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| It's times like this I wish I had photoshop--because I would SO cut and paste my pic in here... |
Rachel: Okay! Y’know what? I realized it was stupid to get upset about not having a husband and kids. All I really needed was a plan. See I wanna have three kids…
Phoebe: Oh let me guess, and you wanna have them all at the same time and you wanna have them for your brother.
Rachel: As I was saying… I should probably have the first of the three kids by the time I’m 35 which gives me five years. I love this plan! I wanna marry this plan!
Phoebe: If you could do that, I’d marry the hippity-hop.
Rachel: So, if I wanna have my kid when I’m 35, I don’t have to get pregnant until I’m 34. Which gives Prada four years to start making maternity clothes! Oh wait, but I do want to be married for a year before I get pregnant…
Monica: Really! That long?! (Chandler slowly turns and looks at her.) (To Chandler) Look all you want, it’s happening!
Rachel: No, so I don’t have to get married until I’m 33! That’s three years, that’s three whole years—Oh, wait a minute though. I’ll need a year and a half to plan the wedding, and I’d like to know the guy for a year, year and a half before we get engaged… Which means I need to meet the guy by the time I’m thirty.
Ross: Which is fine! Because you just turned—(Removes two candles from the cake)—twenty-eight!
Rachel: No! Ross, no! It is not fine! Eh-eh-according to my plan I should already be with the guy I wanna marry!
There's no way to say this and not sound completely pathetic, so I'm just gonna say it.
Yeah...it took me turning thirty to be able to FULLY appreciate Rachel and her frustration/desperation here.
Only I wanted to be married-almost done having kids-maybe one or two more-by the time I was thirty. Yeah THAT'S not happening. Usually I'm ok with it--until times like this weekend and I REALLY think about it. THEN I hear an incessant "TICK TICK TICK" in the back of my brain and I realize my time is running out. Then panic mode sets in because I realize this one is COMPLETELY OUT OF MY HANDS.
Normally if I want something I just go out and get it. But this situation doesn't work that way. And it SUCKS. Plus it doesn't help any when my happily married with children friends get all smug and say crap like "don't worry, you'll get your turn." Yeah. That's REAL easy for you to say. You're already livin' the dream. Or the person who was married at 19 and a parent at 20 is trying to "relate" because they remember wondering and stressing if it was ever going to happen for them too. Gah! Word of wisdom my friends: If you've already got what the person wants or you yourself have not been down a damn near identical road don't say crap like that. EVER. All you'll get is a smack in the face.
After all this stressing marriage and motherhood better be all it's cracked up to be otherwise I'm gonna be PISSED.
Funny how life doesn't EVER work out the way you planned. Being single is HARD.
Ok, I've vented. I'm better now...kinda.
7 comments:
I've been down a near identical road, right? Almost or actually engaged a couple times, turned 30 just 4 days after you...close, right?
I'm nowhere near your current road, though. When I read "living the dream", my thoughts immediately went to how I am living the dream right now because I've had so many of the "young-married's" point this out to me. *sigh*
I actually have a friend who titles all of her blog posts like episodes of Friends. It was really weird to click on this link and not be reading HER blog.
It's too easy to stress over all of this. Russ and I just found out that we have a 2% chance of getting pregnant with IVF (at around $20,000 a try). Not a great statistic. At 44, my *tick tick tick* is so loud that I really have to work hard so that it doesn't block out all of the good that I have in my life, even without giving birth to children myself.
We never know what will come. Some women aren't able to have children. Some wait too long. Some have them well into their 40s. It's a giant craps shoot (speaking about dice and not the other kid of crap). I'm very interested in seeing how all of this fits in with God's plan for me.
Agh! It's so hard to be patient and have faith that things will work out when you don't know what the Big Guy Upstairs has in mind. I could be patient! If I knew how long I had to be patient! :)
But seriously, there are parts of me that envy your situation too. You're totally right, we always want what we don't have...
I am so sorry that does suck! I wish Scott would propose right now to you. :) I guess the only thing I feel that I can relate to you is the timeline you think will be in your life. Even though I have a beautiful girl and a baby on the way it took so much to get to this point with IVF. I always wanted 4 kids and now think it may just be 2 and I would love to be done having kids as well since I am 30 and some friends have 5 already! The good thing about it is that people think I am only 25 since I don't have older children. So when you get married and have your first baby just remember everyone you don't know in Utah will think you are 22 :)
I am scared of you. :) your blog also makes me laugh, so thank you!
P.s. you are awesome. That is all.
Oh yes and happy belated birthday! :D
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