what a momma's boy

Well boys and girls, here's the post I was previously not going to post after all...

Yesterday my sweet Riss posted about momma's boys, and I feel awful about the diatribe I left on her comments. I won't lie; this post is mainly for her so that I may redeem myself for the snarky comments I made and hopefully give a little perspective. For the rest of you have a good laugh on me as this is not my brightest shining moment and I allowed myself to become the complete contradiction of what I believe a woman should be.

The year was 2000, and I was working as an assistant event coordinator for the Hollywood Connection (ho-co), and by boss decided to set me up with her son-who also worked at the Ho-Co. Momma's Boy was months away from serving his mission, so although I had a little crush on him I knew it really wouldn't go anywhere. Aside from a couple dates (that his mom had a fairly big hand in) nothing really did.

It wasn't until he came home 18 months early due to health problems that it really got interesting. By this time I had just started dating Superman Lover (don't judge; momma's boy never said/did anything to make me think we were anything more than people who had gone on a couple dates before he left, and I told him I would only promise to not get married while he was gone. I was allowed to date other guys!), and Momma's Boy coming home really threw a wrench in the cog work. I remember one instance after I told him about Superman Lover that he called me and wanted to have an airing of grievances-which he was totally allowed to btw. It was the fact that he did it upon his mother's suggestion, with his mother's guidance, and I even remember sitting on his mother's bed to have it. For some reason that had all just rubbed me wrong. Although I fully admit I had wronged him I couldn't help but feel bugged that an almost 20 year old man was still running to his mother for this. I realize I'm super independent and always have been, but to me this was borderline extreme. I'm all for going to your parents for support, but I would never dream of allowing them to play puppet master in MY life. After this incident I began to space myself from that situation-because it was really awkward and for someone who said they wanted to date me he wasn't really making any effort to do so. The last time I ever went over to his house was probably the most uncomfortable situation I've ever put myself in. Not only was I getting the cold shoulder from mom, I was getting it from everyone else, too. It was then that I realized if I were to marry this guy every time we had a disagreement he would run to his mom and his siblings making something that was between he and I into a situation of me against the whole family. I knew I would never be happy in that situation, and that was a deal breaker for me. I walked way and never looked back.

Fast forward five-ish years.

My engagement to Superman Lover had ended about eight months prior, and I decided I was ready to start wading back into the dating pool. In my not so brightest moment I enrolled on some LDS dating site, and who should appear as my number one compatibility match but momma's boy. Going against my better judgement (I was convinced on a site THAT large him not only popping up as my number one, but also within the first week of joining this was too odd to ignore), I reached out, he replied, and we ended up on another (lackluster) date. Like a fool I let him kiss me at the end of said date and then we got to talking. I could feel the twinge of attraction returning so I asked him if maybe he could give me another chance to prove I had changed. This was his reply: "I have to talk to my mom first." No, I'm NOT kidding. A 25-year old man needed to talk to his mom before dating a girl. I was asking for a chance, not a proposal. I was again reminded that should anything happen there would be three people in that relationship: me, him, and mommy. I wish I could say I immediately cut bait and walked away, but I didn't. I was stupid and twitterpated, and engaged in not so great activities that I wish more than anything I could erase. My only defense is I was stupid, stupid, stupid.

I did learn my lesson though. I will NEVER date/attempt to date a momma's boy. A man who loves and respects the woman who birthed him? Definitely. A man who needs to ask mommy's permission/input before deciding what to have for breakfast? No thanks. There needs to come a time when men stop relying on their parents, put on their big-boy underwear, and start making decisions for themselves. Something momma's boy clearly hadn't figured out how to do...

Yet another reason Mr. Wonderful is a keeper: he's no momma's boy.

register or die

“Let's be honest. Sometimes there is nothing harder in life than being happy for somebody else. Like lottery winners. Or extremely successful people who are 27. And then there's that hell on earth that only your closest friends can inflict on you -- the baby (wedding) shower."

~Carrie Bradshaw

I love my friends. I do. I love that they want me to share in their happiness and subject invite me to their bridal/wedding/baby showers. What I DON'T love is when they force ask me to buy ridiculously expensive gifts off a boutique registry that is CLEAR across town, ESPECIALLY when I can get almost identical stuff from Target. That's across the street from my house. For a fraction of the cost. I try to practice good gift-giving etiquette and stick to the registry, but COME ON.

