blessed

As I sit waiting for my last pie to bake, enjoying the glorious sounds of my Christmas Pandora station, and wondering how in the world I'm going to get two pies, rolls, and yams to my In-Laws by myself as Mr. Wonderful will be going there straight from work, I decided rather than being overwhelmed by this task to be overwhelmed with gratitude instead. I needed to list the things I am thankful for, because I really am blessed.

• A loving Heavenly Father who blesses me with much more than I deserve. 
• The Guardian Angels He sent to keep my family safe on October 21. You guys. Their accident should have been so much worse than it was, but it wasn't because of Heavenly Father and His angels. God is good, and merciful, and sends angels to keep our loved ones safe. My beloved siblings are proof of that.
• An amazing husband who loves, cares for, and supports me, no matter how crazy the plan or hair-brained the scheme. I know every girl says this about their spouse, but Mr. Wonderful is pretty amazing, and I pretty much have to pinch myself every day because I still can't believe he chose me, the most undeserving of all. 
• My family. I was very blessed to be born into the family I was, and over the last few years my brothers have chosen the best women and as a result I have the best nieces and nephew. We're wild, crazy, and at times dysfunctional, but they are mine and I love them so much. 
• My new In-laws. Even before I married their son and brother they have welcomed me into their family with open arms and have made me a part of their family. 
• Technology. Yes it can be the bane of our existence at times, but it is also a huge blessing. Without it LB2 would have missed our wedding, but because of technology we were able to FaceTime him in from the hospital so he could watch and be a part of the ceremony. 
• Good friends. For fear of forgetting someone I won't name names, but I am so thankful for friends who love, support, lift me up, teach me, forgive when I mess up, and have been my family when I have needed one since mine is so far away. You step in to help with anything I need, big or small, giving of your time, labor, and talents, looking for nothing more than a smile and hug in return. If you're reading this odds are you are on this impossibly long list, and please know just how much I love you.
• Work. It's not all sunshine and roses, but there are a lot of people without work right now, so I know how incredibly blessed I am. 
• A healthy body. After all the health problems I was plagued with last year it made me love and appreciate my healthy body so much more. 
• My talents. Not only have I been blessed with many talents I am also blessed with the ability to share them with others regularly. That is pretty amazing! 
• THIS
• Parents who taught me to stand up for what is right, even if it doesn't make you popular, the value of things, not the cost, and that family is more precious than any thing you can possess. 

This is no where near the complete list, but brevity is the order of the day on this blog. Happy Thanksgivukkah to you all and don't be too gluttonous tonight!!

attitude of gratitude: day 2

Today I am thankful for:

1) Mr. Wonderful's silly sense of humor that reminds me to not take myself so seriously.
2) My mother who is willing to drive 400 miles to help me alter the bodice on my caroler dress.
3) My Aunt Joanie who has stepped in to help alter said dress.
4) my crock pot-dinner will be DONE when I get home!
5) A car that works.

thankful: Sparky

Four and a half years ago I did a show. I'm still in awe about how much that one experience changed my life.
It was that experience that blessed me with one of the most important people in my life.

Last night we were talking about how we are both in a funk as of late and have no idea (or a good reason) as to why. I suggested we make lists of five things we are grateful for every day without repeating through November. It can be big or small, as long as we are grateful for it then. I then suggested we text them to each other to make us accountable for it. He agreed, and here we are.

Tis the season, and if you'll humor me, I am going to share my lists with you each day. Although this isn't the list I sent him today I find it fitting mine should start with the person who inspired the idea. My Sparky.

He's silly.

He supports me in everything I do.

He has the best picture face. No really, he does.

He's oh so strong!

He can make his legs dissappear!

 He survived an ENTIRE week of Disneyland with me.

Not only did he not kill me, but three years later still tells me that was the

best trip he's ever been on (and he's been around) and that we HAVE to do it again.

Yes, it's fun and silly, but in all seriousness I wouldn't trade my Sparky for anything in the world. He is my doppelganger (well, if I were a gay man anyway), a huge support to me, we can literally go MONTHS without talking and pick up right where we left off, we can get into the deep stuff conversations, he lets me tell him that he's being dumb without taking it personally (and vice versa), he knows me ALMOST as well as Mr. Wonderful and can read my moods at a glance, he will go see a cheesy community production of whatever with me without complaint, and quote random lines from Steel Magnolias with me. Above all he is my friend and such a huge blessing in my life. It may seem simple, but that's what our friendship is. Marvelously simple, which is exactly what each of us needs. I am so grateful I will always be his Foxy.



make a joyful noise

Well, folks carolers rehearsals are now in full-swing. Aside from being behind because I'm a newb and learning everything from scratch instead of refreshing, it's rad. I haven't been in an honest-to-goodness choir for almost eight years and I had forgotten how happy choral singing makes me. There is nothing better to hear than a talented ensemble singing 8-part harmony. It's rad-I can't say that enough lately.

Last week I got some news. I don't know if it's a done deal so I doubt I'm supposed to tell, but we're all friends here so I'm gonna. But first a smidge of background:

As you are all aware, This is the Place Heritage Park is run largely in part by the LDS (Mormon) church. Because of this the "world" is pretty small.

Last week the person over the Heritage Carolers got a call. What kind of call you ask? Well an invitation. Not just any invitation, mind  you. An invitation for our little group to sing for the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

Yes, you read that right.



MoTab.

  








The Mormon.

                       Freaking.

                                  Tabernacle.

                                                      Choir.




My old Institute Choir director is a member.
No pressure or anything Kristen.


Needless to say I'm excited. Well excited and scared. Alright, mostly scared. I haven't been this excited since my A'Cappella choir was invited to sing with the Utah Symphony my Senior year.

We're awesome, but it's the freaking Mormon Tabernacle Choir for crying out loud!  Here's hoping it doesn't fall through and make a liar out of me. Regardless of whether or not that happens you need to pencil "A Candlelight Christmas" into your holiday schedule. As of right now I am the Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday cast. Those are all the specifics I know right now. I will definitely keep you all posted, and I must say although we are only two weeks in, we have an AWESOME music director, and we are already sounding pretty darn incredible, so I know it'll only get better from here.

You're missing out if you decide not to come!



shout it from the rooftops

Have you ever had news you want to share but don't because you want to keep it all for yourself? It's news so wonderful, so so special that you want to shout it from the roof tops but you just can't...because it's so wonderful, so special?

I never did. Until yesterday. It's a strange feeling. Especially for me because I'm an open book-you all know this. This feeling is entirely new to me, but I think I kinda like it.

Something happened to me yesterday that is wonderful. Something that I have waited not-so patiently for a long time.

When it first happened my initial impulse was to run through the streets screaming the wonderful news to the world like a banshee-which was then immediately followed by the intent desire to keep it where I felt it should be-between myself and the parties involved. I want to remember every word, thought, feeling, and reaction involved; and keep it all to myself to relish over again and again without muddying it up by sharing it with people not involved.

I hate posts like this, and I'm sorry for whetting your appetite and then not telling (no I'm not engaged). I just had to share something with someone; otherwise I knew would explode from happiness.

Life is good, God is great, and true happiness does come to those who wait.

my favorite time of year

I don't know if you have felt it yet, but I have. That magical 'click' when the seasons change. Yes, I know it's still warm, and yes I know there's still the potential for it to still get hot, but there's no denying it. Autumn is just around the corner, and it's the best time of the year.

This weekend my parents were in town (hooray!) and we had a busy weekend filled with the State Fair-better people watching than Wal-mart-Jeff Foxworthy was SO right, eating awesome food at the Greek Festival (you missed out if you didn't go), and Mr. Wonderful and I drove up to Snowbird for some brats at Oktoberfest-it's still going on for three more weekends! Even if you don't drink beer it's worth the drive and lots for fun to just walk around. But don't forget a jacket like I did otherwise you'll be cold and miserable or pumping out $60 for a Snowbird sweatshirt like me. It was a busy weekend, but the best I've had in a LONG time.

I swear all the best things happen in Autumn-the State Fair, the Greek Festival, Oktoberfest, Halloween, Thanksgiving, the leaves change and it becomes cute clothes and boot weather, and most importantly--my birthday.

Yes folks in just two short days I will be 31. Don't ask me what I have planned, because it's not that big of a deal-besides I have no idea. Trying not to freak out about the milestones I thought I would have hit is probably top of my list, although I know it's ridiculous. The most I can say in my defense is I have ALWAYS been this way-ALWAYS been well aware and worried about how quickly time goes by. It's always worse around my birthday as that's when I usually stop long enough to take stock of my life.

Although it's hasn't always been easy and it isn't the path I would have chosen, I'm grateful for it nonetheless. It's made me who I am, and I wouldn't change THAT for anything in the world.

here we come a' caroling: part deux

Remember this?

I can now put you out of your misery and tell you what's up--and this time it's GOOD news for a change!

Tomorrow.
















I'm kidding, I'm kidding! After a week's delay I auditioned to be a caroler at 'This is the Place Heritage Park" last Thursday.

Last night I still hadn't heard anything so I figured I didn't get it and was going to cut my losses when I received a phone call telling me

I GOT IT.*

There are four sopranos in this group, and I'm now one of them. After the frustrations and doubt I've had about myself this year you have no idea how great this feels! My hard work and perseverance has finally paid off, and it feels great knowing I'm what they want. I'm not the consolation prize winner yet again. The only tears I shed last night were tears of joy.

And it felt GOOD.

You wanna know the best part? (Aside from being able to work with one of my most favorite and talented musical directors and dress in awesome period clothing?) It's a paid gig. I get to do what I love the very very most, and I get to be paid for it. That all on its own is pretty rad in my book.

Be sure to pencil a 'Candlelight Christmas' into your festivities this Christmas and I will let you know more the closer it gets.

*See? I told you it would be anti-climactic, but I'm stoked nonetheless.

green-eyed monster

I think I do an ok job of being genuinely happy for people and not letting their successes get me down....most of the time.

More and more I have been feeling the green-eyed monster clawing his way out-and when I say green eyed monster I don't mean the adorable Mike Wazowski from Monster's Inc...

Sorry Mike.



No, I'm talking about the snarling, ugly, drooly teeth, nightmare inducing, nothing good comes from it green eyed monster.



His eyes aren't green, but this is all Google's got

 I really just don't know what the hell my problem is. I know I'm blessed. I know I'm talented. I know I'm worthwhile. What I don't know is why I immediately compare people's successes to my failures and become resentful towards them as a result. I find this is especially the case where theatre is involved. I don't know why, and I'm definitely not proud of it, but there have been a few-ok, A LOT of times where I have watched a show as a techie, been in a show, or was passed up for a show, and upon seeing the person doing what I have tried so hard for and fail-succeed-I can't help but feel that all too familiar twinge in my belly from the monster being roused-thinking how they're all wrong, I could have done it right, I would have been better.

It's not just theatre. I see people younger than me, who haven't worked nearly as hard who have everything. Perfect house, perfect spouse, perfect children, perfect career that just fell into their lap so naturally they don't really appreciate it. I can't help but resent it--and them---even the people I barely know. ugh. I'm a horrible person. I KNOW it's terrible, I KNOW I don't know their whole story-maybe they did work hard and I just don't know it...

I KNOW a lot of you will think less of me now-hell I think less of me now as I'm typing this, for everyone to see--please know this isn't something I'm particularly proud of. I just want it gone. I WANT to be genuinely happy for people, I WANT them to know I'm not just being fake, and I NEED be able to say that I control the monster, the monster doesn't control me.

How do we silence that monster inside? Everyone has one, and if you say you don't you are a LIAR. I DO know plenty of people who are experts at having control over it-several of them read this blog and I look up to them immensely. I'm throwing out this question to everyone, but them especially. HOW DO YOU DO IT? How do you always stay so positive and likable? How do you keep the monster at bay? Cause I REALLY want to know. I don't like knowing I have given the monster control without knowing how to get it back.

*For those of you waiting on news about this post, there was a delay (on their end, not mine), I haven't forgotten you, and I hope I will have news soon!

big things are commin' my way

Or at least I hope so.

For the past few days-lie-weeks I have just had the feeling something big, something GREAT is on the horizon for me.

The only problem? I have no idea what it is.

An engagement? Possibly (although I'm not holding my breath for this one.)
A new home? Hopefully (I have been looking-but either way I WILL be moving in February.)
Finally achieving my goal and playing a leading role? Doubtful as I haven't auditioned for anything, but it's a nice thought.
The news for my big secret being good news? Hopefully.

All I know is I feel like a little kid waiting for Christmas. Hopefully HF will see fit to share His little secret with me soon, cause I'm DYING.