a rock and a hard place

*DISCLAIMER* This blog is the closest thing to a journal that I have. Because of this sometimes it's a dumping place for things I need to work out, stuff I need to feel sorry for myself over, and the occasional rant. Today is one of those days and this post contains all three. Because it's my blog and I do what I want, I am not censoring myself. Consider yourself warned if you read on.

I'm stuck. I hate being stuck-especially over something so trivial. I know I'm making this decision harder than it should be, but I've been in a similar situation before. I made the wrong choice and I was MISERABLE. I don't want to do it again, and if that means I have to over think things, so be it.

I wasn't offered a principle part in the latest show I auditioned for-whatev-I didn't have my heart set on anything and I'm used to not being what directors are looking for. I was, however invited to be part of the cast. There are still six women's roles available they are casting after the first rehearsal (think Ronettes from Little Shop, Silly Girls from Beauty and the Beast, and Hot Box Dancers from Guys and Dolls). Not originally something I had thought of doing, but it's something I tend to be cast as a lot, something that I know I ROCK at (because come on, that's ALL I'm cast as), and something that could be fun none the less. Bad news: I have to commit to the show before I know exactly what I will be doing. I don't want to commit, get passed over (again), and spend my summer being miserable, nameless, faceless scenery. But I have to commit. Soon. And by soon I mean TODAY. A blind leap if I ever heard one. Mr. Wonderful doesn't want me to-mostly because he doesn't want me to be as miserable as I was the last time. I just don't know. I don't have the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach like I did before, but I don't like not knowing exactly what I'm committing to and potentially getting something I will NOT be happy with. I'm just tired of feeling like all I ever do is settle.

Maybe the Universe is trying to tell me I need to be done for a while. Every part I have lost recently I have lost to a beautiful, petite ingenue, and let's face it-as much as I want to be those things, I'm just not. I'm just not ever what these people are looking for and I'm tired of letting stupid things continue to break my heart and make me doubt my talent and worth. I just don't know.

the rapture. it's real

The CDC has finally issued a statement on the impending Zombie Apocalypse. I think it's because the Rapture is supposed to happen tomorrow.

I'm  not kidding about the CDC. See?



*For the record I don't believe any of the Rapture hogwash. It's this decades Y2K, and we all know how THAT one went...
The zombie Apocalypse on the other hand is a different story..

one day more

Mr. Wonderful's sister is getting married tomorrow. Although I am GENUINELY happy for her weddings and friends having babies still make me a little sad. Almost to the point I dread seeing 'those' envelopes in the mail. Because I know I will have to smile and pretend everything is ok whilst my heart is breaking--and it sucks. Mostly because I feel guilty for being upset when it's supposed to be a happy time. And I am GENUINELY happy for these people, I promise. It just hurts.
 
I'm trying hard to stay positive and remind myself every day brings me one day closer to my turn...I just wish it would hurry the hell up-I'm tired of trying to not let this stuff get me down-and failing miserably.

Maybe I should focus all my pent up emotion on my call back tomorrow--or the impending Rapture?

I promise my next post won't be so lame. I just had to get this off my chest.

show friends

This was the fortune my cookie from Panda had yesterday:

Although it's hilarious (and eerily true) this is not the reason for this post, but rather an odd segue. Because I do theatre I'm lucky enough to know a lot of great people. And I mean A LOT. Sadly enough most of them I only actually see and do things with when we are in a show or at an audition together. This pains me.

Saturday I was at yet another audition and I was in the same group as one of my newest favorite people (I'm lookin' at you Dizzy). Afterwards we spent the better part of an hour chatting in the parking lot. I find it hilarious-and a little bit sad-that I know all these great people that I only see when there is theatre involved. I know we're all busy, but I'm callin you out-you all know who you are. We need to get together more because frankly you are just too awesome to limit my exposure to said awesomeness only when I'm lucky enough to share the stage (or audition room) with you.

 

I'm hoping this is the beginning to a beautiful friendship...

wordle thursday

As I was blogstalking friends of friends I came across this little beauty. My mom has one with the Vander Linden family names. It's pretty cool so I decided to do one with words from my blog-here's the link:

http://www.wordle.net/show/wrdl/3610942/misskristen


The web site isn't very user sharing friendly, but it's still fun.
http://www.wordle.net/create

day thirty!