I get that you are starting out and you need, well EVERYTHING. I also understand there are some things that are just expensive no matter where you go. I have no problem contributing because let's face it-I'm expecting you to return the favor when I marry/have kidlets, but come on. Are you so worried about appearances that you will make it almost impossible for those of us who can't afford the $150 car seat to give you something? If we're being honest here, and I like to think we are-I wouldn't ask you to spend $40 on a blanket for me, so do you really think I'm gonna do it for your kid knowing full well that it's gonna be used as a puke rag? And what about convenience? My idea of a fun afternoon isn't driving clear across town to the ONLY location in the state to buy over-priced binkies.

What ever happened to the days of Target and Bed Bath and Beyond? Am I totally behind the times in thinking these are completely acceptable places to register for gifts?

I'm not driving clear across town to visit one store, and I'm definitely not spending $50 on an outfit your kid will be too big for in eight weeks. Is it awful of me to buy items that aren't on the registry (but are damn near identical) from another place simply because I refuse to drive clear across town and pay double for a product I can get somewhere else cheaper?

Or am I just being a catty biotch who is bitter she didn't get a gift registry when she started out because she is still single? Do I need to suck it up and stop whining?  

is your filter really THAT broken?

Man, all it seems I do on here lately is bitch...I'm sorry.

I have another reason I don’t like weddings-hopefully I am not the only one and you singletons can relate. Being forced through the duration of the wedding/reception to endure the “status of your relationship/when are YOU getting married” comments if you’re with someone, and the “you’re next!/you should get on it” comments if you’re single.

I get that it comes from a place of love. I get that you’re trying to be supportive. I get that because we are friends or family you feel you have a right to say these things and it immediately exempts you from being tactless or stops you from being a jerk. What YOU don’t get is it’s NOT loving. It’s NOT supportive, IT IS tactless and it DOES make you a jerk. By keeping these comments to yourself you are being light years more supportive than the people who let it fly and subsequently make me feel like shit.

I am all for girl power. Girls can do most anything that a man can do. Except propose. So don’t suggest it. I have never and WILL NEVER entertain the idea of getting down on one knee. Proposing is the one thing that should ALWAYS be left to a man. I have yet to meet a man that wants his woman to propose, and I WILL NOT take his thunder. I want to know he wants me because he asked me, not because I flipped the tables and put him on the spot in an awkward situation. More power to the girls who do it, but it’s not for me. I also find it HILARIOUS that the people who tell me to do this are the women who are waiting for their own man to propose or had their husbands propose to them after they waited for them to do it. If you yourself didn't get down on one knee (or aren't planning to) and ask for your man's hand in marriage telling me to will promptly make my eyes glaze over and start to drool profusely. Plus it makes you a hypocrite. So don't.

It’s one thing if I was making comments to anyone who will listen, but I’m not. With the exception of my blog (which is mine and my thoughts and feelings so I'm just entitled to put them here as you are to NOT read them) I don’t say anything to anyone. Why they feel the need to constantly remind me of what I don’t have, I don't know. I’m well aware, thanks. Although I know I could be happier, I’m not unhappy. I’m content. Why isn’t this good enough for these people? MY OWN PARENTS aren’t riding me to get married, so why is everyone else?

I’m not the only one who is privy to these tactless, insensitive comments. My friend is 7.5 months pregnant, not any bigger than any other pregnant woman who is 7.5 months along, yet people think it’s ok to tell her she’s having twins, looks huge for how far along she is, ready to pop any day now, or may be giving birth to a horse. A HORSE! When did tact become optional?

I'm tired of not saying anything because I don't want to be percieved as the bitter girl unable to get herself married off-which is NOT the case. Unless I bring it up, IT’S NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUISNESS!! I’m to the point I’m just going to start making snarky comments about the things THEY don’t want brought up about them in retort. Maybe by turning the tables they’ll get that it doesn’t matter how well-meaning their comments are. They hurt, it’s none of their business, and I’m tired of being forced to endure them with a graceful “joke’s on me” smile on my face.

