade of red lipstick. Next year it's on like Donkey Kong. Halloween will be my masterpiece once more. 

tie it up

So this happened:

Wow. The flash made me look white but my diamond sure is purty!
Don't worry. He didn't propose at my house. We took this after we got home.

Yep, it’s official. Mr. Wonderful and I are tying the knot!

We (well he) made it official August 31, but we wanted people to find out from us and not on Facebook, Instagram, the blog, or through the grapevine. So chances are if you’re reading this you already know (if you don’t I’m so sorry you were missed-unless you read it on feedly earlier this week that means  you weren't missed, stupid, stupid feedly beating me to the punch), but now that it's official official I’m just too dang excited to NOT say anything every chance I get!!! 

I say 'official official' because the REAL surprise here is we have been planning this since MAY. Yep, you read that right, Mr. Wonderful and I have been secretly planning a wedding ALL SUMMER. *insert maniacal laugh* Why wait so long before saying anything, you ask? Well we wanted a ring on my finger before we said anything, and to be honest after my first failed attempt at making it down the aisle I have been more than a little gun shy this time around. Although I know it's no guarantee of success we both REALLY wanted a ring on my finger before we said anything-mostly so that it felt real to me. I chose to play my cards close to my chest until I was sure it was a done deal. And now it is. Preparations are well on their way.

I would love to tell it here but Mr. Wonderful is a very private guy and has asked me to not share our engagement story with the interwebnets, so I’m respecting his wishes. If the curiosity is just too much to bear I am happy to share it with you personally or via private message if you would like. 

So instead of ‘the story’ here are a few things I’ve learned over the last twelve weeks: 

-I am great at keeping secrets—except my own. I may have let it slip to a few people (ok, like more than a few). Thank you all for keeping your mouths zipped when I could not!!

-Having a few people in the know was actually nice because I had people to talk to and bounce ideas off of when Mr. Wonderful was sick of getting an earful.

-Just because you title your Pinterest board ‘Someday’ doesn’t mean people won’t jump to conclusions and start asking you if you are in fact, engaged.

-You don’t have to have a ring on your finger for people to be GENUINELY happy and EXCITED for you-one person may or may not have started crying upon hearing the news. (You know who you are, and thank you for that reaction. It was priceless to me.)
-When you do finally 'have a ring on it' it's really distracting and you spend a lot of time looking at your hands.

-Although I’ve had marriage on the brain pretty much my entire life (I am a girl you know), forming all these ideas into a cohesive plan that is both economical and practical to carry out is HARD.

-Having a groom who chooses to be completely involved in the planning process is great, but it also makes planning harder because now I actually have to compromise vs "do whatever you want, I will just show up, stand where I'm told, and look good". (Good thing he has ideas that are usually better than mine anyway.)

-TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE. Seriously. In the time it took to look at it and then get Mr Wonderful there to fall in love with it too (24 hours) the venue went from available to not for the day we originally wanted and we had to push the date back a week.

-Although it has been a hard secret to keep, it has been fun having something just between Mr. Wonderful and me (well mostly between us).
-As worried as I was about being labeled a hypocrite or being judged for choosing to be married civilly first rather than in the temple so ALL of our nearest and dearest could be there (most importantly my daddy and our siblings), people have been super supportive and accepting of my reasons. But then I have the best family and friends ever so I shouldn't be surprised by this, right?

-Everything I thought I knew about me has been thrown out the window. Although I HOPE I haven’t been a Bridezilla I HAVE been overly-emotional. Seriously guys, tears at the drop of a hat over the most ridiculous things. Rational Kristen would have been fine, but Bride Kristen? Not so much. It’s quite embarrassing to Rational Kristen, actually.

-I REALLY wish I had followed through with when I was sixteen and decided to start saving for my wedding. Sixteen years is plenty of time to build quite the nest egg--hell, even if I'd started when Mr. Wonderful and I started dating we'd have more than enough for the wedding of our dreams! 

-We have entertained eloping more than once. If we didn’t know at least a dozen people each who would kill us for doing so we probably would have. (Plus once you start paying deposits you're kinda committed to staying put.)

-Having a seamstress for a mother is a huge blessing-I am getting exactly what I want, although having her 300 miles away makes fittings difficult.
-My whole family is just a huge blessing-my little brother is building us the arch we will be married under and then GIVING it to us to put in our yard one day--just because I mentioned it would be nice but out of our budget. Seriously, guys. Anything I have mentioned I would like but labeled 'undo-able' they have taken the initiative and figured out ways to give it to us. Best. Family. EVER. 

-As much as I thought I wanted things to play out one way: Unexpected proposal (well as unexpected as six years can get us) with a ring he chose himself, then letting everyone know and commencing with the planning, this way (as backwards as it may seem to some-including me) was perfect. I loved choosing my ring with him (waiting for him to finally give it to me-not so much) and making plans just the two of us. It’s been fun, but I’m happy to finally be able to let you in on our secret (as are the people who were sworn to secrecy I'm sure)!
-There is no such thing as 'normal' and trying to compare my normal to other people's normal is just a bad idea all around. Things happen the way they are supposed to, and just because it worked a certain way for someone else does not mean that it's how it will work out for you, and you know what? THAT'S OKAY. 

