Wednesday, August 31, 2011

operation chicken bake failure

Two posts in one day? How do you rate!?

The problem with cooking is that it's not always perfect. This is especially the case with the recipes you come up with yourself.

Case in point:

My chicken broccoli mushroom bake. I've done variations on it for a few years and it's always scored a three-helping rating with Mr. Wonderful, so I figured last night would be the same. For whatever reason it fell flat and although he said it wasn't terrible Mr. Wonderful only finished what I served him-no seconds last night. This is a massive failure in my book. I'm usually shooing him away from the kitchen so there's still leftovers for him to take for lunch the next day.

I think I know what went wrong so I had every intention of sharing my recipe with you today, but I have decided that rather than sharing a sub-par recipe with you I'm headed back to the kitchen to perfect before I share. Hopefully the next take will be worth sharing.


I promise it looked better than it tasted. :(

the Vander Linden curse

Remember this post? Yesterday it reared its ugly head again. The bane of my existence and the root of a lot of my body insecurities...that's right, I'm talking about the Vander Linden curse.

For those of you who have either never seen me or have been living under a rock the entire time you've known me I'm, well, let's just say more blessed than most women. I come from a long line of well endowed women. My mom's side has dubbed it the Vander Linden curse-because we all have those damn Dutch genes and let's face it-any one who has naturally what others  have to pay for can tell you what a curse it actually is.

Anyway, I went up to This is the Place for my first costume fitting last night. I had hoped that since it's not community theatre they may have something that would fit the girls. Yeah, no such luck.

So the bad news is I don't fit into any of the "Work and the Glory" costumes-no really-that's what they are. The park bought them from the LHM Company.

But the good news is because I'm such a freak of nature I'm making Tate happy because I get a brand new dress and that's what he wanted to do all along...

I guess it's a good thing I didn't have to pay for my curves the way most do...but then I think the emotional price is higher... You bet I'm grasping at straws for the silver lining here...

My problem is I have enough for three...

Monday, August 29, 2011

lame?

I've always loved to cook, but now because I watch the Food Network all day at work I feel oh-so-qualified to share.

Really it's just because I'm single and am always looking for good recipes that don't give me a week's worth of leftovers.

Would it be a good idea to share them here? A lot of my friends have started food blogs, but let's face it, I have a hard enough time maintaining one, let alone two blogs.

Would you welcome the occasional recipe success here for your one stop shopping pleasure, or should I just start a new blog?

Thursday, August 25, 2011

here we come a' caroling: part deux

Remember this?


I can now put you out of your misery and tell you what's up--and this time it's GOOD news for a change!

Tomorrow.
















I'm kidding, I'm kidding! After a week's delay I auditioned to be a caroler at 'This is the Place Heritage Park" last Thursday.

Last night I still hadn't heard anything so I figured I didn't get it and was going to cut my losses when I received a phone call telling me


I GOT IT.*

There are four sopranos in this group, and I'm now one of them. After the frustrations and doubt I've had about myself this year you have no idea how great this feels! My hard work and perseverance has finally paid off, and it feels great knowing I'm what they want. I'm not the consolation prize winner yet again. The only tears I shed last night were tears of joy.

And it felt GOOD.

You wanna know the best part? (Aside from being able to work with one of my most favorite and talented musical directors and dress in awesome period clothing?) It's a paid gig. I get to do what I love the very very most, and I get to be paid for it. That all on its own is pretty rad in my book.

Be sure to pencil a 'Candlelight Christmas' into your festivities this Christmas and I will let you know more the closer it gets.

*See? I told you it would be anti-climactic, but I'm stoked nonetheless.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Hairspray in Sandy

Last night I had the opportunity to see ‘Hairspray’ at the Sandy Amphitheatre. For those of you who have never been to a show at the Sandy Amphitheatre-GO. It is a beautiful, well-maintained venue; although it is not used exclusively for theatre productions it has garnered quite the reputation for being the anti-community theatre theatre. I love that you can tell Sandy is one of the few cities in the valley who not only supports their Arts Council, they take pride in it as well. I was using cast comps, but tickets are a bit on the expensive side, $13.00-15.00 for Premium Seating, or General Admission lawn seating for $7.00-and just as nice-or so I’m told. Based on my Type A nit pickiness ‘Hairspray’ was definitely not Sandy’s best production, but it was far from being one of the worst.

‘Hairspray’ is the story of Tracy Turnblad, a cute, spunky, open-minded teenage girl growing up in segregated Baltimore circa 1960. For those of you unfamiliar with the story, click here.

I decided to spare Mr. Wonderful and brought my Theatre Husband, Sparky. We were immediately captivated by the old clips from “Leave It to Beaver”, “The Beverly Hillbillies”, and commercials from the 60’s projected in black and white onto a retro TV screen backdrop. This provided the perfect way for me to slip into the ambiance being created.