I just want to live my life and not have to endure any more unwanted or unsolicited marriage comments. From anyone. Exept Mr. Wonderful. Those are welcome. But only from him. Everyone else needs to shusha their mouths.

day three

My idea of a perfect first date. wow. I hate first dates more than pretty much anything. You're nervous and worried about making a good first impression. Nerves and trying to impress are NEVER a good combination. First dates are one step up from a job interview...hell. Let's be honest. First dates ARE a job interview.

I don't think I have EVER had a good first date-including my first date with Mr. Wonderful, so I'm just going to say my ideal first date would include the following:

1. You are able to feel comfortable
2. Conversation flows easily. (For someone who struggles with making small talk this is a biggie)
3. You can be yourself-because let's face it-cat's gonna come out of the bag eventually, so you might as well do it from the get-go, right?
4. A man who isn't afraid to be a gentleman. Chivalry is NOT dead guys.
5. You have enough in common to get along, but are different enough to still be interesting.
6. Anything that DOESN'T involve anything you can't talk during-movie, play, etc. How are you supposed to get to know each other when you're prohibited from talking?
7. I'm not gonna lie. I'm a sucker for bowling, mini-golf, and rollerskating. It's impossible to not be yourself when you're doing any of these things...BUT I had a date take me go-karting once. Although it was fun helmet hair is NOT good for a first date.
8. A non-awkward goodnight hug and a call or text in the next couple of days if he wants to go out again. Waiting is no bueno-but I've also had guys who WOULDN'T stop calling and texting. That's even WORSE guys.
9. And most importantly--if you're not interested in going out again SAY SO. It's tough, but nothing is worse than waiting for a call you were told is coming that doesn't. And if you're told "thanks but no thanks" STOP CALLING THEM. (yes that happened to me too-I had to be a jerk to this one.)

Hopefully I won't ever have to have another first date again. I'm uneasy just looking at this list.

the one where kristen turns 30...

It's times like this I wish I had photoshop--because I would SO cut and paste my pic in here...

Rachel: Okay! Y’know what? I realized it was stupid to get upset about not having a husband and kids. All I really needed was a plan. See I wanna have three kids…
Phoebe: Oh let me guess, and you wanna have them all at the same time and you wanna have them for your brother.
Rachel: As I was saying… I should probably have the first of the three kids by the time I’m 35 which gives me five years. I love this plan! I wanna marry this plan!
Phoebe: If you could do that, I’d marry the hippity-hop.
Rachel: So, if I wanna have my kid when I’m 35, I don’t have to get pregnant until I’m 34. Which gives Prada four years to start making maternity clothes! Oh wait, but I do want to be married for a year before I get pregnant…
Monica: Really! That long?! (Chandler slowly turns and looks at her.) (To Chandler) Look all you want, it’s happening!
Rachel: No, so I don’t have to get married until I’m 33! That’s three years, that’s three whole years—Oh, wait a minute though. I’ll need a year and a half to plan the wedding, and I’d like to know the guy for a year, year and a half before we get engaged… Which means I need to meet the guy by the time I’m thirty.
Ross: Which is fine! Because you just turned—(Removes two candles from the cake)—twenty-eight!
Rachel: No! Ross, no! It is not fine! Eh-eh-according to my plan I should already be with the guy I wanna marry!

There's no way to say this and not sound completely pathetic, so I'm just gonna say it.
Yeah...it took me turning thirty to be able to FULLY appreciate Rachel and her frustration/desperation here.
Only I wanted to be married-almost done having kids-maybe one or two more-by the time I was thirty. Yeah THAT'S not happening. Usually I'm ok with it--until times like this weekend and I REALLY think about it. THEN I hear an incessant "TICK TICK TICK" in the back of my brain and I realize my time is running out. Then panic mode sets in because I realize this one is COMPLETELY OUT OF MY HANDS.
Normally if I want something I just go out and get it. But this situation doesn't work that way. And it SUCKS. Plus it doesn't help any when my happily married with children friends get all smug and say crap like "don't worry, you'll get your turn." Yeah. That's REAL easy for you to say. You're already livin' the dream. Or the person who was married at 19 and a parent at 20 is trying to "relate" because they remember wondering and stressing if it was ever going to happen for them too. Gah! Word of wisdom my friends: If you've already got what the person wants or you yourself have not been down a damn near identical road don't say crap like that. EVER. All you'll get is a smack in the face.