So those are just a few things I have learned over the last few months. I will say October 23 can not come fast enough-I can hardly wait to start my new life with Mr. Wonderful. It’s been a long time coming and patience in the Lord’s timing definitely pays off. He is the perfect man for me and I love him so much.

Because I don’t want to be “that person” I am trying to be sensitive to people I love, so after this post I will be trying to not spam everyone with anything that isn’t solicited, but I am happy to tell you anything you want to know personally!
(Or you can visit the wedding blog I've set up-provided I make time to post there too www.scottandkristen2013.blogspot.com. If that fails you can visit our website if you wanna. www.scottandkristen2013.com/)

mind your own business

"So, when are you and Mr. Wonderful getting married?"

I know people mean well and when I'm asked this it comes from a place of love (for the most part), but I'm so sick of it I'm ready to start punching people in the face. Here's why:

A: If I had an announcement to make I'd make it.

B: IT'S NONE OF YOUR FREAKING BUSINESS

C: It's a humiliating question to answer and I'm tired of acting like it doesn't bother me and you're not the ZILLIONTH tactless person to pass judgement and unwanted advice on a situation you know NOTHING about.

Suffice it to say if there's ever an announcement to make I'll make it. In the mean time keep your rude, tactless, and inappropriate questions and comments to yourself. If you choose to be a jerk and ask anyway, consider yourself warned.

til death do us part-or just til i'm bored?

I am a firm believer in marriage. I believe that if you choose to make a commitment to one person (civilly or eternally), you are choosing to make it work, no matter what, no matter how much harder it is than you thought. No matter what. It infuriates me when people talk about how  they view their marriages as disposable, and the second they are bored or the flame burns out it's done for them and they have no problems walking away. When I hear them say this I am equally saddened and enraged. With rare few exceptions there is NOTHING you can't work out and no flame that can be re-kindled as long as both parties are willing to work towards it.

I know a few of you who are divorced. I also know a few people who are still married who shouldn't be. With that being said I understand you can't save a marriage on your own, and there are some things that are deal breakers. I am not saying that all people who are divorced didn't do everything they could before choosing that path. I understand fully that you can't fix something if both people aren't equally committed to it, or things like abuse, adultery, or addiction sometimes make it impossible-and even dangerous-to stay. I am not talking about you. I am talking about the people who care so little about their marriage they are willing to throw in the towel before they've even begun the fight and see if there's anything WORTH saving, or simply because they're bored. 

 Spare me the condescending 'well you're not married so you don't know' crap. Yes, I'm not married. But Mr. Wonderful and I have been together five years. Before that I was with Superman Lover for five years too. I am no stranger to a committed long term relationship, and as far as I'm concerned the only thing that makes Mr. Wonderful and I any different from any other married couple is a piece of paper and the fact we don't live under the same roof. We have a good relationship, but it is far from perfect. We have been together long enough we have seen the ugly truths most people don't see until after they're married. We fight, and we've butted heads many times on how we'll raise our kids, where we'll live, how we'll spend our money, and much more. There have been numerous occasions that I have asked myself why the hell I'm with this man. I'm sure he has thought the same about me. The flame has burned both white hot and flickered down to almost nothing, but at the end of the day he is my partner. We will be with each other the rest of our lives and into the Eternities together. As crazy as we make each other, we love each other and want what we have to work-we are committed to making it work.

I can still remember how I felt the first time he kissed me all those years ago. I can still remember the 'newlywed' stage in our relationship and how excited I still am to see him after work. It's all those times that remind me of why I'm still here and why I want to stay. I just don't understand why some people have no problem walking away-especially after they've stood before each other, their families and loved ones, and GOD and promised to everyone they would love, honor, and cherish in good times and bad, in sickness and health, yadda yadda yadda, and then built lives, homes, started families with each other, just to throw it away because it got too hard and you don't want to try anymore. I guess if you say you're bored or done those void everything, yes?

I'm sorry if I offended anyone, that was NOT my intent. I'm just so sick of people who don't take their marriages seriously and view them on the same level as their garbage.

Oy. I'll get off my soap box now.

it's a major award

Mr. Parker: [unveiling his major award] Would you look at that? Would you look at THAT?
Mother: What is it?
Mr. Parker: It's a leg!
Mother: But what is it?
Mr. Parker: Well, it's... A leg, you know, like a statue.
Mother: Statue?
Mr. Parker: Yeah, statue.
Ralphie: Yeah, statue.
Mother: Ralphie!
Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] My mother was trying to insinuate herself between us and the statue.  Parker: Holy smokes. Do... Do you know what this is? This is... A lamp!
Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] It was indeed a lamp.
Mr. Parker: Isn't that great? What a great lamp.
Mother: I don't know...
Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] The old man's eyes boggled...
Mr. Parker: Oh WOW!

 

Well folks, we're only 10 days into the month of October, but the battle of the leg lamp has officially begun.

For those of you who don't know my favorite Christmas movie is 'A Christmas Story'. If you aren't familiar don't tell me, just go here.

 

Six Christmases ago my parents bestowed upon me the greatest gift ever-they built me a leg lamp-complete with 'FRAGILE' (frag-ee-lay) crate. I love it, Mr. Wonderful hates it. Every year around this time he starts to gripe about it-how it's the ugliest thing he's ever seen, usually as melodramatically as possible. Although it always begins in jest it usually ends in the silent treatment.

 

It's a losing battle for us; I will never get rid of it and he will never like it. I just wonder if we argue about it this much now-what will it be like once we're married? (No, that's not an announcement.) Mr. Wonderful and I agree/can come to a compromise on everything else-except this. To me it's not Christmas unless the leg lamp is in the window and Mr. Wonderful claims his is ruined if it's up. Who knew something so silly and fun could bring out such passion? I now have a better understanding of the tension between Mother and The Old Man because of it.

 





What say ye? Do any of you married folks have things you brought into the marriage that the spouse HATES? Did they bring something you hate? I'm pretty sure Mr. Wonderful and I will have to agree to disagree on this one-he'll make sure the tree is gorgeous, and I'll make sure the lamp where it should be...right next to the tree in all its glory...

 



 

is your filter really THAT broken?

Man, all it seems I do on here lately is bitch...I'm sorry.

I have another reason I don’t like weddings-hopefully I am not the only one and you singletons can relate. Being forced through the duration of the wedding/reception to endure the “status of your relationship/when are YOU getting married” comments if you’re with someone, and the “you’re next!/you should get on it” comments if you’re single.

I get that it comes from a place of love. I get that you’re trying to be supportive. I get that because we are friends or family you feel you have a right to say these things and it immediately exempts you from being tactless or stops you from being a jerk. What YOU don’t get is it’s NOT loving. It’s NOT supportive, IT IS tactless and it DOES make you a jerk. By keeping these comments to yourself you are being light years more supportive than the people who let it fly and subsequently make me feel like shit.

I am all for girl power. Girls can do most anything that a man can do. Except propose. So don’t suggest it. I have never and WILL NEVER entertain the idea of getting down on one knee. Proposing is the one thing that should ALWAYS be left to a man. I have yet to meet a man that wants his woman to propose, and I WILL NOT take his thunder. I want to know he wants me because he asked me, not because I flipped the tables and put him on the spot in an awkward situation. More power to the girls who do it, but it’s not for me. I also find it HILARIOUS that the people who tell me to do this are the women who are waiting for their own man to propose or had their husbands propose to them after they waited for them to do it. If you yourself didn't get down on one knee (or aren't planning to) and ask for your man's hand in marriage telling me to will promptly make my eyes glaze over and start to drool profusely. Plus it makes you a hypocrite. So don't.

It’s one thing if I was making comments to anyone who will listen, but I’m not. With the exception of my blog (which is mine and my thoughts and feelings so I'm just entitled to put them here as you are to NOT read them) I don’t say anything to anyone. Why they feel the need to constantly remind me of what I don’t have, I don't know. I’m well aware, thanks. Although I know I could be happier, I’m not unhappy. I’m content. Why isn’t this good enough for these people? MY OWN PARENTS aren’t riding me to get married, so why is everyone else?

I’m not the only one who is privy to these tactless, insensitive comments. My friend is 7.5 months pregnant, not any bigger than any other pregnant woman who is 7.5 months along, yet people think it’s ok to tell her she’s having twins, looks huge for how far along she is, ready to pop any day now, or may be giving birth to a horse. A HORSE! When did tact become optional?

I'm tired of not saying anything because I don't want to be percieved as the bitter girl unable to get herself married off-which is NOT the case. Unless I bring it up, IT’S NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUISNESS!! I’m to the point I’m just going to start making snarky comments about the things THEY don’t want brought up about them in retort. Maybe by turning the tables they’ll get that it doesn’t matter how well-meaning their comments are. They hurt, it’s none of their business, and I’m tired of being forced to endure them with a graceful “joke’s on me” smile on my face.

I just want to live my life and not have to endure any more unwanted or unsolicited marriage comments. From anyone. Exept Mr. Wonderful. Those are welcome. But only from him. Everyone else needs to shusha their mouths.

one day more

Mr. Wonderful's sister is getting married tomorrow. Although I am GENUINELY happy for her weddings and friends having babies still make me a little sad. Almost to the point I dread seeing 'those' envelopes in the mail. Because I know I will have to smile and pretend everything is ok whilst my heart is breaking--and it sucks. Mostly because I feel guilty for being upset when it's supposed to be a happy time. And I am GENUINELY happy for these people, I promise. It just hurts.
 
I'm trying hard to stay positive and remind myself every day brings me one day closer to my turn...I just wish it would hurry the hell up-I'm tired of trying to not let this stuff get me down-and failing miserably.

Maybe I should focus all my pent up emotion on my call back tomorrow--or the impending Rapture?

I promise my next post won't be so lame. I just had to get this off my chest.