How much is enough?

So, as most of you know, I moonlight as a server. Like everyone else, I have felt the crunch of the economy, but too many people are using this as an excuse to tip poorly. So I am taking it upon myself to dispense a little knowledge about the fine art of tipping:

1. Contrary to popular belief, we do NOT make minimum wage. Minimum wage for servers is $2.12 an hour. NOT $5.75 or whatever it is now.

2. We pay a percentage of what we make back to the restaurant in what's called tip-share. This money goes to the Hosts, bussers, and bartenders. We pay this REGARDLESS of whether or not we are tipped appropriately. Plus if the restaurant has a food runner/expediter like we do, the servers are paying someone else in cash every night. Both of these amounts we pay are calculated based on our gross sales-NOT how much we make in tips. So if you stiff your server, chances are they are paying the restaurant for you coming in for dinner.

3. Although people may think otherwise, serving is hard work. You have to constantly be multi-tasking, remembering what your tables have ordered and correctly enter it into the system, when you don't have a food-runner you are running your entrees to your guests, filling drinks, and helping other servers when it is busy. This becomes even more difficult when you have large parties in your section or you have difficult tables who think they are your only guests and keeping their drinks filled, or extra sauces available to them is your only task. Forget about letting you help anyone else.

4. Anything less than 15% is NOT considered a good tip. Actually the standard is being raised to 20%, but you won't be talked bad about in the back for tipping 15%, and if you're a regular at a particular joint, your reputation WILL precede you if you don't tip well. This amount is based on the total check, NOT how nice the restaurant is. I'm in no way saying you should tip a lazy server who gives crappy service, but before you stiff them, take a few of these things into consideration:
A: How busy is the restaurant? How many tables BESIDES you can you see your server helping? Do they seem new or just frazzled?
B: How was the over all visit? Was your server friendly? Did they know the menu and answer your questions thoroughly? Did they seem on top of things? If not, why? Was the restaurant legitimately busy or were they being lazy?
C: How were YOU as a guest? Were you overly demanding or needy? How quickly did you empty your drink? Unless they were hovering over you with another ready, would it have been possible for them to get you another one before you finished the previous one? Were YOU spreading your server thin? Do YOU realize that your server is after all a person, too and incapable of the perfection you demand?
D: What are you upset about? Are they things that your server had control over or not? If the kitchen is backed up and it takes longer to get your food out, or if the food quality was HORRIBLE? Is that REALLY something your server can control? Same with the bar drinks and the politeness and efficiency of the host staff. Can your server CONTROL those things? If not, you shouldn't punish THEM for things they can't control. Instead let the manager on duty know what's going on so the situation can be rectified.

You should base your tipping on how you answered these questions. You need to remember that although we are trained professionals :) we are still human and capable of error. If you can see that we are busy and spread really thin, cut us some slack if you have to ask to get another coke, or if we forget to bring you a box right away.

5. If you can't afford to eat out AND leave a tip, DON'T go out. PERIOD. People who have never served don't understand how important tips are to servers. We are busting our asses for you, it's your job to pay for the services provided. PERIOD. If you don't want to pay a tip, there are plenty of places that you can go where tips aren't expected. Having a huge family or spending $60 on your crab dinners and another $30 on drinks DOES NOT mean you can stiff us. Just plan on the tip as part of your check. Unless you have actually worked a 60-minute wait dinner rush on a Saturday night with your four-table section filled-one of them with a party of twelve (Let's do the math-four seats per table times three tables is 12 plus another 12 is TWENTY FOUR PEOPLE) do you understand how hard it can be. We have TWENTY-FOUR PEOPLE we are trying to help all at the same time. Have YOU ever had to help 24 people at the same time? How hard is it to help two or even three people at once, let alone two dozen?

6. If we don't get tips, we don't have money. PERIOD. What about our paycheck from the restaurant you ask? Well, since we make only $2.12 an hour, ALL that money is usually taken in taxes-yes we have to claim another percentage of what we make to the IRS. But where does Uncle Sam get that money from? The hourly wage we are paid by the restaurant. It's not unusual to have a ZERO balance on your bi-weekly pay stub. So this means your money is in your tips. No tips means no money. Period. Not everyone uses this job as a means for "fun money". Several of my friends use this as their sole source of income. You should think about that the next time you're leaving a tip. You're determining someone's hourly wage. Could YOU get by on $2.12 an hour?

I'm not posting this to preach, but to inform. I've been amazed to see how many people don't understand that a tip is a server's SOLE source of wages. Please pass this information on to your friends and people who don't understand the importance of tipping. Again, if the service sucked, the tip should reflect the service and you should let the manager know so it can be rectified. Don't set unrealistic expectations for these people that are serving you, because after all they are still people. How much better could YOU do in the same circumstance? Most importantly, DON'T go out if you can't afford to tip. You are literally taking the money out of someone else's pay check when you do.

I look like WHO?

So in July I bought two pairs of new glasses. My old ones were five-plus years old and it was time to get an update. I got some super-cute frames, and didn't think much of it.

Then in August McCain had to go and announce Sarah Palin as his VP running-mate. Subsequently my world came crashing down.

It all started innocently enough. I'm very lucky; I'm only near-sighted. So I only have to wear my glasses while driving, watching TV or a movie, or if I want to see anything clearly that's more than 10 feet away, etc. I usually take them off and put them in my purse once I don't need them anymore, but this day was an exception. I wore them into the office, and my friend Jen looked at me and immediately says I look like Sarah Palin. I didn't really think much of it, because it was just one person's opinion-granted she told it to anyone she could; I was her personal freak show-"put your glasses on and show them, Kristen! You're gonna get a big kick out of this". The trouble didn't REALLY start until I decided to wear my glasses into Joes one night. That's where the fun REALLY began. I had THREE guests on separate occasions tell me I looked like Sarah Palin!! Thinking it was just the one pair in question I wore my purple frames instead last weekend hoping that I wouldn't have the same outcome. No such luck. I had an entire family say I looked like her! Now, I'm not complaining-much. I know there are worse people I could look like-President Bush or Martin Scorsese for example...but I liked being my own person-not to mention disappearing into obscurity was nice.
Plus she's not known for saying the brightest things--"I'm a Maverick" and "You can see Russia from my house"...I don't want to be associated with that! Oh well. Hopefully once Obama is inaugurated it will blow over so I can wear my glasses again and know I'm being complimented on them because I look cute in them; not because people think they make me look like someone else.
For those of you who need to see it with your own eyes, here you go. My co-worker insisted on taking this picture to send to her VERY liberal family back east for a giggle-ignore the hair, I know it's a mess. She made me pull it back because apparently I only REALLY look like her when it's back: