it's a major award

Mr. Parker: [unveiling his major award] Would you look at that? Would you look at THAT?
Mother: What is it?
Mr. Parker: It's a leg!
Mother: But what is it?
Mr. Parker: Well, it's... A leg, you know, like a statue.
Mother: Statue?
Mr. Parker: Yeah, statue.
Ralphie: Yeah, statue.
Mother: Ralphie!
Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] My mother was trying to insinuate herself between us and the statue.  Parker: Holy smokes. Do... Do you know what this is? This is... A lamp!
Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] It was indeed a lamp.
Mr. Parker: Isn't that great? What a great lamp.
Mother: I don't know...
Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] The old man's eyes boggled...
Mr. Parker: Oh WOW!

 

Well folks, we're only 10 days into the month of October, but the battle of the leg lamp has officially begun.

For those of you who don't know my favorite Christmas movie is 'A Christmas Story'. If you aren't familiar don't tell me, just go here.

 

Six Christmases ago my parents bestowed upon me the greatest gift ever-they built me a leg lamp-complete with 'FRAGILE' (frag-ee-lay) crate. I love it, Mr. Wonderful hates it. Every year around this time he starts to gripe about it-how it's the ugliest thing he's ever seen, usually as melodramatically as possible. Although it always begins in jest it usually ends in the silent treatment.

 

It's a losing battle for us; I will never get rid of it and he will never like it. I just wonder if we argue about it this much now-what will it be like once we're married? (No, that's not an announcement.) Mr. Wonderful and I agree/can come to a compromise on everything else-except this. To me it's not Christmas unless the leg lamp is in the window and Mr. Wonderful claims his is ruined if it's up. Who knew something so silly and fun could bring out such passion? I now have a better understanding of the tension between Mother and The Old Man because of it.

 





What say ye? Do any of you married folks have things you brought into the marriage that the spouse HATES? Did they bring something you hate? I'm pretty sure Mr. Wonderful and I will have to agree to disagree on this one-he'll make sure the tree is gorgeous, and I'll make sure the lamp where it should be...right next to the tree in all its glory...

 



 

christmas trees and leg lamps

Last week I bought my Christmas tree—before you judge me for doing it so far in advance--I’ve gotta tell you it’s fake, it will NOT be put up until after Thanksgiving, this being my first Christmas in my new place I needed one, AND it was originally $200 but I got it for $50, so there.
Because it will be going up in a little over a week I haven’t bothered to make room for it in my storage space. Instead I have opted to leave the box where it will be put up to get me used to the idea. Last night Mr. Wonderful and I were watching our new favorite show when I saw the glimmer in his eye. Those of you who have seen “A Christmas Story” know the glimmer I am referring to. Those who don’t it’s the glimmer the old man gets in his eye about a week before Christmas thinking about the turkey he would soon be partaking. This man loves Christmas more than he loves me I’m sure. He’s the type who starts listening to Christmas music November 1, would keep the lights up year round if he could, looks for any reason to celebrate Christmas early, and calls me a Grinch because I believe there’s a time and place for Christmas. Because of this I had been waiting for him to make up a reason for me to put my tree up a whole week and a half early. I braced myself for the inevitable.

He then looked at me and sweetly said, “We should take that out of the box so we can see what it looks like.” Being as I know my sweetheart all too well I saw right through his tactic and replied: “once it comes out of the box it’s staying out until January 2.” Upon hearing this he got a twinkle in his eye and a sneaky grin on his face. In my attempt to dissuade him I had clearly given him the answer he was looking for. Once I saw the glimmer and his advance toward the box-the man is worse than my little brother was with presents growing up, I quickly added; “and if the tree comes out my leg lamp is right behind it.” You heard me right. A leg lamp. Cue the Hallelujah Chorus and heavenly beams.
That stopped him cold. Mr. Wonderful hates my little beauty almost as much as he hates the movie from which it originated. (Blasphemy-I KNOW!) He has had fantasies of having “accidents” with it since he learned of its existence-luckily for me it was a hand made gift from my parents and is protected from such a fate by sentimental value. During the course of our relationship many an argument has been had regarding this beauty-if we get married it will just get worse, I'm sure. He seems to think it’s an eyesore and has no place in the front window next to the tree. I say that’s what makes it funny-the fact it’s in the front room window next to the tree. Like Mom and The Old Man, we’re very much divided on what’s appropriate Christmas décor in the Newman-Fox households.

What say ye?