Thursday, December 29, 2011

couch potato

I have a confession. My name is Miss Kristen and I am a bona fide couch potato.
I had been living in a state of denial until earlier this week. You see, until recently all I've had is the red couch I bought almost new off of ksl two years ago. Although it serves its purpose it has HUGE back rest cushions that have a tendency to take up the entire couch, making it hard to stay seated on the thing; forget about lounging on it. Until...

Fast forward to two weeks ago. LB2 and SIL2 came to Salt Lake for brother's work. They brought me a glorious gift: a Love Sak. Not just any Love Sak. The big one. The one that's so big it takes up my living room. The one so big Mr. Wonderful and I don't have to be contortion experts to snuggle on and watch a movie. The one that's so big there's no way I could have afforded it-sand neither could they had it not been LB2's last employee purchase before changing jobs. That Love Sak.

You guys, it's like sitting in a hug. I've napped in it several times. It's where I sought respite after the horrific event that was last Wednesday. It's also where I have sorry to admit I have  begun to forge many a bad habit. Bad habits like eating garden veggie reduced cal cream cheese and triscuits. Catching up on the last five episodes of Glee--in one sitting. Simply sitting and doing nothing. It's a major time suck, but I love it.

If these weren't indicators enough of my current plight I got excited planning my first free evening in almost a month as sitting in the hug and catching up on the Grey's, New Girl, Once Upon a Time, and How I Met Your Mother quickly accumulating on the DVR.

You guys, it's bad. I know I shouldn't, but I just can't get enough of this thing. Everyone should have a Love Sak! If being a couch potato is wrong I don't wanna be right...ok, maybe I do, but it's gonna be a hard thing to give up for sure.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

things that must go

I will freely admit that for reasons unknown to me I was a complete and utter Grinch this Christmas. You would think I would have been ecstatic because it was the first Christmas I spent up here with Mr. Wonderful and his family. I was-at first, but as the day got closer I just became sadder which I then allowed to turn into anger over what I was missing down south.  Allow me to clarify and say this was not the first Christmas I had ever spent away from my own family, so I still don’t understand what my deal was. Although this was not foreign territory to me all I could focus on was the fact I was missing them something fierce.
I feel  bad for Mr. Wonderful and his family-they have convinced themselves that I didn’t have a good time and I don’t like their traditions-I did, and I do-and I am so thankful that they welcomed me with loving and open arms. I just missed my family and our traditions.

In an effort to get rid of my Grinchiness and have a better outlook for the impending New Year I feel it’s necessary to perform an exorcism of sorts. I present here for your reading enjoyment my  most recent list of things that must go-if you want butterflies and rainbows you need to stop reading now because this ain’t gonna be pretty:

Announcing huge life events via updating your status. I get that you’re happy. I get that you want to share your good news with everyone in the quickest way possible. What I don’t get is how the second you get the ring on your finger or the baby in your belly you are too quick to forget the people in your life who want that very thing but keep falling short. You may not think it’s a big deal, but it stings. A LOT. Maybe you should check your empathy button before you go off on how you are so happy and how you can’t believe your wait is finally over, and how it’s everything you want it to be and MORE, and how lucky in love you are—ESPECIALLY when the platform you are proclaiming this from gives the recipient no warning, and no ability to filter it until AFTER it’s been read. I get you’re happy, but your insensitivity is breaking a lot of hearts.

Sending mass texts about said life event AFTER you’ve posted on Facebook. I already was blindsided on facebook. I don’t need you to add insult to injury via text. If I can muster my fake mommy smile long enough to be polite I’ll pass along congratulations. If you go fishin for congratulations before I’m ready to play nice you won’t like the results.  

Face-boxing. If I want a steady stream of political bashing I will join a political site. If I want to read your latest dramatic diatribe I’ll subscribe to your blog. I’m on Facebook to keep in touch and because it’s mindless fun. Facebook is not your personal soap box. Let’s keep it light and fun, people!

Facebook over-shares. On that same note Facebook is not a place to over share. I don’t need to know about your cramps, or how you’ve been puking your guts out the last three days, or how your sister’s labor is progressing (*guilty* and lesson learned within 30 seconds of hitting ‘send’).  I don’t log in to be made uncomfortable or grossed out. Save the gross stuff for your doctor and give me the funny you tube videos and picture parodies.

Repeats on FoodNetwork. It’s bad enough that I have to have you on and be tormented by your deliciousness all day, but come on. You are an older station with quite the archive of shows. I shouldn’t be seeing the same episodes of Paula Deen, Gi-a-DUH, and Rachel Ray all week. It’s ok to mix it up peeps.

Giada. If her necklines get any lower or her hairstyles any higher she’s a gold chain away from being a bad Italian stereotype. It’s bad enough you named your kid the English translation of your OWN name, but if  I have to hear you over pronounce ‘Riz-oh-TOE’, ‘pah-st-AH’, ‘mas-ca-PONY cheese’, ‘pan-chain-TAH’, ‘CRRReamy’, ‘CRRRunchy’, or ‘CRRRust’ again I might just need to put my head through a wall.

People who should be riding on the short bus rather than driving it. Driving is a privilege, not a right. Do us all a favor, pull your head out of your ass, and quit driving like you own the road. You don’t, and I’m tired of having to up my defensive driving game because you don’t understand how a merge works.

Doing all the work so someone else gets all the credit. You didn’t do it all on your own. Recognize that. Makes it easier for me to WANT to help you next time.

People shortening my name. It still isn’t cute, and it still bugs the hell out of me. STOP.

Forcing me to repeat myself.  Making me say the same thing over and over again only confirms your stupidity and irritates the hell out of me. You won’t get a different answer no matter how many times you re-word your question. Shut you mouth, open your ears, and we’ll all get along great.

Drama Queens. I have enough drama in my own life. I don’t need you trying to suck me into yours.

The Inversion. I miss sounding like a girl, not an 80-year old chain smoker. And breathing. The non-smoker smoker’s hack has got to go too.

Finding a place to move/moving. I hate where I live. I think I hate trying to find a place to live more. Although I have a few options available to me I don’t want to make the same mistake I made two years ago by not looking and blindly jumping into the first option presented to me. I’m down to three weeks, no time to look, and stress levels rising. Not to mention finding time to actually pack and GET moved once I figure out where.

And that is my list of things that must go, and I am already feeling better. Whoda thunk it?

Thursday, December 15, 2011

christmas soap box

I am fortunate enough to know people from all different walks of life. Gay, straight, Jew, Christian, Agnostic, Atheist, liberal, and conservative. We don’t always see eye to eye, but I will always love them.

The other day one of my friends got their knickers in a twist on Facebook about how they felt that the Christ part of Christmas was being shoved down their throat, and saying ‘Happy Holidays’ was the more ‘appropriate’ thing to say. Can I digress for one minute and tell you just how much I hate Facebook soap-boxing? A lot.

I try to be a live and let live type, but this irked me. Just because I choose to celebrate Christmas doesn’t mean I’m shoving a Christian agenda down your throat. It just means I’m wishing you a Merry Christmas because that’s the holiday I observe. It is as impossible to celebrate Christmas without Christ as it is to celebrate your birthday without you.

Yes I know many of our Christmas traditions originated from Pagan and Druid traditions, but the reason for the season has always remained the same. I don’t celebrate the tradition, I celebrate CHRIST. If you don’t like it, tough.

 I don’t get offended as a Christian when someone wishes me Happy Holidays, or Kwanzaa, or Hanukkah, or whatever it is they believe. I don’t understand why these same people who talk about equality and open-mindedness are usually the first ones to cry foul when people say we need to keep Christ in CHRISTmas. Did I miss something here?

Why is it so hard for so many people to actually practice what they preach? I merely proclaim that I am Christian; I have never shoved my beliefs down anyone’s throat and I understand what anyone else chooses to believe is their choice. It’s annoying to me that for some you’re only allowed to believe what you want-as long as it falls in line with that they themselves believe.

Please know that although I believe Christ needs to be the center of Christmas I am NOT forcing my beliefs on you when I wish you “Merry Christmas”, I am merely wishing you a Merry Christmas because I am Christian and Christmas is what I celebrate.  

Happy Christmas everyone!!


Thursday, December 08, 2011

kristen's kitchen:trainwreck omelette

Hello dear readers. It is I. No, I didn't fall off the face of the earth. You would think that once I started Caroling I would have loads of stories to tell. Nope. I'm very very boring. Maybe once I'm there all week (that starts TONIGHT btw) I'll have stories to tell. Today I just have a recipe to share.
After my parents moved to St George I moved in with my Aunt Joan and Uncle Brad. My Uncle Brad (the Bradster) created a dish called the Trainwreck Omelette. It's fast, easy, and delish. You can add whatever you want to it, and there's really no measurements. You just have to feel it out. This round I made WAY too much, so I adjusted it before I posted here. Hopefully I got the quantities worked out so this will serve one-depending on how hungry you are.  

Ingredients

9 Tater tots
1 large egg
Shredded cheese
Salt and pepper (to taste)


Nuke tater tots for 15-30 seconds to soften up a bit then place in skillet. Heat over medium heat for 2-3 minutes until they have a little color and are easily mashed with a potato masher.
Yes I know there's more than 9 tots in there. I told you I WAY over shot.

While tots are heating scramble eggs in a bowl with salt and pepper. If you are adding additional ingredients add them to the eggs. Grate desired amount of cheese. Set both aside.

When tots are heated through gently mash until they are broken apart. Add salt and pepper, turn heat to medium high and finish heating through and are lightly crisp. (They'll stick/clump together so you may need to flip like a pancake.)


Turn heat to medium medium-low and pour beat eggs over tots. Gently stir to incorporate but be sure tots and eggs are even to ensure even cooking. Once eggs start to set turn heat to low and cover to cook the top of the eggs. You can flip it instead if you want, but I'm not coordinated enough to do it without ruining it.

* NOTE* Make sure all your prep is done BEFORE you pour the eggs. This round was way over-cooked  because I was trying to watch them and grate cheese...well that and I may or may not have forgotten to turn down my stove.


