Recently I had an epiphany of sorts. All surrounding a five
letter word. Faith. For most we associate faith with religion-and whether or
not we believe in some form of Deity. But faith comes in all forms, and it’s
something I think it’s safe to say we all struggle with in some degree.
I have never struggled with faith in regards to my religion.
I know what I believe is true; I know that I have a Heavenly Father who loves
me and blesses my life. I have known this from a very early age and have never
wavered. Some people say I blindly follow, but to them I simply say “you don’t
have to look for something you already know.” In this regard my faith is as
easy as breathing.
Where I struggle with this little word is having faith in
others. There have been a lot of circumstances that have shaped me and made me
who I am. Some are good, and some not so much. I am no longer bright-eyed and
in love with the world; but rather I am cynical, angry, and distrusting towards
that same world I once loved. Because of this I am very much a “if you want
something done (not necessarily right, just done), you need to do it yourself.”
Because of being burned before I always prefer to do things myself; that way I know
it’s done and done the way I want it/need it to be.
Because of my experiences I have a hard time having faith in
people and their ability to follow through with what they say they will do, or
asking for help because I don’t trust people to do what they say. Although I
WANT to believe they will come through, more often than not I find myself
expecting the “inevitable” and not being surprised when people do let me down.
Yes, I understand what you put out to the Universe is what you get in return, but this
is just something I’m really struggling with. I WANT to be that person who
trusts people at their word rather than looking at it with skepticism and
setting people up to fail before they've even begun.
How does one regain faith in people? Because I’ll admit, I
have none.
3 comments:
I think this is one of the hardest aspects of life. When others disappoint you, it is very hard to trust again, to have faith that they will do what they say they'll do or what you need them to do. My suggestion is to start small, with one person at a time. You have to go into this understanding that no one (including yourself) is perfect, and that the longer you associate with someone, the more likely they will hurt you at some point. You will probably also hurt and disappoint them over the course of your relationship. You have to remind yourself (sometimes over and over again) that most people don't hurt or disappoint you on purpose. Sometimes it's forgetfulness; sometimes it's simply misunderstanding the request or need. On the rare occasion, it is intentional; these times are the exception, not the rule. Also, if you let someone know that they have let you down, you will find resolution more quickly and easily.
Okay, now for the religious aspect of this advice (so if you would rather not hear this part of it or if you are bitterly opposed to LDS doctrine, you can stop reading now): through His atoning sacrifice, Jesus Christ has already suffered not only for every sin committed in the world, but also the pain of the wronged. He knows everything you are feeling. He has experienced everything you are going through. He has also already paid the price for the person who has wronged you, whether they care to take advantage of His Gift or not. Because of this, we can turn to Him to let go of our pain and hurt and anger towards others. Make no mistake that I think this is an easy process, but it is much easier than carrying it around. Jesus wants us to put our burdens on Him (My yoke is easy, and my burden is light).
I also believe that the best revenge isn't served cold. It's served very warm because it's love and forgiveness. If someone has intentionally hurt you, the best way to "get back" at them is to forgive and forget (as in forget the pain they caused you; not necessarily forgetting the action itself, though that can also come over time). Otherwise, you run the risk of letting them control your thoughts and sometimes your actions.
I love you muchly, my dear dear Kristen. And I know that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ know and love you beyond what we can fully comprehend right now. And They know you better than you know yourself. Trust in Them, and allow Them to help you learn to trust others again.
I have found through my own life experiences I am no longer generous with my trust. I used to say, "I trust you, until I have a reason not to." I have come to a sad conclusion that the world will never ever live up to my expectations. So I have learned to greatly lower them. However, since I am raising three young girls and want to give them the chance to build their own level of trust in the world I had to devise I plan of action for them. While I am happy to shut off parts of the world I no longer tolerate, it's unfair for me to impose that boundary on them/ for them. I teach them to look for the good people. When my daughter comes home crying because another girl spreads around lies about her, I tell her to ignore and look for the good people. There will always be negative. So find the good. it's the only way we'll survive.
I have lost a whole lot of faith in humanity. I myself am cynical and rarely believe people at first glance. (I think that's mainly why I don't have very many friends.) But drawing on my religious faith also tells me the world has to get worse before the Lord comes again, so in a way I welcome it. I have a steady diet of looking for the good while wading through the crap knowing the crap is what will eventually usher in the peace my soul hungers for in humanity. And there fore I am settled with it.
I hope you find the good and make peace with the crap. You're Amazing!!
Such a great post! Boo to all those people who have ruined the world for us. I love you a lot and empathize with your situation. People suck, that is all. the end.
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