Woot! I made it! I agree with my friend Most Lucky Girl-I feel good knowing I did it, will miss blogging every day, but won't miss the pressure to blog every day, or the bizarre questions one bit.

I'm 24 hours away from a cut and color-and look like HUD-so you don't get a picture of me from today. Instead you get a half picture of me (but it's one of my favorites regardless) from about three months ago:

May the force be with you.

Three things I'm glad have happened to me:

1. Mr. Wonderful
2. The Gospel and the blessings it gives me.
3. Over all I've been blessed with a happy, full life. Good friends, good work, AWESOME family...   I've got it all.

day twenty-nine

Something I never get tired of:

Bonus points to whoever knows who she is...

I've been singing as long as I can remember.

day twenty-eight

My favorite movie? That's a loaded question. I worked at a movie theater from the summer I graduated High School until 2001, and then at Hollywood Video until 2006. So I've seen a lot of movies. Some good, some bad, some excellent. Whenever anyone asks me what my favorite movie is one of these titles pop into my head:

Mr. Holland's Opus. This movie has been my favorite for as long as I can remember. I was a band student and I'm lucky enough to have had my own Mr. Holland-this is probably why I love this movie so much.
BUT-if you haven't seen it. GO. WATCH IT. It is probably one of the most moving stories I've ever seen. Makes you wonder how many lives you've impacted just by being YOU.

Moulin Rouge. I wasn't too interested in it the first time I saw a trailer, but then I went to see it. Oh. My. Word.
The music, the colors, the story, the passion. Wow. I. love. this. movie. If you enjoy musical theater, a good love story, Baz Luhrmann (good rule of thumb-if you didn't like Romeo+Juliet or Strictly Ballroom you won't like this one), retoolings of favorite pop culture songs, and an evil maharajah this movie is for you. Plus you can't go wrong with Nicole Kidman and the Singing Jedi.

day twenty-seven

Here is a picture from a year ago:



Most current headshot


How I've changed in the last year:

My hair was about four inches shorter--seriously contemplating cutting it that way again.
I've gained about 10lbs since then-BLAST!
I was at a job I 110% HATED-but now I'm not there. Yippee!!

day twenty-six

I'm a simple girl. I don't need to travel to exotic locales to be happy. Aside from Disneyland Seattle is one of my most favorite places.
Lucky me I have a very good friend who lives there-I only wish I had the money to go up and visit more. Because it's that rad.

day twenty-five

What's in my purse? Well I'll tell you. But first I have to show you my purse. Because it's AWESOME.
Mr. Wonderful gave it to me for my thirtieth birthday:

The contents of my purse are as follows:

• My Alice in Wonderland wallet
• keys
• phone
• lotion
• hand sanitizer
• lip gloss
• ibuprofen
• pen
• iPod
• sunglasses (and case)

day twenty four

A picture of something that means a lot to me:

I know it said one. But I put two because it's my blog and I do what I want.

(semi) wordless wednesday

day twenty-three

The only thing this picture and this blog post have in common is
that they're both random.

Fifteen random facts about me? Huh. You know it’s funny; you can name quirky things about yourself UNTIL someone asks you to share them. Most of these are known, some are not, there’s quite a few Disneyland related ones, but here we go:

