choke

Picture if you will a cute brunette with a voice like an angel (her words, not mine-but you bet I won't let her forget it cause it makes me so happy!).

One bright and sunny October day she ventured down to a little building called the Delta Center (at least that's what it was called then-you might recognize it now as the ESA.) to sing a song. Not just any song, mind you. It was an audition to sing the National Anthem for our local team, the Utah Jazz (back when they didn't suck.). She was nervous, but ready. Then she stood on her red 'X' in the middle of the arena floor and began to sing to the crowd. It was awesome. Tone-perfect. Pitch-spot on. Projection-impeccable. She filled with pride as the swells of her music filled the arena. Then the unthinkable happened. "O'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly gleaming---" then nothing. Silence. Her mind had drawn a complete blank. The one song she had known pretty much her entire life flew right out of her head. Even with the helpful calls of the next line from the other auditioners it was done. She couldn't get out of there fast enough-and proved it by nearly falling flat on her face running up the stairs to get the hell out of there.

Flash forward to the following year. She had been thinking about this day almost daily since the previous year, convinced that she must redeem herself and prove that the previous year was a fluke. So as she drove to the Delta Center she was nervous-worrying all the while that maybe this wasn't the best idea and that she should go across the street to the Gateway and see a movie instead. But she was determined. She HAD to show herself that she could do this-she had been to dozens of auditions-this one wasn't any different and she was going to RULE. Fortunately the auditions had been moved from the arena to a much smaller conference room. It was full, but not packed. As she took her seat on the back row waiting for her number to be called she could feel the paranoia coming back. As she fought off the urge to run she reminded herself she had this, she had been practicing all week in preparation, and she was READY. Finally it was her turn. She didn't start as confidently this time as she had the last, but it wasn't horrible. She started to relax and get into singing the song. Then it happened again. "O'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly gleaming---" then nothing. Again? Really? Once again she thanked the judges (and quietly apologized for wasting their time) and left.

Afterwards she decided the two botched attempts was a sign she should never sing the National Anthem in public again. And she hasn't. For almost seven years she has not sung the National Anthem as a soloist.

Well folks, all of that is about to change. In just over three hours this cute little brunette is about to tempt fate again. I've been trying to keep my cool, but I'm not going to lie. I'm kind-of (ok, REALLY) nervous. Will I choke yet again and live up to the legacy I've created for myself? Or will I FINALLY get rid of my performer's block and do this dang song justice? We'll all know soon enough...

**UPDATE** I was calm, cool, collected, and  I remembered all the words-to be honest--I nailed it. I will be singing the National Anthem not once, at least twice, possibly three times during the Babe Ruth Little League World Series in August. (And after the crappy crap-tastic show I had last night I needed a little good news.)