After all this stressing marriage and motherhood better be all it's cracked up to be otherwise I'm gonna be PISSED.
Funny how life doesn't EVER work out the way you planned. Being single is HARD.
Ok, I've vented. I'm better now...kinda.

"sage" advice

DISCLAIMER: This is a rant. A long one. If you don’t want to read on, close the page now. You’ve been warned.

It used to be single ladies only had to worry about the little old ladies giving them unsolicited love advice. I don’t know when that changed, but just…wow.

Although I’m used to getting it, this year has been chock-full of “sage advice”. Everyone and their dog feels it’s their obligation-nay right-to tell me how I should live my life-particularly where my love life is concerned. I should also mention these are all people who are married-some who even came from a similar situation as mine. Although I love them I find it very condescending and it infuriates me how quick they are to forget how OBNOXIOUS and unwanted this “help” really is. These are the following comments I’ve received-usually after I’m solicited to tell them how things are with Mr. Wonderful. We have been together for three years, are crazy in love with each other, talk about marriage and having a family all the time, but because of certain things there isn’t a proposal in the near future. These comments have been even more out of line this week since I didn’t receive a diamond to don for Christmas.

-HOW long have you been dating again? (I’m sorry, I didn’t know I was required to be engaged two days after we met.)

-Well tell him to get off his lazy ass otherwise you’ll leave him! (Oh, yeah, because insults make people just WANT to do your bidding.)

-You deserve so much better. (Really? I have a good, honest, caring, thoughtful, wonderful man who has made me his whole world. Just because he’s not ready to make a HUGE commitment I instantly deserve something better?)

-I’m saying this out of love, but WHY are you still with him? (Um, because we love each other, he’s worth the wait, and you don’t know the whole story-only what I have volunteered to you, and if you REALLY loved me you would be happy that I'm happy and quit focusing on what I don't have-yet.)

-Why don’t you just propose to him? (Oh yes, that’s so romantic. As pro-girl I am there are some things women should never do. This is one of them-another post for another day.)

-Give him an ultimatum. (Because I WANT him to feel forced, manipulated, and resentful towards me.)

-Tell him you want to start dating other people and make him jealous. (Again since when is manipulating ANYONE to get what you want a good thing?)

-You’re SO PRETTY (pretty sure they were lying on that one.) how are you NOT married? (Apparently all you need to be is pretty to get married.)

-Why do you keep doing this to yourself? (Referring to the fact I waited for four years for a ring from fiancée #1.)-I didn’t know falling in love was ‘doing’ anything?

Then of course you throw in the occasional person who makes it their business to bash Mr. Wonderful and fiancée #1 for taking their time and not hastily jumping into anything. (Yeah THAT’LL win you my affection-talk bad about my friend and the man I love.)

UGH. Enough is enough people! It’s one thing if I’m constantly complaining about the plight my decisions have put me in, but I NEVER bring it up! Why do people think these are things I want and need to be hearing? I don’t. All it does is make me mad. Unless you know the WHOLE story (and there are only two people who do), keep your mouth shut.  You’re not being supportive, you’re not being helpful, and you are only making me feel worse.

In my life I have been blessed with two incredible men. Two men who despite my many faults, flaws, and excess baggage love(d) me. Two men who I love(d) with all my heart. Two men who had their own reasons for taking their time in proposing. Although I don't always like it and it's not easy to feel 'left behind' I understand and respect their reasons. Two men who have always been honest with me so I know this is the bed I have chosen to lie in therefore as hard as it is I am choosing to be patient. Two men who I will always love, albeit in different ways and will NEVER stand for them being bashed, degraded, or thought less of for their actions. Two men who treat(ed) me like gold, tell (told) me all the time how wonderful I am, have never raised a hand to me, set out to hurt me, or made me feel less than anything worthwhile are suddenly public enemy number one because they have taken their time to make a monumentally life changing decision for BOTH of us. I don’t get it.