My only complaint for the pre-show was I was told only one playbill was allowed per couple. Seriously?! I kind of understand the waste not, want not mentality, but I was still a little peeved regardless. Theatre Husband and I both enjoy reading through our programs and chatting about who we know before the show starts, and this is difficult to do with only one program. I am usually one of the patrons who will give my program back to be recycled if it’s made available, so I don’t understand why they don’t just do that instead of rationing them. I think now would be a good time to apologize for not using the character names of the actors rather than their real names, but I let Theatre Husband take our program home to add to his collection and the cast list is giving me error pages.  

The TV I mentioned earlier played a central role during the Corny Collins Show. At first glance I thought it was another projection of pre-recorded material, but then I realized the TV camera on stage was in fact a working prop, and I was watching “live TV”. The little touches helped engage me further in the show. The rest of the set was lovely and built on wheeled platforms that made for seamless and fast set changes (kudos to the tech crew from a fellow techie!), but the height of some sets wobbled severely any time an actor was on them (particularly the jail cell bars and Turnblad home), taking me out of the show each time it waved at me.

The costumes were very well done, and there was enough diversity that I could focus on the story and not be distracted by the matchy-matchy costumes. Penny and Velma’s costumes were amazing- every single one of their best features was played up in each one. All I could do was watch in envy and WISH I looked as fabulous as they did. As wonderful as they looked I only wish a particular blue and white feather costume covered the tattoos on one of the principles. It may not have been an issue for those in the back-but being front and center I was able to see them and it took me right out of the finale.

I was there primarily to support my friend Courtney playing Amber Von Tussle. She had the bratty part down, but I wanted her to be more entitled and snobby. I still enjoyed her performance. I HATED her wig. It was just so HUGE, BLONDE, and OBNOXIOUS. I kept looking at it wondering how in the world Tracy was consistently put in detention for her hairstyle of choice-because it was a "monumental hair-don't" but there was hair on that stage that was much, much worse. A few cast members whose natural hair was distracting, but Amber and Motormouth Maybelle’s wigs took the cake here. They were just too big and over the top-detracting so much from both actor's performances. When I wasn’t feeling that both Courtney and Maybelle were being hindered or upstaged by those awful masses of yellow hair I was waiting for them to fall right off.

The actress who played Tracy was good-although I wanted her to be a little more energetic, a little beltier with her songs, and more than anything I wanted her to stop smiling. Not because it wasn’t ADORABLE, but because every time she smiled (which was any time she was on stage) I felt that it was forced and a little fake. For me, Tracy needs to be someone likable-someone you would want as a friend, and I caught myself a few times thinking she was neither. She is a very talented girl so I am going to say she was tired last night-and leave it at that.

Edna Turnblad is far and away one of my favorite roles. I don’t know if it’s because it’s a drag role, she’s more on the robust side, or if it’s because she’s just so darn likable, but I just love her. The actor playing Edna last night? He was perfect-and he had a set of legs that every woman only wishes she had. I know I did.

The pairing of actors for Seaweed and Penny was good, and they were both great alone, but together I didn’t believe that they were in love. They were missing something. I wanted Penny's freak flag to fly a little higher in the end, but I still enjoyed her character choice.

The ensemble was well-rounded and fun to watch, although I kept sensing that though they had ten weeks of rehearsal a lot of the actors (principals included) weren’t as strong on their singing and dancing as they should have been. Too often I saw cast members watching the stronger dancers for choreography help. The singing faltered a lot-almost like they were supposed to be singing harmony and forgot, but rather than go to the melody they began mouthing the words. This usually isn’t a problem, unless you're mic-ed like these actors were.

There were many great casting choices, but there was really only one character I didn't like. Velma. She was just so loud and brash-I wanted to see a conniving, scheming, grown version of Amber. I kept feeling she was trying to steal every scene she was in and I hated her for all the wrong reasons. On a positive note she did have an amazing figure and some of the best costumes of the night.

Throughout the evening I kept feeling like the majority of the cast was merely ‘calling in’ their performance. Those who weren’t blase' were just too corny, too over the top, making things look disjointed as a result. I don’t know if it was being outside in the muggy night air, because it was a Monday night, or if they were just finally at the point where they were ready to be finished with the run, but it was very distracting. The finale was fun to watch, but I wanted to see the energy crescendo through the show to the end, but instead I left feeling it had fizzled-with one exception.

When Maybelle sings “I Know Where I’ve Been” I had gooseflesh up both arms and tears in my eyes-it was just so moving. I believed her pain, her hope, and her courage. She made me, an extremely boring white girl from Salt Lake-feel what it must’ve been like for a black person before the Civil Rights Movement.
The story of love, friendship, and acceptance resonated with me last night. In spite of my nit-pickiness it is a well-put together show and is worth your time. Just make sure you choose your seat carefully. The closer you are the easier it is to notice the little unnecessary things as well as experiencing sensory overload.