1. I didn’t ride on an airplane for the first time until March of 2002-I was 21, it was to Seattle to attend Fiancée #1’s father’s wedding, and since it was six months after 9/11 I was more than a little bit nervous about it.
2. I am such a Disneyland junkie I purchased an Annual Pass in 2009. I only went twice that year-but the perks and discounts it afforded me made it well worth it.
3. I know how to get around Disneyland better than I do our own local amusement park: Lagoon. People ask me for navigation tips before they go.
4. I have movies in my collection that have never been watched, let alone opened. (Like plastic wrapper opened-some still even have the tag on them...)
5. I have never had a tan in my life thanks to my 50% fair Dutch skin. I have two levels: burn and peel.
6. Thanks to my father I have a soft spot for classic, American muscle cars.
7. My mother is the reason I like the Beach Boys.
8. I wish I had more time (and space) to scrap book.
9. I have had one cavity in my 30 years.
10. Cooking for the people I love makes me happy.
11. When I was eight I won an essay contest and got to ride on the Channel 4 float for the 24^th of July parade. I ended up with heatstroke.
12. I always have some sort of music playing device with me, whether it’s my iPod or Pandora on my phone.
13. People watching in
    New Orleans Square
    with a mint julep and some beignets is one of my favorite things to do.
14. I always get a little misty when I walk under the bridge for the Disneyland Railroad and onto
    Main Street
    after a long time away.
15. Although I have lots of gadgets I have no idea how to use half of them. I have to rely on Mr. Wonderful and Superman Lover for help more often than not.

day twenty-two

Write a letter to someone who’s hurt me? I’m not going to lie; I’ve been giving this day a lot of thought since I saw this little doo-dad. Since I’m not the kind to air grievances in a public forum I decided from day one that this letter would be to the person who hurts me the most: myself.

Dear Kristen:

You are a strong, loving, beautiful, talented, amazing woman, yet you are constantly selling yourself short. Whenever things don’t go the way you had hoped, worked towards, or  planned, you immediately blame yourself. Why do you do this? Why is it so impossible for you to think that no one but you could be at fault?

It hurts me so much to see you sell yourself short and accept the mediocre instead of the EXTRODINARY- although I do need to commend you on Mr. Wonderful-he is the best decision you’ve made in a long time.

I wish you would believe the nice things people tell you-because they wouldn’t say them if they weren’t true.

I wish you would let yourself believe in your happy ending. I know you’ve been hurt, but by expecting the worst all the time you are missing out on so much.

For hell's sake will you quit being so stubborn all the time and just let people HELP YOU? You don't need to always do it on your own, and asking for help is not a sign of weakness. Please let Mr. Wonderful help you. He loves you and hates to watch you struggle because you are too proud to ask. 

There is so much more I want to tell you, but in the effort to save time I won't. All I will say is you are stronger than you think you are, and you need to give yourself more credit. You have overcome so much and it has made you who you are now. You make your family and the people who love you proud. It’s ok to be proud of yourself too. You’re worth it.

Love,

Kristen

day twenty-one

There are a lot of things that make me happy, but right now she's it:

Allie is so smart, loving, and beautiful. All at the ripe old age of 21 months. I am so proud to be her aunt!

day twenty

They story behind my blog name is rather boring, actually. Although I like to think I'm creative, I'm not. When I decided to start blogging I had been reading through so many other people's blogs and wanted to follow suit. Blogs with their wittiness and clever alliterated names and I wanted to be like them. But all I could come up with was "Foxy and Fabulous" because, well my last name is Fox and I would like to think I lead a fabulous life...but in all honesty I'm not fabulous at all. It's all you wonderful peeps that make me feel fabulous...

she likes it...maybe

So upon reading a Dizzy post from a friend this week I decided I would follow her example and give it a go.

I listened to NPR this morning on my way into work...and I actually ENJOYED it. For those who know me know that although I do my best to keep up with the news I claim no political affiliation whatsoever. Although I have been known to agree with both sides on occasion.

The main reason I don't listen is because I'm a music and pop-culture junkie. I realize it's good to know what's going on in the world, but honestly the state of the world is so depressing I have adopted an "ignorance is bliss" approach. Not to mention by being in the middle politically makes it hard to listen to a station that is known for being RADICALLY liberal-well any radically left or right station actually. That and the fact the NPR broadcasters have the most boring voices. EVER.

But I enjoyed this morning, so hopefully it will be something I can listen to during my commute. Plus I'm not gonna lie. I totally feel smarter just by saying I listened to NPR this morning...

day nineteen

This is one of my favorite pictures of Mr. Wonderful and me. Shows how he REALLY feels about having his picture taken. :)

day eighteen

Lately the thing I crave the most is:

Fountain, please. In dire straights I have been known to get it from the bottle though...

day seventeen

This is Mia familia circa 2009. Allie is no longer an adorable newborn but an adorable toddler with a baby sister coming any day now...

day sixteen

I have a trifecta of celebrity crushes that is as follows (in no particular order):

Bradley Cooper-there's a reason he played Face in A-Team

Ewan McGregor-It's the singing Jedi.
if you haven't seen Moulin Rouge go. NOW.
Thank me later.