Although I love you all, I’m a big girl. My decisions are my own. You are not me or him, therefore you don’t know nor will you EVER know the entire story. I will stick around until the Lord tells me otherwise. You need to keep your comments to yourself and trust me to trust what Mr. Wonderful and I have decided to do. All things that are the most worthwhile are the hardest to achieve. The Lord approves of my decision, so I don’t care if you do.

Have you ever received unsolicited advice about something? How did you handle it?

is it ever ok to settle?

Ok…just to warn you all-this may be a little bit of a downer. I’ll try to keep it upbeat, but considering the topic I’m not sure how upbeat I can make it.

Growing up all I ever heard from everyone was “don’t settle”. Don’t settle on a job that doesn’t make you happy, a lifestyle you don’t want, or a spouse who isn’t everything you envisioned.

Now that I’m older, I understand more how important it is to NOT settle, but is it ever ok? Don’t we all have things we imagined would turn out differently than they did? Although we’re happy we wonder if had we held out for the better school, the better job, or heaven forbid-the better spouse how much happier we would be? Or do we just grow up and realize life isn’t perfect and sometimes you take what you get?

As most of you know I’m in danger of being another workforce fatality-thanks again economy-and so I’ve been proactively looking for a new job. The longer my hunt drags on the more I’ve found myself thinking, “Well I guess I could take a $2.00 an hour pay cut. I know I’m already underpaid at my current job, but I really need a new one, so I’ll make the best of it.” Or: “I don’t feel too great about this line of work or the people I would be working with, but I guess it can be something I can learn to like.” Notice I said ‘like’ and not ‘love’. Does that worry you as much as that worries me? The fact that we-especially me-let ourselves make decisions out of fear, complacency, or our own feelings of inadequacy kinda scares me. Wait. Not kinda. It REALLY scares me. Even before all of this happened I have been unhappy in my work, but the thought of looking, selling myself to another company, and then starting over-at the bottom of a new totem pole-kept me where I was. Again I was settling.

It’s not just work where I’m seeing it. I dabble in the theatre arts, and although I know I will be rejected more often than not and that it’s not personal I still take it personally. Last night I found myself questioning whether or not to just settle for the ensemble roles because obviously these directors aren’t seeing in me what I see in me so maybe I should just quit putting myself out there to keep being rejected. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been doing it, or how thick you think your skin is, or how marvelously talented you KNOW you are, rejection still stings. Every time-JUST as much as the first time. I could settle and just go for the ensemble roles. I would be rejected a lot less, but I would be on stage knowing full well that that’s not where I should be. I am a leading lady. I know it, but I’m not getting the reinforcement so now I'm feeling it less and less.

When I was a teenager I had everything all planned out. I was going start dating right at sixteen, and I would never want for a boy to go out with me. It was going to be perfect. Then when I was older-you know, 22 or 23, I was going to meet and marry the perfect man. He would be swashbuckling and do whatever was necessary to make me happy-because my happiness would be all that mattered. We would have the perfect courtship, we would never fight; he would be my Prince Charming. We would have the perfect engagement, the perfect wedding, and after a couple of perfect years of marriage we would finally have our perfect children. Everything would be perfect and I would have my own Hollywood Fairytale ending. Then real life happened. Dating is HARD. I stayed home many a weekend and missed out on many a dance because I wasn't asked. I also went out with boys I didn't want to date because they asked me first and I couldn't be mean. Then I entered my twenties and learned personalities clash. Men are afraid of commitment, no matter how much they love you. My happiness isn't the only thing that matters. I turned 26 and STILL wasn’t married. Then I was 27, 28, 29, and still nothing. I’m now staring down the barrel of my 30^th birthday and I still don’t have it together. My life now is NOTHING how my sixteen year old self would have told you it would be. There have been periods in my dating life where I have said to myself, “This isn’t the happy I wanted, but its ok. At least I’m happy, right?” Although I can honestly say I have no regrets and there are only a few things I would do differently given the chance I still have found myself wondering from time to time “Am I settling? I’m happy, but it’s not the happy I thought I would have at sixteen. Should I try for that happy, or should I be realistic?” Is being ‘realistic’ just another way of settling?