Sandy City’s ‘Hairspray’ runs this Wednesday August 24th through Saturday August 27th

Thursday, August 18, 2011

green-eyed monster

I think I do an ok job of being genuinely happy for people and not letting their successes get me down....most of the time.

More and more I have been feeling the green-eyed monster clawing his way out-and when I say green eyed monster I don't mean the adorable Mike Wazowski from Monster's Inc...

Sorry Mike.





No, I'm talking about the snarling, ugly, drooly teeth, nightmare inducing, nothing good comes from it green eyed monster.

His eyes aren't green, but this is all Google's got
 I really just don't know what the hell my problem is. I know I'm blessed. I know I'm talented. I know I'm worthwhile. What I don't know is why I immediately compare people's successes to my failures and become resentful towards them as a result. I find this is especially the case where theatre is involved. I don't know why, and I'm definitely not proud of it, but there have been a few-ok, A LOT of times where I have watched a show as a techie, been in a show, or was passed up for a show, and upon seeing the person doing what I have tried so hard for and fail-succeed-I can't help but feel that all too familiar twinge in my belly from the monster being roused-thinking how they're all wrong, I could have done it right, I would have been better.

It's not just theatre. I see people younger than me, who haven't worked nearly as hard who have everything. Perfect house, perfect spouse, perfect children, perfect career that just fell into their lap so naturally they don't really appreciate it. I can't help but resent it--and them---even the people I barely know. ugh. I'm a horrible person. I KNOW it's terrible, I KNOW I don't know their whole story-maybe they did work hard and I just don't know it...

I KNOW a lot of you will think less of me now-hell I think less of me now as I'm typing this, for everyone to see--please know this isn't something I'm particularly proud of. I just want it gone. I WANT to be genuinely happy for people, I WANT them to know I'm not just being fake, and I NEED be able to say that I control the monster, the monster doesn't control me.

How do we silence that monster inside? Everyone has one, and if you say you don't you are a LIAR. I DO know plenty of people who are experts at having control over it-several of them read this blog and I look up to them immensely. I'm throwing out this question to everyone, but them especially. HOW DO YOU DO IT? How do you always stay so positive and likable? How do you keep the monster at bay? Cause I REALLY want to know. I don't like knowing I have given the monster control without knowing how to get it back.

*For those of you waiting on news about this post, there was a delay (on their end, not mine), I haven't forgotten you, and I hope I will have news soon!

Friday, August 12, 2011

friday confession: crazy crush

I have a confession. Yes, another one. I'm full of those, you know.

I have a crush.

Most people think I'm weird, but I've had it as long as I can remember.

It's Jareth...

You know, the Goblin King from Labyrinth.

But I don't have a crush on David Bowie. Just Jareth.

I know it's ridiculous, and I have no idea what it is about him, but I just can't help it.

Especially when he starts to sing.

That really makes me weak in the knees.

I know you're probably thinking I'm crazy, but it is what it is.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

everybody's a critic

I may have just done the best or worst thing.


I just applied to be a critic for the Utah Theater Bloggers Association. I figure since I see shows, I'm in shows, I have an opinion on shows, and I write this witty and well-followed blog I am clearly qualified to throw in my two cents worth, right? *sarcasm*

The more I think about it I think I just shot my community theatre career in the foot...dammit.


Wednesday, August 10, 2011

big things are commin' my way

Or at least I hope so.

For the past few days-lie-weeks I have just had the feeling something big, something GREAT is on the horizon for me.

The only problem? I have no idea what it is.

An engagement? Possibly (although I'm not holding my breath for this one.)
A new home? Hopefully (I have been looking-but either way I WILL be moving in February.)
Finally achieving my goal and playing a leading role? Doubtful as I haven't auditioned for anything, but it's a nice thought.
The news for my big secret being good news? Hopefully.

All I know is I feel like a little kid waiting for Christmas. Hopefully HF will see fit to share His little secret with me soon, cause I'm DYING.

Tuesday, August 09, 2011

gorgeous

Why do I have such a hard time believing people when they call me 'gorgeous'? (No, I am NOT fishing for compliments here, just making a confession.) It's always meant as a compliment, and I always appreciate they think that enough to tell me, but for whatever reason I have a hard time BELIEVING that me, Miss Kristen-the tomboy til she was 10 and the best friend* after that-is gorgeous.

I know I'm pretty, but when I look in the mirror I don't think "wow, you're gorgeous."
I also know I'm lucky; I know all of my good looks I got from my parents-especially my mom.


