I know people mean well and when I'm asked this it comes from a place of love (for the most part), but I'm so sick of it I'm ready to start punching people in the face. Here's why:
A: If I had an announcement to make I'd make it.
B: IT'S NONE OF YOUR FREAKING BUSINESS
C: It's a humiliating question to answer and I'm tired of acting like it doesn't bother me and you're not the ZILLIONTH tactless person to pass judgement and unwanted advice on a situation you know NOTHING about.
Suffice it to say if there's ever an announcement to make I'll make it. In the mean time keep your rude, tactless, and inappropriate questions and comments to yourself. If you choose to be a jerk and ask anyway, consider yourself warned.
5 comments:
I saw that on your fb and thought the same thing.
. . . So, when are you going to get that enormous nose fixed?
(Stupid Question)
Oh Heidi. I love you. I REALLY wish I was brave enough to be mean.
I have had problems with people asking sensitive questions too. Most people have good intentions and if they knew how much it would upset you they will most likely never bring it up again. It's not a bad idea to make an announcement so people will stop asking or you can individually tell people when they do ask you, kind of like what you said on this post. That's what I did about my issue and the people that cared about me left me alone. But that's the nice way to do it. Sometimes people don't get it unless they get zinged.
Responses:
Because marriage is the no. 1 cause of divorce.
Why are you still fat?
Amen!
I love Karalee's suggestions for responses. Because I didn't get married until I was 42, I have been the recipient of more than my fair share of insensitive questions. Now it's "When are you and Mr. Perfect going to have children?" I usually just smile and don't answer, but sometimes you have to. I dread the look on their faces when I tell them we've tried and it's not going to happen for us. I've seen everything from pain to discomfort to pity, and none of them make me feel any better. And I'm sure my answer doesn't make the asker feel any better either. The worst one was when the Bishop's wife said to a room full of women (at a baby shower, no less) "Nancy, you and Russ should be next." The women who knew my situation all cringed, and the others chuckled and gave me that secret knowing look of all mothers. I hate that the most. The woman who made the statement came up to me later to apologize. She said she could tell from the look on my face that it was a painful subject for me.
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