Over all I am content with my life. Not completely satisfied-mostly because I’m still a work in progress, but I’m not completely discontent either. There are areas I could improve and make better, but I don’t. Whether it’s fear of my own failure, fear of change, I’m not ready, or the fact I just don’t know how to make it better so I let it be. I realize I am the only one who can make myself happy, but is being content and realistic the same thing as settling? Am I growing up and realizing life never turns out the way you planned? Or am I being a silly girl and over thinking things again? Have YOU ever felt like you were settling? And were you ok with it?

Friday Confessions...

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it’s that time again…Friday Confessional. Rather than focus on just one I have a few that have been floating around in my mind as of late.


When I grow up and get married, I'm living alone. (Yes I know it's not proper grammar, but I loved it anyway.)

I love living alone. It’s true. The girl who grew up in a big, noisy family, shared a room with her little sister until she was 22, and has never been alone in her life-thus assumed she could never live alone-LOVES HAVING HER OWN SPACE.
I went from this: (artist's rendition-and turn your head sideways because I can't get it to rotate)

To this: (some were taken on moving day-I promise it looks better now)


See? Everything looks better with pictures hung!
It really is great-no roommates to mesh personalities with, I can come and go as I please, veg out on the couch every night, stock my cupboards with nothing but cereal and Girl Scout Cookies (true story), and leave wet towels on the floor, makeup on the bathroom counter, dirty dishes in the sink-whatever I want goes because it’s MINE.

On the flip-side....

I hate living alone, too.
Sometimes it’s depressing to come home to an empty apartment (there is nothing that makes you more aware of your single status then not having anyone to come home to). There are times where the boredom is so intense I sit there, staring at my phone-thinking about who I could call to break up the monotony and tell about my day-just to have SOME sort of human contact. Some other things that have sucked is getting used to the fact my bedroom window faces a busy road (traffic noises at all hours) AND has the fluorescent lights of the parking lot across the street blaring into my room through the blinds at night (hello black out drapes!). Learning the “settling” noises of a new place all alone in the dead of the night has also been NO FUN. Getting used to paying all the expenses alone is a downer too; as is going to the laundromat, learning how to shop/cook for one, and lugging things to and from your car parked light years away. BUT, all that aside I love knowing that-although it’s tiny-all 525 square feet belongs entirely to me. I don’t care who you are. THAT is pretty damn cool.


I am a firm believer a degree is nothing more than an expensive piece of paper.

Before you gasp and judge and berate me with angry posts, let me explain. With few exceptions-doctors, lawyers, teachers, etc. There is nothing a school can teach me that I can’t learn with good old on the job experience. This has become even MORE apparent to me now that I am once again looking for work (thank you economy for being totally SUCKTASTIC). I have experience in everything-from food service to HR to Accounts Receivable/Payable to Office Administrating to management—you name it, I’ve probably done it. But NOW employers are requiring a BACHELOR’S degree to even be considered. These are ENTRY LEVEL POSITIONS people. Really? Yep. Apparently now you need to have a SPENT $30,000+ on a piece of paper to be qualified enough to MAKE $30,000 a year-because somehow that paper makes you more qualified than me. You would REALLY rather have the snot-nosed brat, fresh out of college, with just their degree in hand, no experience WHATSOEVER-armed only with what they’ve read about in books-to someone who has BEEN in the "trenches" and experienced it head on? Really? That’s like saying you prefer the surgeon fresh out of Medical School with no surgeries under his belt to the 30-year veteran who has performed so many procedures he can do them in his sleep. Makes NO SENSE TO ME. I don’t want to do heart surgery. I just want to do Office Administration.



Donuts can pretty much cure all ills. So do waffles. Especially when they involve these:


And this face:

It's love.

Thanks to Netflix having all five seasons of “Quantum Leap” in the instant cue I have realized not only how much I still LOVE that show but also that I have an oober crush on Scott Bakula. Creepy? Just a little. Why? Because he’s almost DOUBLE my age, old enough to be my father, and a year younger than my MOTHER, yet I just don’t care. I’m convinced the man is like a fine wine. He only gets better with age. Oh! AND he plays the piano and sings! SINGS! Do you know that a good-looking man who sings, acts, plays the piano, and is STRAIGHT is like the Holy Grail of men? It's true. Don't believe me? Have a look:




Circa “Quantum Leap” *sigh*

Today-“Men of a Certain Age” *WOW!*


Maybe it’s because he KINDA resembles my Scott? Hmm…































You be the judge on this one.