Hugh Jackman-He's just dreamy. And I have a thing for men who are
capable of long-term commitment. Watch him with his wife.
You can tell he loves her more today than the day he married her.
Adorable.

Don't worry, Mr. Wonderful knows about these, fully condones them, and he will always be my #1.

day eleven-fifteen

So I fully admit that I'm a slacker...but I have a good excuse. I have been in St. George visiting my awesome family the last few days and honestly...keeping up with the blog was the least of my worries. But here I am, picking up where I left off. I give you days eleven through fifteen for your reading enjoyment:

DAY 11:

My makeup bag. To be honest I have FOUR of these babies-but it's because I do theatre and the others are filled with theatre make-up. This is my main bag-the one that I count on every day to make me pretty. :) I wish I could be one of those women who can go without makeup, but being as I was "one of the lucky ones" who suffered from severe acne during my adolescent and into my adult years I have a hard time going anywhere without it on because I know what my skin looks like underneath.

Mattifier, Powder foundation, blush, eyeshadow primer, eyeshadow, liner, mascara, eyelash curler, concealer, lip balm, stain, and gloss, and bobby pins.

 DAY 12:

I don't have any skyline shots of my lovely SLC valley so I relied on Google:

Salt Lake really is beautiful-when there's no inversion. Or snow. Or snow AND inversion...

DAY 13:
 I am a music girl-there's not much I don't like, and my taste changes all the time. Except three artists are always in my top five:

 Brad Paisley. I have loved Brad since I first heard "The fishing song" and I still love him today. I try to see him every time he comes in concert. He is just such a talented songwriter and guitar player. Plus I'll admit, I have a little bit of a crush on him. He is a man's man yet I just love that on almost every album he writes a song for his wife--what girl WOULDN'T love that!

My favorite band is a toss-up between Maroon 5 and Bowling For Soup. They are on opposite ends of the music spectrum-one is a brooding, sexy as hell band with local ties (I used to know James Valentine's sister)- the other is a Texas-bred hometown boy band who doesn't take themselves at all seriously.

Not to mention the fact they wrote the theme song as well as having recurring cameos on one of my favorite shows: Phineas and Ferb.

DAY 14:

I watch a lot of shows on TV, but recently there are two I watch religiously:

Glee. No self-respecting choir nerd and theatre geek can honestly say they don't like glee.
The music is great, and after some hiccup-filled story lines in the beginning of season 2 they've really hit their stride again. I just love this show, and it makes my day. :)

Being Human. Mr. Wonderful got me hooked on this show. I was skeptical about the US re-tooling after watching the BBC version and HATING it. But I was pleasantly surprised. You are rooting for these "monster" characters trying to be well...human. The season is over, but I'm there once it starts again!

DAY 15:

I never leave the house without my phone and keys. I feel naked without either...



day ten

If I'm allowed to choose where we eat nine times out of ten I ALWAYS choose Mac Cool's:

They are an Irish Public house and they have the BEST non-mother made corned beef and cabbage I have ever eaten. 
If you don't like corned beef and cabbage their Irish Reuben on sourdough is another favorite of mine.
Mr. Wonderful likes the pulled BBQ pork and coleslaw, and if you're in the mood the Guinness stew is another favorite.
Unfortunately the District location closed so you have to venture to Foothill...but it's well worth the trip!

liar liar pants on fire

*There are few things that can get me beyond fuming in nano seconds like being lied to. I'm not talking "white lie" type ("Oh I'm five minutes away" when you're really 10), but the lies that people tell to get what they want when they want how they want it. It makes me even more angry when I catch you in said lie and you DENY it.

I'm not an idiot. You've been caught. Own up that you were trying to manipulate me, get ahead in the game, and break the system you think you're above. Don't look at me and lie further by calling me the liar.