Once eggs are cooked, sprinkle with grated cheese, turn off heat, and place lid back on pan. The residual heat will melt the cheese.

Once cheese is melted serve immediately. I like mine with avocado, cholula, and a cottage cheese pear side, but you can do whatev. Enjoy!


Mr. Wonderful works swing now, so I will give you a rating of delish! It's super versatile and you can add whatever you want...if you do let me know how it works out! I'm thinking next time I'll try some spinach and mushrooms. The tricky part is mastering the measurements for the size of group you're making.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

burning the candle at both ends

I either did the coolest-or dumbest thing ever...
I know you're all thinking that's not possible, but believe me friends. It is. It really is.

Monday while I was at caroler rehearsal I received a text from my good friend Don Quixote that read:

"Are you familiar with the musical 'The Spitfire Grill'"?

Not sure where this was headed I replied "I'm not, but I can be if you need me to be. What's up?"

Well, my friends it turns out that he is directing this show and would like me to play the role of Effie. I must admit I know very little about this show, and although it's been well-received everywhere there's not much information on the interwebs. My friend Piano Man assures me that this is a wonderful ensemble show and Effie is a role I would be stupid to pass up. A non-ensemble role that the director wants me for? Without an audition? I know I'm fiercely talented and I deliver when it counts, but I also know I am no good at auditioning. This makes earning the right to deliver on stage difficult. I've had a few close friends who have seen me audition confirm this to me too so I know it's not just my perception.

With that being said: of course I'm gonna do it!

Here comes the stupid part.

Rehearsals will start while I'm in the middle of Candlelight Christmas. This going right along with fitting in a post-Christmas jaunt to St George with Mr. Wonderful, my own Christmas celebrations, shopping, altering my caroler dress-oh I didn't mention that? Well for the first time EVER the damn thing is too big in the bodice and has to be taken in. Like TEN INCHES. I'm not joking. The thing is HUGE. Thank goodness I was born into a sewing family. Oh and did I also mention we're singing for the FIRST PRESIDENCY now too? Well we are. Oh, and I'm still a day late and a dollar short on my music. Ack.

Phew. Now that I'm looking at it, that's a lot-and I'm not even trying to fit in silly stuff like the gym, eating, or sleep. This is the first time I have been grateful Mr. Wonderful is now on swing shift at work-I don't have to feel guilty for neglecting him.

Don Quixote is wonderful and must really want me, because even with the uncertainty of my schedule he said we'll make it work. I'm excited...well excited and scared. Ok. Mostly scared that in my inability to say "no" I've bitten off more than I can chew and am now just waiting for it all to explode on me. But come on. I've gotta do it, right? RIGHT? I'm not complaining, I promise. I'm just not sure how this all happened to me. This sort of thing never happens to people like me. I'm the one who's looking for things to do, not how to make them all fit. I'm awed and flattered and have had my ego sufficiently stroked-all at once.

We shall see if it's epic or just an epic fail.

attitude of gratitude: day 2

Today I am thankful for:

1) Mr. Wonderful's silly sense of humor that reminds me to not take myself so seriously.
2) My mother who is willing to drive 400 miles to help me alter the bodice on my caroler dress.
3) My Aunt Joanie who has stepped in to help alter said dress.
4) my crock pot-dinner will be DONE when I get home!
5) A car that works.

Wednesday, November 09, 2011

thankful: Sparky

Four and a half years ago I did a show. I'm still in awe about how much that one experience changed my life.
It was that experience that blessed me with one of the most important people in my life.

Last night we were talking about how we are both in a funk as of late and have no idea (or a good reason) as to why. I suggested we make lists of five things we are grateful for every day without repeating through November. It can be big or small, as long as we are grateful for it then. I then suggested we text them to each other to make us accountable for it. He agreed, and here we are.

Tis the season, and if you'll humor me, I am going to share my lists with you each day. Although this isn't the list I sent him today I find it fitting mine should start with the person who inspired the idea. My Sparky.



He's silly.



He supports me in everything I do.


He has the best picture face. No really, he does.


He's oh so strong!


He can make his legs dissappear!

 He survived an ENTIRE week of Disneyland with me.
Not only did he not kill me, but three years later still tells me that was the
best trip he's ever been on (and he's been around) and that we HAVE to do it again.

Yes, it's fun and silly, but in all seriousness I wouldn't trade my Sparky for anything in the world. He is my doppelganger (well, if I were a gay man anyway), a huge support to me, we can literally go MONTHS without talking and pick up right where we left off, we can get into the deep stuff conversations, he lets me tell him that he's being dumb without taking it personally (and vice versa), he knows me ALMOST as well as Mr. Wonderful and can read my moods at a glance, he will go see a cheesy community production of whatever with me without complaint, and quote random lines from Steel Magnolias with me. Above all he is my friend and such a huge blessing in my life. It may seem simple, but that's what our friendship is. Marvelously simple, which is exactly what each of us needs. I am so grateful I will always be his Foxy.


Tuesday, November 01, 2011

i guess i didn't get the memo

I don't know about you all, but my Halloween was pretty lack luster. So much so that I'm kinda losing faith in the holiday...