She's the gorgeous one.


circa 1976-77-ish. Forgive the picture of a picture.



*Best friend-The ok looking girl who befriends the most desired girl/woman and subsequently plays second fiddle to her man-luring, eyelash batting, "I have five men vying for my attention, whatever shall I do?", girlfriend

Monday, August 08, 2011

bad poetry: agency

It’s supposed to be God’s greatest gift
The center of His Plan
Why is it so hard to let people use?
Feeling so inadequate
Trusting them to make the right choices
And then they don't
Wanting to control them-make them choose the right way
Frustration bubbling to the surface
Watching the pained looks of the people who love them most
Long nights of worry and fret
Watching helplessly as their choices change their life path
Hoping one day they see the light
Before it’s too late
And the consequences of abusing God’s greatest gift catch up to them

here we come a' caroling

I bet you're wondering why in the world I'm talking about Christmas in August?

Well I have some news. Some news I'm VERY excited about, but since I don't want to jinx it (or have to explain my failure later) I'm just gonna whet your appetite a little with a picture and leave it at that:



Now I'm pretty sure it won't start controversy like this one did, but I'm leaving you all with baited breath until next week--hopefully I will have some GREAT news to share...

Thursday, August 04, 2011

that girl

 Sometimes I write bad poetry.

she's the girl they all know
the one with her mother's smile
if they only knew what the smile hides
the lump that never fades
the rage buried deep inside
the air of confidence
hides a mountain of insecurities
 letting emotion flow is not allowed
must keep up appearances
and remain the girl they all know

register or die


“Let's be honest. Sometimes there is nothing harder in life than being happy for somebody else. Like lottery winners. Or extremely successful people who are 27. And then there's that hell on earth that only your closest friends can inflict on you -- the baby (wedding) shower."

~Carrie Bradshaw

I love my friends. I do. I love that they want me to share in their happiness and subject invite me to their bridal/wedding/baby showers. What I DON'T love is when they force ask me to buy ridiculously expensive gifts off a boutique registry that is CLEAR across town, ESPECIALLY when I can get almost identical stuff from Target. That's across the street from my house. For a fraction of the cost. I try to practice good gift-giving etiquette and stick to the registry, but COME ON.

I get that you are starting out and you need, well EVERYTHING. I also understand there are some things that are just expensive no matter where you go. I have no problem contributing because let's face it-I'm expecting you to return the favor when I marry/have kidlets, but come on. Are you so worried about appearances that you will make it almost impossible for those of us who can't afford the $150 car seat to give you something? If we're being honest here, and I like to think we are-I wouldn't ask you to spend $40 on a blanket for me, so do you really think I'm gonna do it for your kid knowing full well that it's gonna be used as a puke rag? And what about convenience? My idea of a fun afternoon isn't driving clear across town to the ONLY location in the state to buy over-priced binkies.

What ever happened to the days of Target and Bed Bath and Beyond? Am I totally behind the times in thinking these are completely acceptable places to register for gifts?

I'm not driving clear across town to visit one store, and I'm definitely not spending $50 on an outfit your kid will be too big for in eight weeks. Is it awful of me to buy items that aren't on the registry (but are damn near identical) from another place simply because I refuse to drive clear across town and pay double for a product I can get somewhere else cheaper?

Or am I just being a catty biotch who is bitter she didn't get a gift registry when she started out because she is still single? Do I need to suck it up and stop whining?  

Wednesday, August 03, 2011

back-handed compliments

I usually have to laugh when I'm the recipient of a back-handled compliment, because in my experience nine times out of ten an insult is the LAST thing on the complimenter's mind.

Today I got a doozy and can't help but share. I just got my hair done last week and one of my sales people came in and said to me:

"I just love your hair. It looks just like a wig I have at home."


The name of this wig-which is VERY similar to my own style and color:
DARK BROWN FANCY PARTY WIG
No joke.

She went on to explain she wears a wig similar to my color and style when she wants to feel prettier, but the damage had already been done. Our Corporate Chef was red with laughter-and I was second-guessing my style choice.

Monday, August 01, 2011

attention whore

You wanna know the best way to get people's attention on Facebook? 

Put a well-known line from one of your favorite movies as your status update. Sit back and watch the hilarity ensue as your friends add THEIR favorite lines from said movie into the comments.

Today's movie I quoted to get said attention?

Ok, ok, I didn't post it to get attention. I DID post it because "Are you crazy? A man in a really nice trailer is gonna put our song on the radio. Gimme a pen. I'm signin', you're signin', we're all sighnin'." randomly popped into my head at lunch and I had to share.

It's quite possibly one of the best movies. With some of the best one-liners. Evar. What? You've never seen it? Do yourself a favor and rent it-or else I'll have to sic Captain Geech and the Shrimp-Shack Shooters on you...

You can thank me later.