I may give you shit for it, but honesty really is the best policy. Is it REALLY worth you losing my trust to get around the system?

*if you're reading this chances are you are NOT the one this is not targeted towards. I just needed to vent and this was the closest outlet.

day nine

You know you are a boring adult when you get excited over the most boring things...on that note I give you my most recent non-food puchase...

I love chopping and slicing and dicing by hand. But it's hard to make sauces without one of these beauties. So last week I ventured to Target and picked one up. That night I made a lovely garlic spinach ricotta sauce for Mr. Wonerful and I. Here's to many more recipes!

excuses excuses

It's official. I have hit my wall. I am about as happy about that as most people are about getting a root canal.

I HATE going to the gym, but when I started going I went-albeit as hesitantly as possible-because I know it was a necessary evil. It also helped to know Mr. Wonderful was there and I would get an earful if I flaked.

I have now officially stopped caring, and it's NOT GOOD. I dread 4:00 because I know what it entails, and today Mr. Wonderful texted me to let me know we won't be crossing paths at the gym I start thinking of all the things I need to do before I head to St. George this weekend and that I've got a free pass NOT to go. Not to mention I'm still waiting for all these benefits promised to me to take effect. Little to no change at this pace enough to discourage even the most driven. Not to mention it is the #1 buzzkill/demotivator around.

I CAN NOT let myself fall into this mentality. I have done very well the last month and have gone at least three times a week. But I find myself rationalizing more and more lately to NOT go...Mr. Wonderful's text this afternoon didn't help much, either.

Ugh. I wish I was one of those people who LOVED going to the gym.

but alas, I am not. Peace out guys. I have an appointment with the gym...

day eight

This is the song I have running through my head today:

day seven

My dream wedding? If we're being 100% truly honest here (and I like to think we are), if money and my religion weren't issues I would have a Disneyland Dream Wedding complete with a Disney Princess Couture dress (seriously. Go look at these. It's awesome and HEAVEN for a Disneyland nut like me.)  in a heart beat.

Since an Eternal Marriage is FAR more important to me than an incredibly expensive civil one I'll opt to stay here. I've thought a lot about what I want when I get married and honestly as long as my wedding involves this:

And him kneeling across the altar from me:

I will be a happy girl.

(I'll just drag him to Disneyland for the Honeymoon.) :)

day six

I have always been a dog person. ALWAYS. I have always liked the larger breeds (shepherds, retrievers, labs), but since my parents bred miniature daschunds (we kept them as pets too) growing up I love the little dogs too.

We aren't even married or even "officially" in talks to get married yet and I already beg Mr. Wonderful (a die hard cat man) for a dog every chance I get. Doesn't matter what kind, I just want a dog so bad my teeth hurt. I'll even compromise and get a cat too!

day five-part deux

Apparently I have forgotten how to count and said yesterday was day five when in actuality it was day four. Oi. It's fixed now and sorry for the confusion.

This is me two years ago at Pike Place Market in Seattle. I'm lucky enough to have a friend who lives up there. Man that was a fun trip. I need to go back soon!

day four

I am lucky enough to have TWO best friends, both I have known since High School-albeit one became my best friend recently. Please excuse the poor quality--pictures of pictures don't always turn out great.



circa 1999-2000-ish?

 This is Amber. I don't have many pictures of the two of us-she's usually on the opposite side of the camera. This is a picture from when we were BABIES and I smile every time I look at it. I have known Amber since our Sophomore year in High School. We have been through thick and thin together, and she has taught me what a true friend is. Here's just a FEW of the reasons I love her so:

• She is an amazing mother
• Forgiving to a fault
• She always sees the good in people
• Even when she's knee-deep in shit she can always find something to be grateful for.
• She has my back 100% no matter what.
• She is my biggest fan.
• Kind
• Loving
• Generous
• Patient
• Strong
• Tons of fun to be around

Seriously, I could go on and on and on about her. She is that fantastic.

This is my Mr. Wonderful. This is one of my favorite pictures of him because this is one of the few pictures he has a genuine smile in-isn't he handsome?