I had only four trick-or-treaters-yes you read that right. I said FOUR-and I know I live in an apartment, but come on, it's practically kid central here. Plus I had my cute, fun Halloween wreath up to prove I am TOTALLY legit and everything! Pathetic, yes? Well I can top that...I was one of three people at work who didn't get the memo you don't celebrate Halloween ON Halloween anymore...oh well. At least I looked cute and I got to wear jeans to work on a Monday.


On a happier note my butternut squash and freshly baked rolls were delish...recipe to follow soon after I tweak it a little more.

Side side note...I just looked out the window and it's SNOWING. Yuck. At least we got a little bit of a fall before the Christmas crazies got their way.

Monday, October 24, 2011

make a joyful noise

Well, folks carolers rehearsals are now in full-swing. Aside from being behind because I'm a newb and learning everything from scratch instead of refreshing, it's rad. I haven't been in an honest-to-goodness choir for almost eight years and I had forgotten how happy choral singing makes me. There is nothing better to hear than a talented ensemble singing 8-part harmony. It's rad-I can't say that enough lately.

Last week I got some news. I don't know if it's a done deal so I doubt I'm supposed to tell, but we're all friends here so I'm gonna. But first a smidge of background:

As you are all aware, This is the Place Heritage Park is run largely in part by the LDS (Mormon) church. Because of this the "world" is pretty small.

Last week the person over the Heritage Carolers got a call. What kind of call you ask? Well an invitation. Not just any invitation, mind  you. An invitation for our little group to sing for the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

Yes, you read that right.



MoTab.

  








The Mormon.

                       Freaking.

                                  Tabernacle.

                                                      Choir.



My old Institute Choir director is a member.
No pressure or anything Kristen.

Needless to say I'm excited. Well excited and scared. Alright, mostly scared. I haven't been this excited since my A'Cappella choir was invited to sing with the Utah Symphony my Senior year.

We're awesome, but it's the freaking Mormon Tabernacle Choir for crying out loud!  Here's hoping it doesn't fall through and make a liar out of me. Regardless of whether or not that happens you need to pencil "A Candlelight Christmas" into your holiday schedule. As of right now I am the Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday cast. Those are all the specifics I know right now. I will definitely keep you all posted, and I must say although we are only two weeks in, we have an AWESOME music director, and we are already sounding pretty darn incredible, so I know it'll only get better from here.

You're missing out if you decide not to come!



Saturday, October 15, 2011

the best is yet to come

Today is Mr. Wonderful and I’s anniversary. I always feel odd saying that. Why, you may ask? Well the answer is three-fold.

1. We started dating in July ‘07, but we didn’t decide to make it exclusive until that October. I say we started dating July, he says it doesn't count because we weren't officially a couple until October, so it can get confusing.

2. We’re not married, so I always feel a little odd celebrating the fact we’re committed but not committed in the bonds of matrimony...

3. We’ve been together for four years and still aren’t married. Although that’s not unusual outside of Utah, it is here-the state of child brides and marriages after knowing each other two weeks. Around the two-year mark I started getting the well-meaning but does-nothing-but-come-off-as-condescending-and-judgemental comments like: “why do you stay with him?”, “you should tell him it’s time to shit or get off the pot.”, and my personal favorite, “may I ask why you’re not married yet?” Which seems innocent enough, but is a cloak-and-dagger attempt to get me to spill, which usually ends up with them giving me “advice” wrapped in a heavy dose of judgment. Ugh. Suffice it to say it is NOT a matter of "IF", but "WHEN". Our ducks just need to be in a row first.
I digress. This post is about Mr. Wonderful, not the stupid mc stupids and their hurtful well-meaning comments.  

So here for your reading enjoyment is a few of the reasons I love Mr. Wonderful so.

-He willingly-and patiently puts up with me and my hot-headedness on a daily basis.
-He’s SO handsome.
-He can play ‘Seven Degrees of Kevin Bacon’ with ANY actor-case in point: His brother in law tried to stump him with Charlie Chaplin. He had to use IMDB to get started, but he did it.
-He is patient.
-It took him a year to decide to buy his "big ass tv"-he doesn't take making big decisions lightly.
-He plays with me (not THAT kind of playing, get your mind out of the gutter!)
-He makes me laugh and we laugh together every day.

-He is full of surprises-I never cease to be amazed by him.
-He is an awesome cuddler.
-He loves my family ALMOST as much as they love him, and there was no awkward time with them. He has been a member of my family since the second he met them.
-He is a good teacher.
-He is SO smart.
-He is not afraid or ashamed to be himself. Because of this I'm not afraid to be myself either.
-He is a big kid in a grown-up's body.

-He brings out the best in me.
-He is patient.
-He is kind.
-He is thoughtful and considerate of others.
-He tells and shows me every day how much he loves me.
-He makes me want to be a better person.
-He got me interested in gems like 'The Walking Dead', 'Being Human', 'Supernatural', 'Avatar', and The Dresden Files books.
-He can quote ‘Ghostbusters’ verbatim-which is fun until you try to watch the re-release in the theater, then it’s obnoxious. Adorable, but obnoxious.

