So yeah. I'm kinda having a moral dilemma...but let me preface. I'm LDS, born and raised. Love the Gospel, most people in the Gospel- not so much, but that's the price you pay living in Utah. I don't let the stupidity of a few zealots ruin my faith. Anyway, there's one thing that I can't stand--Visiting Teaching, Home Teaching, and Group activities. Up until a couple months ago I was gloriously flying under the radar-one of the joys of being in a singles ward with high turn over-and let's be honest- I've been pretty lazy the last bit so I'm not there as often as I should.
Well lately there has been a big push by my Visiting and Home Teachers. I know they are trying to magnify their callings, but I don't want to be visited. It's nothing personal, but that's part of the reason I didn't serve a mission. The thought of making small talk with total strangers isn't my cup of tea. Small talk has never been a skill I possess. I'm not bitter at all, I'm just saying it's not my thing. I'm not into being Visit or Home taught, Visit teaching anyone else, and I think PPIs and Ward activities are lame. I prefer to keep my worshiping to Sundays and on a personal level, and ask for help if I need it. Does this make me a bad person? I love these brothers and sisters who are putting forth such an effort to magnify their calling and make me feel included and loved. But I JUST WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE!! Say 'hi' to me at church, send an e-mail every now and again to see how I am, that's fine. But don't show up at my house unannounced or otherwise. I'm never home, and so when I am, it's MY TIME. I don't want to spend an afternoon (or 30 minutes, for that matter) sitting in awkward silence attempting small talk.
I'm not angry, bitter, or anything of the like. These things are just not my cup of tea. I'm a loner, I like to be left alone. I don't need to sit with a group of friends making noise to high hell in the chapel like everyone else, and I don't need a big fuss made over me. If I need something, I'll ask. Otherwise, please leave me alone. My last Visiting and Home teachers were great. They would say hi at church, ask if there was anything they could do, and pass on a photocopied page of the Ensign and call it good. Why can't everyone be like this?
Does this make me a bad person? What's the best way to politely tell them that I have no interest in being visited or visiting others? Because we all know that this will deploy a huge effort to change my outlook it will be well-intended, but completely unwanted. I just want to be left alone. I know I'm loved and if I need anything I can ask, but in the mean time can I just lead my life and be left alone?
3 comments:
Small talk is the worst..when you're single everyone and their dog is like, "Are you dating...When are getting married?" and then when you're married it's, "When are you going to have kids?" Small talk is how awkward people get to know the person and it's so FAKE!!!
VT SOLUTION: It's all about body language...crossed arms and standing up to end conversations. If that's not blunt enough arrange the visits in your favor by making plans or saying you have plans. My VT's would stay over an hour and I wanted to die so I would always invite them over and warn them I had to leave in 20 minutes and then I would have to end the visit myself.
Thanks for listening to my rant! :) Church is true!
Glad to know that even people that are baptized into the church feel that way too. I usually humor the missionaries for a few and then kindly send them on their way because i respect what they do for what they believe. Except for that time that the Sister missionaries came over and one started a verbal fight with me. First time I ever slammed the door in a missionaries face.
I personally don't mind it, but I really think they should respect YOUR wishes. I think it's wrong to try to force something upon someone if they really don't want it. It doesn't make you a bad person at all.
I wish my father was more like you, though. He's had bad experiences with people of the church and decided to judge the church as a whole because of it. "It's their fault that they let people like that in." Grr!
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