We met in High School-we had Seminary-and mutual crushes-but never managed to go on a date. Fast forward eight years to the HP7 release party, and the rest is history. Scott is my VERY best friend and I love him with all of my heart. He is living proof lighting can strike twice-especially for someone as undeserving as me. Here's just a few reasons why he is so great:

• He shows me every day just how much I mean to him.
• I can be myself around him
• He loves me unconditionally
• He's kind
• Patient
• Loving
• He's smart
• Caring
• Considerate of others
• He puts up with me and my craziness on a daily basis
• He is so supportive of me and the things I love-even when he doesn't.
• He won't let me quit.
• He is a wonderful teacher and an even better student.
• He is humble.
• He is extremely faithful and the Spiritual Giant I wish I could be.

He is wonderful, and I'm just so lucky to have him!

day three

My idea of a perfect first date. wow. I hate first dates more than pretty much anything. You're nervous and worried about making a good first impression. Nerves and trying to impress are NEVER a good combination. First dates are one step up from a job interview...hell. Let's be honest. First dates ARE a job interview.

I don't think I have EVER had a good first date-including my first date with Mr. Wonderful, so I'm just going to say my ideal first date would include the following:

1. You are able to feel comfortable
2. Conversation flows easily. (For someone who struggles with making small talk this is a biggie)
3. You can be yourself-because let's face it-cat's gonna come out of the bag eventually, so you might as well do it from the get-go, right?
4. A man who isn't afraid to be a gentleman. Chivalry is NOT dead guys.
5. You have enough in common to get along, but are different enough to still be interesting.
6. Anything that DOESN'T involve anything you can't talk during-movie, play, etc. How are you supposed to get to know each other when you're prohibited from talking?
7. I'm not gonna lie. I'm a sucker for bowling, mini-golf, and rollerskating. It's impossible to not be yourself when you're doing any of these things...BUT I had a date take me go-karting once. Although it was fun helmet hair is NOT good for a first date.
8. A non-awkward goodnight hug and a call or text in the next couple of days if he wants to go out again. Waiting is no bueno-but I've also had guys who WOULDN'T stop calling and texting. That's even WORSE guys.
9. And most importantly--if you're not interested in going out again SAY SO. It's tough, but nothing is worse than waiting for a call you were told is coming that doesn't. And if you're told "thanks but no thanks" STOP CALLING THEM. (yes that happened to me too-I had to be a jerk to this one.)

Hopefully I won't ever have to have another first date again. I'm uneasy just looking at this list.

day two

Today I did alright with my eating habits. It was actually balanced! I forgot to take a picture of my BEAUTIFUL Caprese wrap at lunch so here's dinner. Chicken tacos. Fast, cheap, and easy:

The avocado was the most expensive ingredient-a whopping $2.39...ouch. But it sure was tasty!

day one

Man, I knew this wasn't the greatest idea. Only one day in and I'm already behind...oi. good thing I can change the dates! (he he he he)


Halloween circa 2010...yes there was a Mario.

Today...how do I talk about today? Today started out fine but I was in a WICKED bad mood. (Don't ask, I have no idea why-although I'm fairly sure it has something to do with the fact I am now 0-3--three down, 15 to go). Work was fine, albeit a little slow, then it was off to the gym.

Have I mentioned how much I HATE going to the gym? I do. Every day I think of excuses en route NOT to go I hate it that much. Good thing I have Mr. Wonderful to keep me honest because I have NEVER been one of those people who thinks pushing oneself to the limit and hurting like a mofo the next day is a grand time (sorry Riss). I'm like a little kid who won't eat vegetables. I need exercise hidden in something fun that doesn't feel like exercise, like mothers hiding cauliflower in the mac and cheese. Aside from my LOATHING of the gym I'm tired of feeling (and looking) like a blob, so I only do it out of necessity. I DO, however look forward to keeping my pace at 5.0 or higher for the entire 45 minutes. Because then I get Girl Scout cookies when I get home. And yes I am guilty of watching food shows on my personal tv and fantasizing I'm there while on the elliptical. It makes something I already hate a little more bearable.

After the gym it was off to Mr. Wonderful's for dinner and the season finale of "Being Human". Based off of a British show of the same name, it's my new favorite Mr. Wonderful show selection--since "Walking Dead" is over until this Halloween. I highly recommend it-but it is a cable show---not Premium cable mind you-but since it involves werewolves and vampires (REAL werewolves and vampires, not the brooding sparkly all over lame kind.) there's more blood than you can get away with on network television.

Mr. Wonderful then humored me with streaming "When in Rome" on Netflix. I'm a chick flick lova, but this one was lame. I would have been ticked if I had paid money to see it. Avoid it if  you can. After that it was home and bed.

And here's to the most boring day in existence.

One down, 29 to go.





dumb idea?

I'm totally ripping this off from a friend's blog. I've looked at the 30 day perspective and the 12 of 12 blogs some other friends or blogs I stalk have been doing and this one is a nice mix of the two I think...

Am I dumb if I do this? Will my limited following cease to exist? Or is it a good idea because you're all dying to know more about me? Let me know what you think...I'll start on Monday depending on what say ye...

30 day blogging challenge

Day one~ A photo of yourself and a description of how your day was.

Day two~ A photo of something you ate today.

Day three~ Your idea of the perfect first date.

Day four~ Your favorite photograph of your best friend.

Day five~ A photo of yourself two years ago.

Day six~ A photo of an animal you would like to keep as a pet.

Day seven~ Your dream wedding.

Day eight~ A song to match your mood.

Day nine~ A photo of the last item you purchased.

Day ten~ A photo of your favorite place to eat.

Day eleven~ What's in your makeup bag?

Day twelve~ A photograph of the town you live in.

Day thirteen~ Your favorite musician and why?

Day fourteen~ A TV show that you are currently addicted to.

Day fifteen~ Something you don't leave the house without.

Day sixteen~ Your celebrity crush.

Day seventeen~ A photo of you and your family.

Day eighteen~ Something you crave a lot.

Day ninteen~ Another picture of yourself.

Day twenty~ The meaning behind your blog name.

Day twenty-one~ A photo of something that makes you happy.

Day twenty-two~ A letter to someone who has hurt you lately.

Day twenty-three~ 15 facts about you.

Day twenty-four~ A photo of something that means a lot to you.

Day twenty-five~ What's in your purse?

Day twenty-six~ A photo of somewhere you've been.

Day twenty-seven~ A picture of you last year and now and how have you changed since then?

Day twenty-eight~ Your favorite movie.

Day twenty-nine~ Something you could never get tired of doing.

Day thirty~ A photograph of yourself today + three good things that have happened in the past.

crazy?

I have come to the conclusion I am in fact, insane. But why, you may ask?

Because I am the very epitome of this quote. After each failure (read=rejection) I still return, hopefully repeating the process- same as before. All the while being annoyingly optimistic in my hoping that THIS time will be different, THIS time I will be able to portray to others the fire that is in me, THIS time I won't have to remind myself I have to taste the bitter before I can know the sweet. THIS time I won't have to run into Mr. Wonderful's arms for comfort, but rather in celebration.

Insane because instead of saying "enough is enough" and stopping this ridiculous behavior I continue to try-hoping each time it will be different-when it's usually the same result. Yet I continue thinking that sometime something will have to give and I will no longer be the "rule", but rather the "exception".

Insane? I should think so, yet I still look forward to every new opportunity like a fool. Here's hoping tonight goes better than the last week...

R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me

Last week I was cross-training in another department (another post for another day--once I'm over the trauma.), and another person was at my desk learning my job.

When I use an area that isn't mine, I do my best to implement the "Leave nothing but footprints" rule. So imagine my surprise when I came in Saturday morning to find my world askew-the person who had been at my desk had left everything on their preferences rather than changing them Friday before they left.

Can I just say nothing messes with me more than the feng-shui being off in my work area--especially when I don't know how to fix it? Well the good news is I finally figured it all out--3/4 of the way through my shift. FAIL. Although I love this person I still wanted to smack them while I was trying to figure out how in the hell to get my settings back to how they were...
*sigh* oh well. All's well that ends well I guess.