-Chivalry is not dead with him. He is always opening my doors, making sure I’m happy and taken care of, and he always puts himself between me and any potential danger.
-He gives the best back rubs. (I’m a trained Massage Therapist so I know.)
-He has seen me at my best and my worst. Not only does he still love me, but he also still thinks I’m beautiful.
-Speaking of beauty he tells me every day how beautiful I am.

-He is a Marvel nerd-and it is adorable.
-Kids LOVE him, and he doesn't mind when they use him as a human jungle gym.
-I know he'll be a great dad. Firm but fair.
-The longer we are together the more I love him. We just get better and better as a couple-cheesy, but true.
-He knows how to fight fair, is willing to compromise, and he’ll admit when he’s wrong and apologize.
-He has the best voice. It is calming and comforting, and just nice to hear.
-He grounds me. Just seeing him is enough to make a bad day better.
-He isn't afraid to call me on my crap-and he's never a jerk about it.
-He never says ‘I’ or ‘me’. It’s always ‘we’ and ‘us’.
-He is respectful. Not only to me, but to others as well.
-He loves the Gospel and is a good example to everyone-especially me.
-He humors my Disneyland obsession.
Don't be fooled. He only looks miserable because he was.
First vacation in seven years and he got the swine flu. Go figure.
-He is supportive of me in everything I do-even if he doesn't get it ie my love of theatre.
-He is the one who encouraged me to start taking tap again and every week he asks me to show him what I learned. He thinks it's great-even if I have to start over three times. :)
-He is my best friend and my rock. I couldn’t ask for a better man.
-Aaaand just when I thought he couldn't amaze me more, he had these delivered to me at work yesterday...
Yes they're delicious, and no I'm not sharing!

The longer I sit here the longer this list gets, so I'll wrap it up. Suffice it to say I am truly truly blessed with the best man. We have had our ups and downs, and it hasn't been sunshine and roses every step of the way, but he is my best friend, my rock, and I couldn't ask for a better person to have along for the ride.
If this is just a glimmer of the future we have together-man oh man, what a lucky girl I am! The best is definitely yet to come!

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

wordless wednesday

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mask824/leia-the-riveter-kwh

Monday, October 10, 2011

it's a major award

Mr. Parker: [unveiling his major award] Would you look at that? Would you look at THAT?
Mother: What is it?
Mr. Parker: It's a leg!
Mother: But what is it?
Mr. Parker: Well, it's... A leg, you know, like a statue.
Mother: Statue?
Mr. Parker: Yeah, statue.
Ralphie: Yeah, statue.
Mother: Ralphie!
Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] My mother was trying to insinuate herself between us and the statue.  Parker: Holy smokes. Do... Do you know what this is? This is... A lamp!
Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] It was indeed a lamp.
Mr. Parker: Isn't that great? What a great lamp.
Mother: I don't know...
Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] The old man's eyes boggled...
Mr. Parker: Oh WOW!
 
Well folks, we're only 10 days into the month of October, but the battle of the leg lamp has officially begun.
For those of you who don't know my favorite Christmas movie is 'A Christmas Story'. If you aren't familiar don't tell me, just go here.
 
Six Christmases ago my parents bestowed upon me the greatest gift ever-they built me a leg lamp-complete with 'FRAGILE' (frag-ee-lay) crate. I love it, Mr. Wonderful hates it. Every year around this time he starts to gripe about it-how it's the ugliest thing he's ever seen, usually as melodramatically as possible. Although it always begins in jest it usually ends in the silent treatment.
 
It's a losing battle for us; I will never get rid of it and he will never like it. I just wonder if we argue about it this much now-what will it be like once we're married? (No, that's not an announcement.) Mr. Wonderful and I agree/can come to a compromise on everything else-except this. To me it's not Christmas unless the leg lamp is in the window and Mr. Wonderful claims his is ruined if it's up. Who knew something so silly and fun could bring out such passion? I now have a better understanding of the tension between Mother and The Old Man because of it.
 


What say ye? Do any of you married folks have things you brought into the marriage that the spouse HATES? Did they bring something you hate? I'm pretty sure Mr. Wonderful and I will have to agree to disagree on this one-he'll make sure the tree is gorgeous, and I'll make sure the lamp where it should be...right next to the tree in all its glory...
 

 

Thursday, October 06, 2011

i'd tap that

I've had a fascination with tap for as long as I can remember. My Grammy V would make us tapes with movies recorded off of cable for our birthdays (wow I just dated myself there...), movies like Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, the Glass Bottom Boat, Pillow Talk, Katy the Caterpillar, and my personal favorite, the Shirley Temple movies.

Captain January

I remember watching these movies and wanting to dance like her-I may have even fast forwarded to the dance scenes...as I got older I remember being so jealous that my neighbors across the street were cloggers-I realize it wasn't tap, but it was close enough. I would put on my Sunday shoes and 'tap' on the kitchen floor. When I was a teenager I became mesmerized with the dance troupe Stomp!-yes I know they use percussion primarily, but watch the dancing. There is a LOT of tap influence there. I read an article in TV Guide and thought it was so cool that Nana Visitor-Major Kira for those not in the know-is also a tap dancer. I still watch biographies on Fred Astaire completely captivated. Hearing taps on a dance floor has always made me happy and has always been one of my most favorite sounds in the world.

Last year after a lifetime of wishing it was me, I finally decided it was time to make it happen. Using a referral from a friend the Bestie and I found and enrolled in a beginner tap class. It was horrible. The teacher was brilliant, but cold. She had trained with some very prestigious tap dancers-Gregory Hines being the one I remember best, and because of this she took herself far too seriously. Bestie and I were beginners so she was easily frustrated with us and our trying to learn AND have fun. Instead of helping us learn she focused on the more advanced dancers in the class leaving us to our own devices. We stopped going after that first month.

I was heartbroken. I wanted nothing more than to learn to tap and it wasn't as fun as I had expected it to be. I put hid my taps in the closet and wondered if I would ever find someone willing to teach me and let me take it seriously enough to learn, but lightly enough to enjoy it.

Then this summer I was in 'All Shook Up'. Our choreographer owns her own studio and I learned she would be offering an adult tap class in the fall, and our music director was the teacher! If any of you saw the show Patti choreographed the tap number in 'Blue Suede Shoes'-and most if not all of those guys had never tapped a day in their life. When she was done with them they looked UH-MAZING!! I was so jealous I wasn't in that number.

I started TLC tap in August and the last four weeks have been the best. experience. ever. I still have a long way to go and lots to learn, but I love it more and more with each class. Patti is a gifted dancer and a wonderful teacher-she will break a step down as much as you need it and wants you to succeed. We work hard, but we have the best time. It's awesome. I leave class each week sweaty and tired but as happy as can be. I can't wait to get better and be able to show people what I've learned. I can't say enough good things about Patti, the people in the class, and TLC dancers-check it out. They are RAD, and I have found something that makes me as happy as singing. Almost.


Sadly I have to take a little break so I can embark on my next big adventure-rehearsals for Heritage Carolers starts this week and rehearsal conflicts with class-but I WILL be back. I am considering taking Stephanie's advice and taking another class during the week to stay in the habit--it all depends on how full my plate gets once rehearsals are in full swing. Oh! Speaking of swing Mr Wonderful bought me six weeks of swing lessons for my birthday so we might just do that. Yes he's willingly offering to take a couple's dance class with me. And then taking me dancing once we learn how. Be jealous. Be very very jealous.


Monday, October 03, 2011

kristen's kitchen: roasted chicken

Up until a year ago nothing instilled fear in me like "roasting". I don't know why, but it always seemed so daunting, so scary, so HARD. Well folks I'm here to tell you that it's not as hard as it sounds. Actually it's a piece of cake.

Yesterday Mr. Wonderful and I got a well-deserved break from the one woman show of crazy that is his mother. He's been battling a cold the better part of the week and since his father and sister hate it (therefore making it difficult to serve for Sunday dinner), he decided he wanted roast chicken. I wanted something simple so I just did a basic recipe, but really the sky's the limit on this one.

I forgot to take pictures until after the fact, so you'll just have to use your imagination-again.

Roasted Chicken

1 whole chicken
olive oil
2 tsp salt
2 tsp pepper
1tsp garlic powder
2 tsp thyme
1 cup water or chicken/veggie stock
Roasting pan with or without rack-I don't use a rack but if you have one and want to use it, by all means do so.

Place racks so roasting pan will be in center of oven and preheat to 375F

Mix seasonings in a small bowl; set aside.

Prep your chicken:
Remove chicken from package and giblets from body cavity (Liver, kidneys, sometimes neck. You can cook these, but I think they're gross so I throw them away), and rinse inside and out with cool water. Drain well and place breast-up in roasting pan.  (I place the chicken in the roasting pan and prep it there. This helps to keep the mess and possible contamination to a minimum.)
Check to ensure all the excess fat and pin feathers are removed, and pat dry with a paper towel. This helps to ensure a crispy skin, not to mention using your kitchen towels is just gross.
If you didn't buy a pre-trussed chicken, do this now.

Trussing a chicken is easy-it just takes a little time to master:
Place bird breast-up in pan.
Cross drumsticks at 'ankles' and bind with kitchen twine. (easiest way is to make a slip knot and attach to the 'ankles' and kind of hog tie them together.) This doesn't need to be pretty; you just want them to stay together during cooking.

Once bird is trussed drizzle a little olive oil (about a tablespoon) over it and spread with hands-don't forget the body cavity. Then rub seasoning mixture on skin and inside cavity. Add 1c water or broth to pan cover if your roasting pan has a lid, and place in oven.

The cooking times will vary based on how big your bird is. The general rule for UNSTUFFED chicken is 20 minutes per pound of meat, plus an additional 10-20 minutes. Confused? Me too. This link is my go to-as it has a cooking guide, general info, and tips on how to make variations to the basic recipe. I am afraid to eat stuffing from body cavities, but I am not opposed to putting things in there for extra flavor. Just be sure to use caution if you do choose to use the stuffing from your bird.

I covered and roasted my bird for an hour and 35 minutes. Be sure to baste your bird every 15-20 minutes if it's covered, but watch it if you don't have a cover for your roasting pan. You don't want the juices to cook off and dry the meat out. To baste you don't need anything fancy, just a large serving spoon. Just remove bird from oven, close the door to retain the heat, and spoon the juices over the bird. Recover, and put back in oven. If you want to roast veggies with your chicken don't put those in until the last 30 minutes-unless you like mushy veggies.

After the initial roasting time I like to put it uncovered into a 450 degree oven for an additional 10-15 minutes to brown and crisp up the skin.

The best way to check if your bird is done is to use a meat thermometer inserted into the thickest part of the thigh without touching the bone. Once it reads 180 you are good. If you don't have a thermometer there are other ways to check for doneness-the easiest is to cut between the leg and thigh and be sure the juices run clear.

Once bird is cooked remove to a plate, cover with foil, and allow to rest for at least 15 minutes. Resting allows for the juices to redistribute in the meat. If you cut the meat before it's had time to rest you lose all the cooking juices onto your cutting board and get dry meat. So do it. It's worth it. Plus it gives you time to make pan gravy with the drippings:

chicken gravy
1cup cold water
3tsp cornstarch
chicken drippings
milk or water

Place roasting pan on burner over medium heat. Mix water and cornstarch in small cup until blended and there are no lumps.
Whisk cornstarch mixture into drippings and stir continuously until thickened and everything is incorporated. If the gravy thickens too fast whisk in milk/water a little at a time until it reaches desired consistency.
Remove from heat and serve immediately with mashed taters or over the meat.

Carving your bird takes some practice, but super easy once you get the hang of it. Good reference link is here



Mr. Wonderful rating: went back for thirds...had to threaten him to leave some chicken for chicken noodle soup later in the week...

Friday, September 30, 2011

busy but beautiful

Three days, three craft stores, a ton of floral wire, a tacky glue mess, more glitter than a gay club, numb bum from sitting on the floor, and tired, purple fingers I have finished my Halloween wreath. I couldn't be more excited about it.

It probably would have been less stressful-and cheaper-to just buy a ready made wreath-I only had a vague idea of what I wanted it to look like so I bought whatever looked cute-I must admit I'm pretty happy with how this turned out. I don't know why, but I think the fact it's busy is what makes it work and I'm super happy with the results.



What say ye?

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

hallowthanksmas

I remember a time-eleven years to be exact-when I would get weird looks for telling people I was prepping my Halloween costume in August. I was Aurora that year-my mom made the pattern for my (blue) dress from scratch using the patterns for a wedding dress, a little kid's Disney Princess pattern, and her brain to make it work. Yes, my mom is that boss.

My my how things have changed. My friend Liss mentioned on Facebook this week she wanted to make a Halloween wreath. I commented that I would like to make one too-because in this age of zombies and gore it's next to impossible to find a cute, whimsical Halloween anything. We decided to go Tuesday after her class.

 Last night I walked into Michaels and was accosted with Christmas-call me crazy, but we haven't even killed the pumpkins yet-so why in the hell are we already counting down to Christmas?!?!! I am SO against celebrating the next holiday before the previous has past I have known to be bugged to the point of violence- my friend posted a Christmas countdown on FB the other day. She was promptly hidden after I told her how WRONG that was-and THAT was at someone I love. True story. I'm sorry. I digress.

What little Halloween stuff we could find behind the Christmas crap had either been picked clean through, was on 40% sale, or final clearance. An entire MONTH before Halloween. Great deals for me and my friend, but talk about putting the horse before the cart!

The lesson I learned is this: people are WAY too eager to get to Christmas, and waiting until September 27th to look for stuff to make a Halloween wreath may seem reasonable, but it is both unwise and like waiting until Christmas Eve to start your shopping. Looks like I was onto something eleven years ago and will need to start planning for Halloween in August--or better yet-July.

What happened to celebrating each holiday and enjoying what each had to offer? Now we just burn through them in eager anticipation of the next. It's sick I tell you, sick.

(I'm still in the market for a plain Halloween wreath that I can make pretty. I still have to try Hobby Lobby and Joann's, but if you see/know of anything, let me know.)

Apparently some ingenious person sells Hallowthanksmas cards and this is the site where I stole borrowed this creative artwork. http://hallowthanksmas.com/

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Saturday, September 17, 2011

mama mel's super easy rice pilaf and kristen's grilled brussel sprouts

After my traumatizing revelation (on my birthday of all days), I regained the resolve to get my body back. Believe it or not I was not always the blob you all know and love-I did have an actual figure at one point. I just love food WAY too much and don't love the gym enough.

So last night I decided that grilled chicken was the way to go. Mr. Wonderful thinks I'm weird, but I was raised that a meal consisted of a protein, a vegetable, and a starch. So I put him in charge of choosing the veggies and picked up some lovely chicken breasts and the fixin's for my mom's rice pilaf. Once you try this you will never make it from the box again. Although this is the recipe I learned-I would imagine you can make it with any ingredients you want-the technique is all the same. I didn't think to take pictures until the end so you're gonna have to use your imagination on the prep steps.

