excited and scared

Last year I moved into my first place. About six months into my lease the honeymoon wore off and it has been an...um...interesting experience since. If it's not completely useless management who can't answer simple maintenance requests or noise complaints or it's my downstairs neighbor smoking in his bathroom with the vent on making HIS second hand smoke vent into MY bathroom and adjoining bedroom and getting mad at ME when I politely ask him not to anymore it's the super young twenty somethings that took over chain smoker's apartment four months ago. They think that apartment shaking bass and drunken parties complete with barf all over the sidewalk every weekend are super fun. Ironically enough they are considerate enough to adhere to the "quiet time" hours; it's just the rest of the time they are a thorn in my side. Needless to say I am not the least. bit. happy.

Couple that with my well-meaning mother and sister telling me I need to buy a house and what do you get? Someone who is willing to consider something she hadn't even fathomed, that's what.

In other words....

I'm looking to buy a house. A HOUSE. Like a free-standing building. That I will live in. And OWN.

This weekend I called the "awesome" realtor who helped Superman Lover find and buy his first place. Well not really. I mentioned what I was considering and that I needed help. He came to my rescue and volunteered to send said realtor an email. Said Realtor called and left me a message this morning I have yet to return--no I'm not procrastinating...ok, maybe I am. A little.

I have been in a constant state of panic/shock/excitement/worry/stress/anxiety/disbelief/surrealism since the decision was made. I am still convinced I am not grown-up OR rich enough to be making such a huge decision--I mean come on. The biggest thing I've bought to date is a car and that's nothing compared to a HOUSE. I didn't want to be a single homeowner, but I'm tired of waiting for other people (read=stupid yet completely loveable men who are/have dragging (ed) their feet in popping the question), so I'm gonna see if I can do it on my own now.

I'm not holding any high hopes for anything because I'm still in my lease for another seven months, I hadn't planned on looking until after I was married so I have ZERO money saved for anything home related, and I'm fairly sure I won't be able to get a mortgage for close to what I'm paying in rent now. My mother DID make the comment "what's the harm in looking? If you find something, great, if not it's just experience for when you DO buy a house." And although I don't typically like to waste people's time I have to think she's right--again.

In other words I'm' hoping for the best, planning for the worst, and keeping my expectations low. I'll let you know how it goes.