an entire decade

It's hard to believe it's been an entire decade since 9-11. Hard to believe how much and how little we have changed as a country. Hard to believe how quickly so many people have forgotten how it felt to watch that day unfold. I am lucky; I didn't lose anyone that day, but I know people who did. My dad lost two of his close childhood friends-one was a policeman, the other was a firefighter.

I can still remember that day like it was yesterday.

I was lying in bed enjoying the fact I didn't have class that morning, but trying to milk every last second before I HAD to finally get up for work. It was a beautiful morning, and I remember thinking to myself how nice the day was shaping up to be. Just as I was giving in and getting up I heard my sister call out to my mom in terror, "MOM! There's another one flying into the building!" I went out to the living room and watched in disbelief. I remember hoping everyone would be ok, but then feeling ridiculous for doing so. I knew there were already lives lost and that the number was only going to go up. I remember asking my mom who Osama Bin Laden was and telling her he just started World War III. I immediately became afraid of what was to come-namely the draft being reinstated and having to send my brothers and boyfriend off to war.

My employees and I jerry-rigged an antenna for the television we had at work, and the news was on all day. I remember customers coming in not caring about the new releases like they normally did on Tuesdays, but rather what was playing out on the 14" TV on the counter. That's when I heard about Flight 93 and the attack on the Pentagon.

I was in rehearsals for 'The Music Man', and the mood was very distracted and somber. Our stage manager was from New York, and because of the jammed telephone lines she did not find out her family was safe until almost twelve hours later. I remember seeing the stress and the pain on her face and the helplessness I felt being able to do nothing to comfort her.

I had managed to not cry the entire day, until that evening sitting on my parents couch in the arms of Superman Lover. It was there watching yet another recap of the day that the weight of everything hit me and I finally cried for all the loss that had occurred as well as being afraid of what lied ahead. The Salt Lake Olympics were a mere five months away-I was afraid we were going to have a big bullseye on our back.

In the weeks and months that followed I remember the fear, and the heightened security everywhere, the consipracies, and all that garbage, but what I remember most is how patriotic and unified we were. I was grateful for that.  

Every year my heart hurts just as it did on the original day. I hope we as a country never forget. I don't think I could if I tried.