Momma Mel's super easy rice pilaf (serves 2-4)



1/2 lb Crimini mushrooms (Liss, I'm sure you could sub zucchini or artichoke hearts for these. If you play around let me know what you come up with.)
1 medium yellow onion, diced
1-2 cloves of chopped garlic-depending on how big they are
2 stalks celery, diced (optional-but I like the crunch and texture they add.)
Rice prepared according to package directions (I use brown minute rice because of my inability to not burn regular rice)
Olive oil (my mom uses butter cause she's old school, but I'm trying to keep it figure friendly)
salt and pepper (S&P)

Prepare rice according to directions. Set aside.

Heat medium sized sauce pan over medium heat, add a few tablespoons olive oil (I usually go around the pan once or twice), and a pinch of salt. When oil is warm-NOT hot, add onions and celery. Sweat onions and celery until they are tender-we aren't using these in a white sauce or soup, so if they have a little color, that's ok. You just don't want them sauteed. Once onions and celery are tender, add mushrooms, garlic, and a little more S&P* to pan. I usually need to add a little more olive oil to cook the mushrooms, but this is all to taste. (Cook's note on garlic: be VERY careful when you're cooking garlic as it burns in the blink of an eye. I always add it very last regardless of what the recipe calls for and NEVER cook it over high heat. Try to keep it on medium to low whenever possible.)

Once mushrooms and garlic are cooked, push all veggies to the side and add rice.
heat rice through and add a little color with the residual oil in pan, then combine with veggies. Taste for seasoning, add more S&P if needed.

This dish is great with poultry and pork. Even BETTER on the next day.

Cook time: 20 minutes if you're using minute rice.
Mr. Wonderful rating: went back for seconds

*Most people wonder why their food still tastes bland although they follow the recipe. The secret is to taste and season your food with each step (unless you're dealing with raw meat-duh). The goal is to build flavor as you go. I add salt and pepper with each step rather than a ton at the end. You're cooking-it's allowed, even expected that you're tasting and checking for seasoning as you go.  No one likes to serve a dish when they don't know how it tastes. As long as you're tasting it you can tweak it however you need to. Always start small and build. Anyone who's over salted a dish will tell you that you can always add more, but once you've gone too far you're S.O.L.



Brussels Sprouts get a bad rap. They are one of my favorites and not just for Thanksgiving anymore! I cook these several ways, but Mr. Wonderful managed to find HUGE ones I decided to grill them instead of caramelize them on the stove like I usually do. They turned out so well I may just I refuse to put my grill away so I can make them outside for a while. If you don't want to grill 'em outside you can use your grill pan.



Kristen's Grilled Brussels Sprouts
*you can make as many or as little of these as you like-it's pretty impossible to mess this up.

Brussels Sprouts (I usually can't find them in bulk so I have to buy them in the 1-2lb prepackaged mesh bags. Those usually yield 2-6 servings depending on how much you serve and if you have to fight to keep the grazers at bay like me.)

1/4-1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2-1 teaspoon pepper
2-4 Tbsp Olive Oil

With a paring knife prep sprouts-trim bottoms (be sure to only cut off a little, you want them to stay together) and remove any wilted top leaves. Using a prep knife cut in half length-wise-you can use the paring knife to cut them if they're small, but I always recommend using the right tool for the job at hand.)
Place halves in a colander and rinse quickly with cool water and drain.
Put oil and S&P in medium to large bowl and lightly whisk together (keep in mind you will need room to toss the brussels sprouts).
Place drained sprouts in bowl and gently coat with oil mixture, adding more oil if necessary-they should look wet but NOT saturated-you are only adding enough moisture so they will steam as they are on the grill.
(Be careful with the sprouts as they will fall apart if you toss too hard-some leaves is normal-I always taste those to make sure my seasoning is on.)

Place sprouts cut side down on the grill and cook over medium heat. You want grill marks on the cut ends so
only turn once*. These will burn quickly so you will have to baby sit them.
Remove from grill and serve or you can add grated Parmesan/Romano cheese if you're feeling extra scandalous.

Prep time: 20 minutes
Mr. Wonderful rating: I have to threaten him with his life to leave leftovers for lunch.

*Cooks note: I prefer my vegetables to still have a little bite to them once they're done, but if you prefer a softer veggie do a quick blanch before you coat in oil and put on the grill.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

did you know?

Many cool (and not so cool) people were born today.

People like

Tommy Lee Jones

Merlin Olsen

Heidi Montag- I did say some not so cool people,
didn't I?


Oliver Stone


Prince Harry-I knew that I liked him for a reason. :)



And last but not least, the cute little blonde girl on the right:

                                             
 
 
Who grew up to be the cute brunette girl you all love:



Just a tip for the rest of you-unless you are a size 0 do not, I repeat do NOT get your BMI and body fat analysis done on your birthday. I was just bludgeoned with how much work I have to do (in the interest of full disclosure and to make up for yesterday I'm gonna tell you--but only if you promise not to judge me please! 26 BMI 33% body fat...boo on both counts so there is no birthday cake for me tonight!!).