Why it's great to be single...

Hey y’all. I know, I know. I’ve been a bad blogger. I wish I could say I have a great excuse—like I was abducted by aliens for the last three months and after a daring week-long stand off I just now made it off the Mother Ship; making it my first priority to update you all. Yeah, that’s not the case. My only excuse is that my life is SO unbelievably boring I haven’t had anything exciting to share. I still don’t, but I have been thinking about this the last few days and thought it would be fun to put out into the "blogosphere".

It’s become obvious that it’s spring. Not by looking out the window; because just yesterday it looked like a day in January, not April. But I digress. You know that it’s spring because everyone and their dog is getting engaged, getting married, getting knocked up, or getting ready to pop like an over-filled cream puff. Everyone that is, but me. Now don’t worry. This isn’t going to be a down-on-life-woe-is-me post. It’s also not a big fat boo on being married, pregnant, or anything of the sort-well not directly anyway. ;) I’m just merely reminding myself and all my single friends it’s not as bad as sometimes we may think. So-for your enjoyment here’s my list of why it’s great to be single:

I don’t answer to anyone but me-I do what I want when I want. I don’t have to put plans on hold while I find out what my hubby is doing and if it will interfere with what he has going on.

Relationships are disposable-Although I’m not a “serial dater” it’s nice to know I can be if I REALLY want to. Some guy bugs the hell out of me? Kick him to the curb and move on to the next one. That whole “I’m in a committed relationship” thing doesn’t get in the way. I can throw my hands up and walk away at will.

My credit is my own-I’ve worked hard to make my credit almost blemish-free. This is something I’m very proud of. Not many people my age can say their credit is almost perfect. I don’t have to worry about the credit card my husband defaulted on two years out of High School keeping me from being able to buy a car—or a house.

I have free reign to be completely and utterly selfish-If I want to buy that pair of jeans at Aero or the new ipod touch I can get them without worrying who will be going without.

Traveling is so much easier-I go where I want, when I want. If I want to go to Disneyland six times in one year or pick up and go to Washington to visit friends on a whim it’s ok. I don’t have to worry about everyone making arrangements for taking time off work and school, saving for months in advance, and if everyone is having a good time. I also don’t have to worry about looking into alternative modes of transportation because my husband is afraid to fly or my kids can’t handle a road trip. Packing for one is also a whole lot easier than packing for six.

I’m not a 24-hour caretaker-I don’t have to worry about tending to sick children in the middle of the night or helping my husband find his misplaced car keys--again. I'm the only one I have to worry about.

I'm the only one who can humiliate myself-If I'm embarrassed it's because of me and my ineptness-not my husband for making a joke at my expense or my child yelling choice words/phrases at inopportune times.

Saturdays are still for sleeping in-I don’t spend my days running errands and doing yard work or peeling fighting children off one another because they both have to have the toy in the cereal box. If I choose to stay in bed until 11 it’s perfectly fine-I don’t have to worry about fighting crowds at the Grocery Store or waking up to the cereal toy carnage.

My time is my own-If I want to take 17 credit hours, work full time, AND do a show I can. My biggest concern is where to fit sleep into that equation.

I support me-I don’t have to count on someone else to bring home a paycheck. Because of this I choose how, when, and where my money does or doesn’t get spent without consulting with someone else first.

I'm old enough to be a realist-Not a cynic. Because I'm 28 and still single I've had time to experience some of life's highs and lows and learn that not only am I stronger and smarter because of it-I also don't need someone there to hold my hand every step of the way. Because of these trials I can be a better wife and mother because I can relate to my child having their heart broken, or understand my husband's fear of being alone. I feel bad for people who have no life experience to draw on when someone they care for is hurting and in need of help.

And most importantly-when I’m playing with a baby or my nieces and nephews if they misbehave or poo everywhere I get to turn them back over to mom and dad to handle. Not to mention I can load them up with sugar or get them all wound up and then send them home. I get all of the highs and none of the lows.

Although this list may not show it I can’t wait to be married and have a family of my own. This is just a reminder for all me and my single friends how good we actually have it. While I plan on enjoying it while it lasts I’m still eagerly (and somewhat impatiently) looking forward to the next step. :)